Dating internet Personals single

I (19F) have strong feelings for a close friend of mine (M18).

2020.10.28 20:31 Asadstranger I (19F) have strong feelings for a close friend of mine (M18).

Okay so I am a 19 year old female and have a serious crush on my close friend, but for context. Me and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for about a year we started dating when I was 18 and now live together, I moved in with him due to personal reasons regarding family but that's besides the point.
Me and my boyfriend are in a poly relationship he has another girlfriend (20) and I am still only dating him at the moment, my boyfriend knows about my crush but the guy I like doesn't he knows me and my bf are poly and I have had a crush on him for a while, it started back when I was still single and first met him he's a really sweet guy and he makes me feel safe and happy.
The issue is I don't know if I can bring myself to tell him we're only friends via the internet and while we've seen what each other look like I don't know if he would want an online relationship let alone one with me, I have been wanting to tell him how I feel for the past week or so but I'm worried that it's gonna ruin are friendship. I really don't wanna lose him as a friend because of my feelings.
Please someone help me with this as I'm at a loss for what to do, Do I tell my friend that I have feelings for him, or do I just continue being his friend?
(Sorry for gramer mistakes. I'm dyslexic but I tried my best to make my sentences understandable.)
submitted by Asadstranger to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 19:34 Smoke-away Starlink Beta Terms of Service

Starlink Beta Consumer Service Terms

Space Exploration Technologies Corp. (“SpaceX”) offers two-way satellite-based internet service (“Services”) and a Starlink antenna, WiFi router, power supply and mount (“Starlink Kit” or “Kit”) to you, the customer, subject to these Starlink Beta Consumer Service Terms (“Terms”). These Terms and the details you agree to in your order when you apply for Services (“Order”) form the entire agreement between you and SpaceX (“Agreement”).

Purchasing Starlink Kit and Services

Residential Use:
SpaceX will provide the Services and the Starlink Kit per Section 4.1 (Limited Warranty) for use exclusively at the address you provided in your Order, and only for personal, family, household or residential use.
Title to Starlink Kit:
SpaceX transfers title to the Starlink Kit and any accessories to you at the time of shipment.
Software Updates and License Terms:
Software copies and updates installed on the Starlink Kit are not sold, only licensed to you personally (on a non-exclusive, non-transferable, limited and revocable basis), for use as installed on the Starlink Kit and subject to Software License and Usage Terms, and restrictions that SpaceX posts on the Starlink Customer Portal. SpaceX reserves all intellectual property rights and other rights and interests in the Starlink Kit, the Services, and the software, except as expressly granted in this Agreement. Payments. You have to pay a one-time purchase price for the Starlink Kit and any accessories when SpaceX accepts your Order and monthly recurring charges for the Services in accordance with the Services plan that you select in your Order. For Services, you authorize SpaceX to charge your approved payment method on a monthly, recurring basis, starting 14 days after SpaceX ships your Starlink Kit.
Payment Method:
You authorize SpaceX to charge an approved payment method. Use of a credit or debit card is subject to the terms and conditions in your card member agreement, including fees that may be charged by the issuer. If there is a change to your bank or card account information, including expiration date, you must update your payment information in the Starlink Customer Portal to avoid suspension or termination of Services. SpaceX may also update your payment method data with information provided by the payment service providers. You authorize us to continue to charge your payment method following any update to your information.
Shipping and Handling:
Shipping and Handling charges will apply and are non-refundable. The S&H charge may not be calculated until the Order is prepared. Orders will be shipped as soon as possible. Please consult your Starlink account for an estimate of delivery times. Deliveries may require signature. SpaceX will use the carrier of its choice.
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In addition to charges for the Services, the Starlink Kit, and any accessories you buy, we may collect or request reimbursement for taxes and other fees and surcharges required by law, including, without limitation, value added, goods and services, consumption, sales, use, gross receipts, excise, and access. You are also responsible for any additional government fees, rights of way charges, license or permit fees, and any other duties, charges or surcharges imposed on the sale or use of the Services or Starlink Kit.
Payment Disputes and Suspended Services:
Disputes on your Starlink bill should be handled via the Starlink Customer Portal. In the event of a billing dispute, you must timely pay all undisputed amounts. If the payment dispute is resolved against you, or if you simply fail to pay for Services on time, you must pay the amounts due or your Services will be suspended until the overdue amounts are paid.
Starlink Kit Installation:
You are responsible for installation of the Starlink Kit in a location that has a clear field of view, per the Install Guide available in the Starlink Customer Portal. It is your responsibility to ensure compliance with all applicable building codes, zoning, ordinances, business district or association rules, covenants, conditions, restrictions, lease obligations and landlord/owner approvals and requirements for the installation of the Starlink Kit, to pay any associated fees or other charges, and to obtain any permits and other authorizations necessary for the Services and the installation of the Starlink Kit. Should use of the Services require any construction or alteration to your property, SpaceX is not obliged to reimburse any expenses or restore your property to the same physical state as prior to delivery of Services. If you require a permanent roof mount installation, you acknowledge the potential risks associated with this type of installation, including, without limitation, with respect to any warranty that applies to your roof or penetration of your roof membrane. Follow the Install Guide. If you cannot safely install the Starlink Kit, do not install it.

Changes and Cancellation

Changes:
SpaceX may change or discontinue Services plans, prices, these Terms, and the Starlink Specifications from time to time. By continuing to use the Services you agree to any changes.
Cancellation Rights:
You can stop the recurring payment and cancel Services at any time via your Starlink account located within the Starlink Customer Portal. You are not entitled to any refunds, except as set forth under Sections 3.3 (Cancellation, Return and Full Refund) and 3.4 (Cancellation, Return and Partial Refund).
Cancellation, Return and Full Refund:
You may return an undamaged Starlink Kit and any accessories within 30 days of receipt for a full refund for any reason, including the inability to receive Services at your address due to field of view issues. To return the Starlink Kit or any accessories, follow instructions in the Return Policy in the Starlink Customer Portal.
Cancellation, Return and Partial Refund:
SpaceX will offer you the option to: (a) return and replace your Starlink Kit for a valid warranty claim based on Section 4.3 (Limited Remedies); or (b) receive a partial refund on your Kit if SpaceX implements a Substantial Change within 12 months of accepting your Order and does not give you an option to continue on your original terms for the remainder of the 12 month time period. Such partial refund will be calculated on a 12-month straight-line depreciation basis. For example, if SpaceX implements a Substantial Change 3 months after your initial Order, you have the option to return your Kit, cancel Services and SpaceX will refund you 75% of the purchase price you paid for the Kit (you are not entitled to refunds of recurring fees paid for the first 3 months of Services). Substantial Change means a price increase of more than 50% per month, or a downward correction of performance goals in the Starlink Specifications by more than 50%.

Limited Warranty, Disclaimers, Remedies and Liabilities

Limited Warranty:
The Starlink Kit and Services are novel, still in a beta testing phase, under development, and subject to change. SpaceX will use reasonable efforts to facilitate that the Starlink Kit, at the time of delivery, and the Services, as performed, substantially meet performance goals set forth in the Starlink Specifications, as amended by SpaceX from time to time based on experience and innovation. Exclusions and Force Majeure. SpaceX is not responsible for damage to the Starlink Kit after delivery, or for the operation of the Kit or the Services resulting from: (a) manual re-pointing of the antenna; (b) repair, modification, or disassembly of Starlink Kit by anyone other than SpaceX or its authorized agent; (c) failure to follow instructions, including by obstructing the Starlink Kit’s field of view; (d) fire, flood, wind, lightning, earthquake, weather, or other acts of nature or God; (e) spills of food or liquids on Starlink Kit; (f) planned or emergency maintenance on the network; (f) problems with your electrical power or network equipment; (g) misuse, abuse, accident, vandalism, alteration, or neglect; (h) normal wear and tear or deterioration, or superficial defects, dents, or marks that do not impact performance of the Starlink Kit; (i) use in combination with devices not provided or approved by SpaceX; (j) inability to obtain or maintain necessary permissions, authorizations, or permits; or (k) events not reasonably within SpaceX’s control.
Limited Remedies:
If the Starlink Kit or Services fail to meet the limited warranty standard set forth in Section 4.1 (Limited Warranty) and SpaceX receives a valid, detailed, written warranty claim from you within 12 months after delivery of the Starlink Kit, Starlink will either: (a) cure the discrepancy within 30 days of receiving your claim, including, at SpaceX’s choice, by replacing or repairing your Starlink Kit (with a new, different or refurbished device or part, which will be covered by the limited warranty set forth in Section 4.1 (Limited Warranty) for the greater of 3 months or the remainder of the original 12 month warranty period), or (b) offer you the option to cancel Services and return your Starlink Kit for a partial refund as set forth under Section 3.4 (Cancellation, Return, and Partial Refund). Once 12 months have passed from the delivery of the Starlink Kit, your sole remedy is that you can cancel Services any time and stop recurring charges starting the following month, but you are no longer entitled to any refunds (or any other remedies). The limited remedies prescribed in this Section 4.3 (Limited Remedies) are your sole and exclusive remedies in case of any warranty claims, breaches of contract or dissatisfaction with the Starlink Kit or Services.
DISCLAIMERS:
EXCEPT AS SET FORTH IN SECTION 4.1 (LIMITED WARRANTY), SPACEX PROVIDES THE STARLINK KIT AND SERVICES “AS IS,” WITHOUT ANY EXPRESS WARRANTY OR REPRESENTATION. SPACEX DISCLAIMS ALL IMPLIED WARRANTIES AND REPRESENTATIONS, INCLUDING ANY IMPLIED WARRANTY OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY. SPACEX WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR INDIRECT DAMAGES, LOSS OF GOODWILL OR BUSINESS PROFITS, LOST REVENUE, WORK STOPPAGE, LOSS OR CORRUPTION OF DATA, COMPUTER FAILURE, DATA SECURITY BREACH, MALFUNCTION OR ANY LOSSES OR DAMAGES RESULTING FROM THE KIT INSTALLATION, REPAIR, REMOVAL, OR OTHER ASSOCIATED SERVICES. SPACEX’S LIABILITY UNDER THESE TERMS FOR ANY INDIVIDUAL CLAIM OR ALL CLAIMS IN THE AGGREGATE WILL NOT EXCEED THE TOTAL AMOUNT PAID BY YOU TO SPACEX UNDER THESE TERMS OVER THE SIX MONTHS PROCEEDING THE CLAIM GIVING RISE TO THE LIABILITY. THE LIMITATIONS SET FORTH IN THIS SECTION WILL APPLY TO ANY CLAIMS OR DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF OR RELATED TO THE AGREEMENT, SERVICES OR STARLINK KIT, INCLUDING ANY EXEMPLARY OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER SPACEX WAS INFORMED OR WAS AWARE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH LOSS OR DAMAGE, AND REGARDLESS OF WHETHER CLAIMS ARE ASSERTED BASED ON CONTRACT, STATUTE, TORT, STRICT LIABILITY, NEGLIGENCE, OR OTHER LEGAL OR EQUITABLE CLAIM OR THEORY PROVIDED, EXCEPT IF AND TO THE EXTENT THAT ANY LIMITATION VIOLATES APPLICABLE MANDATORY LAW THAT THE PARTIES CANNOT DEROGATE FROM BY WAY OF CONTRACT. ASSUMPTION OF RISK. YOU AGREE THAT YOUR USE OF THE SERVICES AND THE STARLINK KIT, AND SUCH USE BY ANYONE USING YOUR ACCOUNT, IS AT YOUR SOLE RISK. SERVICES ARE NOT SUITED OR INTENDED AS A MISSION-CRITICAL OR SAFETY-OF-LIFE SERVICE.

Compliance

Privacy:
SpaceX processes personal information as described in its Starlink Privacy Policy, as amended from time to time. Acceptable Use Policy. You agree not to use, or permit others to use, the Services in ways that (a) violate any law or applicable regulation, (b) violate the Starlink Acceptable Use Policy, or other policies available on the Starlink Customer Portal, (c) infringe the rights of others, or (d) interfere with the users, Services, or Starlink Kit of the Starlink network or other networks. You are responsible for complying with the terms for any third party services (e.g., video streaming or gaming apps) that you subscribe to using Starlink Services.
Trade Laws:
You must comply with all applicable International Trade Controls in the context of these Terms, which means applicable export control, economic sanctions, customs/import, anti-money laundering, and anti-corruption laws and regulations. You acknowledge that you are only authorized to access Services at the location identified on your Order, and you will not divert the Starlink Kit or Services to any other locations, or to users or for uses that are prohibited under International Trade Controls.
No Resale:
You may not resell access to the Services to others as a stand-alone service, unless agreed to in a separate agreement with SpaceX.
Indemnification:
You agree to compensate and hold harmless SpaceX against all claims, liability, damages, costs, and expenses, including but not limited to reasonable attorneys’ fees, arising out of or related to these Terms, any and all uses of your account, and your use of the Services. This includes, without limitation: (a) responsibility for all such consequences resulting from actions by you or any user of your account in violation of these Terms, the Acceptable Use Policy, or any law or regulation; (b) negligent, reckless or intentionally wrongful act by you or any user of your account; and (c) any breach by you of any of the covenants contained in these Terms.
No Transfers, Assignments:
You may not assign, sell, or transfer this Agreement, software installed on the Starlink Kit, or access to Services. Any attempted transfer or assignment will be null and void. SpaceX may terminate this Agreement for cause if you attempt to transfer Services or this Agreement. If your Starlink Kit is stolen, destroyed or otherwise removed from your premises without your authorization, you must provide notice via the Starlink Customer Portal immediately, or else you may be liable for payment of unauthorized use of the Services. You are liable for any charges or fees incurred by the use of the Services and Starlink Kit by anyone else. SpaceX can assign these Terms, in whole or in part, to any individual or entity we choose, at any time, without notice to you, in our sole discretion.
Termination by SpaceX:
SpaceX may, at any time, without prior notice, immediately terminate or suspend all or a portion of your account and/or access to the Services for: (a) a violation of these Terms, including the Starlink Acceptable Use Policy; (b) a request and/or order from law enforcement, a judicial body, or other government agency; (c) unexpected technical or security issues or problems, including but not limited to a material malfunction of the Starlink network, software or hardware; (d) a failure to obtain or maintain the necessary governmental authorizations required to bring Services; (e) your participation in fraudulent or illegal activities; or (f) your failure to pay any fees owed for Services if you have not cured such non-payment within 10 day period of receiving a request to cure from SpaceX.
Governing Law:
For Services provided to, on, or in orbit around the planet Earth or the Moon, these Terms and any disputes between us arising out of or related to these Terms, including disputes regarding arbitrability (“Disputes”) will be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of California in the United States. For Services provided on Mars, or in transit to Mars via Starship or other colonization spacecraft, the parties recognize Mars as a free planet and that no Earth-based government has authority or sovereignty over Martian activities. Accordingly, Disputes will be settled through self-governing principles, established in good faith, at the time of Martian settlement.
Agreement to Arbitrate:
Please carefully read Section 10 (Agreement to Arbitrate), which applies to any Disputes between you and SpaceX. Under these Terms, you and SpaceX each waive any and all rights to have a court or jury hear or decide any Disputes. Rather, Disputes will be settled by a single arbitrator in a binding arbitration administered by the American Arbitration Association (“AAA”) in accordance with the United States Commercial Arbitration Rules of the AAA. To learn more about the rules and how to begin an arbitration, you may call any AAA office or go to www.adr.org.
Notice of Dispute:
If you have a Dispute, before initiating arbitration, you must send a Notice of Dispute to [REDACTED]@spacex.com describing your issue and your desired resolution. If your Dispute has not been resolved within 60 days of submitting a notice, you may initiate arbitration as described above. Arbitration Costs and Fees. If you commence an arbitration against SpaceX pursuant to this binding arbitration clause, SpaceX will pay the arbitration fees and expenses imposed by the AAA directly. However, if the arbitrator finds your claim is frivolous or brought for an improper purpose, then SpaceX may seek reimbursement of any AAA fees and expenses it has paid on your behalf.
PROHIBITION ON CLASS ARBITRATION:
YOU AND SPACEX AGREE THAT NO DISPUTE OR CLAIM MAY BE BROUGHT OR MAINTAINED AS PART OF A CLASS ACTION OR CLASS ARBITRATION OR OTHER REPRESENTATIVE ACTION OR ARBITRATION, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE APPLICABLE ARBITRATION RULES WOULD OTHERWISE PERMIT CLASS OR REPRESENTATIVE PROCEEDINGS. ACCORDINGLY, YOU AND SPACEX MAY ONLY PURSUE A CLAIM AGAINST THE OTHER IN AN INDIVIDUAL CAPACITY, AND MAY NOT PURSUE A CLAIM AGAINST THE OTHER ON BEHALF OF ANY OTHER PERSON, AND NO OTHER PERSON MAY PURSUE A CLAIM ON BEHALF OF YOU OR SPACEX AGAINST THE OTHER. AN ARBITRATOR MAY ENTER AN AWARD ONLY IN FAVOR OF THE INDIVIDUAL PARTY SEEKING RELIEF AND ONLY TO THE EXTENT NECESSARY TO PROVIDE RELIEF WARRANTED BY THAT PARTY’S INDIVIDUAL CLAIM.

General Provisions

Eligibility:
You must be at least 18 years old (or the legal age of majority in your jurisdiction of residence) to enroll in Services. Enrollment limits may apply. Offers are contingent upon product availability. Services and Starlink Kit may not be available in all locations.
Records:
You should keep copies of these Terms and any sales receipt or other materials relevant to your purchase of the Starlink Kit and Services for your records. SpaceX reserves the right to substitute, change, cancel, or add to any part of these Terms at any time upon notice to you, and your continued use of the Services constitutes agreement to the updated Terms. Visit the Starlink Customer Portal for the most current Terms.
Electronic Delivery Policy, Customer Consent and Notices:
You consent to receive all agreements, updates, disclosures, policies, notices, and other information (collectively, “Notices”) provided by SpaceX or its affiliates via paper and/or electronic delivery at SpaceX’s sole discretion. SpaceX may deliver or display Notices to you by email or pop-up window, or by posting a message on the Services or the Starlink Customer Portal. You may receive periodic texts, emails, or other communications from SpaceX, such as notices regarding expiration of your account and changes to these Terms.
No Waiver:
No waiver by SpaceX of any breach of these Terms will be a waiver of any preceding or succeeding breach. No waiver by SpaceX of any right under these Terms will be construed as a waiver of any other right. SpaceX will not be required to give notice to enforce strict adherence of these Terms. A waiver must be provided in writing by an authorized representative of SpaceX to be effective.
submitted by Smoke-away to Starlink [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 18:50 SloppyEyeScream Mass Attacks, Operation Inherent Resolve, Operation New Dawn, and Fallen Brothers

The amount of Personal Identification Numbers (PINs) and Passwords I have to remember for work is astonishing. I have to utilize a Common Access Card (CAC) to access the Unclassified network. I have to utilize a Token, and Password to access the Secret network. I have another ridiculous Username and Password combination to Access Top Secret (TS), and Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI). Then there are separate PINs and Passwords for numerous other stuff-and-things. I do a fairly decent job of remembering my Passwords, but I get irritated when I have to reset them. I recently had to change one of my Passwords, and it was vitally important I remember it, because resetting it is a painful process. I very cautiously typed in P-E-N-I-S into the keyboard only for the computer to tell me it was "too short." Imagine my surprise when I realized that, in addition to my wife, my computer thinks my manhood is inadequate.
Many of you are well-aware that I "hunt laughs" every single day. I am selfish in this endeavor though. I feel the need to make myself laugh first. However, I do appreciate it when others enjoy my stories. It really is a symbiotic relationship. Unfortunately, there are days when life gives me lemons. Melons for you dyslexic folks. Today is a good day, for a good day! However, I am fully aware that a bad day is quickly approaching.
Anniversaries are a date in which an event took place a previous year. They are typically enjoyable events. Not all anniversaries are enjoyable events though. I have an anniversary I dread, it's one of many, and it is quickly approaching. I still struggle to find a logical reason why one of my closest friends felt the need drunkenly sit in his car, and then kiss his Glock goodnight. It was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It was also selfish.
I first met Zach in Regiment. We quickly became friends due to a fucking Lego commercial.
Lego Commercial Extract
I know a boy, his name is Zach
He loves to click, yeah he loves to stack
Yeah construction is his knack, he's Zach the Lego maniac
That commercial, and those fucking awful lyrics ruined my Birthday, and Christmas for years to come. Lego's quickly became the default gift for the entirety of my early childhood. I initially thought it was something I would outgrow, but I was wrong.
Dad: What do you think Zach want's for his Sweet Sixteen?
Mom: Probably a car!?!
Dad: Excellent idea. We shall get him a Lego car. It will nicely compliment the six tons of Lego blocks he currently has.
I shit you not, I got a Game Boy, and an "Advanced Build" Lego car. I couldn't fit inside it, but the gas mileage was great. Well, Zach and I immediately bonded because we had the same issue growing up. If we pooled our resources, and built a mountain of Lego's, Mount Everest would quickly become the worlds second highest mountain. It was that ridiculous.
People come and go in the military. Zach and I eventually departed Regiment and walked separate paths. The world is a funny place, and "it's a small war" holds true. I was gallivanting around Amman, Jordan and I found myself at an Irish bar. There were two men a the end of the bar and one caught my eye. He had a beard that could easily scratch his nipples, and he looked an American. He was either a lumberjack, or homeless, but he was definitely an American. We both continued glancing at each other, but couldn't figure it out. "I know you from somewhere?" Then I seen an unmistakable tattoo. It was Zach.
OP: Gents! How about I buy you a beer?
Zach: Do I know you?
OP: (Talk to Bartender) Fine. This guy will take an Amstel, and this guy probably wants some Lego's.
Bartender: (Puzzled) Lego's? Is that a shot?
Zach: HOLY FUCK. OP NICKNAME!?!
OP: Yup!
Zach: What the fuck are you doing here?
OP: It's the only Irish bar in Amman.
Zach: I mean Jordan?
OP: I came for the Dead Sea, Petra, and Harley Davidson shirts. What the fuck are you doing here?
Zach: (Laughing) Same!
Bartender: (Confused) Do you want a shot?
OP: Three beers, and Three shots of your cheapest liquor!
Zach and I became an inseparable force in Jordan, and our work complimented each other. We were both there to support Operation Inherent Resolve (OIR). We are still trying to "Resolve" it, but it was the greatest four-month deployment I have ever had. Zach and I relived the "old times." We discussed Hawk stories. We discussed the first time we experienced the losing end of an Improvised Explosive Device (IED/Roadside Bomb). When even discussed my favorite "Zach Story."
"Mass Attack" Airborne Operation
OP: Your leg straps are ridiculously loose.
Zach: I always jump like this brother.
OP: Really? Uncomfortable is comfortable during the "opening shock." That shit is too loose for me to ride.
Zach: Never had any problems before!
Dropzone Steps
  1. Hit Mother Earth like a sack-of-shit
  2. Question life choices that led you to Step One.
  3. Immediately release six gallons of piss you body managed to produce during "Map of The Earth" flying shenanigans.
  4. Account for Sensitive Items.
  5. Start walk to Alpha-Alpha (Assembly Area)
  6. Question life choices again.
I was briefly interrupted during Step Six of the process. I heard some very loud screaming, and made my way to an injured jumper. Everyone looked like a gun toting green elf under Night Vision. I continued my journey to the injured jumper, and then stumbled upon Zach. He was in obvious pain, and holding his crotch area.
OP: What's up brother?
Zach: I think something went wrong!
OP: What happened?
Zach: I don't know. I am too afraid to look.
OP Brain: You definitely have to see this shit.
OP: Let me take a look.
Zach: (Undoes Pants) Is it bad?
OP Brain: Nope! It's terrible.
OP: (Red Light): Ah!?! That doesn't look good.
Zach: (Scarred Voice) What?
OP: I don't know exactly. It is hard to see under Red Light. Fuck it! I'm going White Light (Big No-No).
OP Brain: HO-LEE FUCK. YOU TORE YOUR DICKHEAD OFF!
OP: You seem to have a small abrasion on your dickhead!
Zach: W-H-A-T???
OP: (Radio) Medic, this is OP Over.
Medic: Go for Medic!
OP: I need you at GRID LOCATION immediately.
Medic: Just me, or do we need the FLA (Field Litter Ambulance)?
OP: FLA. The patient is an Urgent Surgical with an abrasion to his penis!
Medic: (Laughing) Are you fucking with me!
OP: NO. FLA. ASAP (As Soon As Possible)
Zach: Did you just say URGENT SURGICAL? You said SMALL ABRASION SLOPPY NICKNAME.
OP Brain: Lie to him!
OP: Relax man. You're gonna be fine!
OP Brain: Great lie!
Medical FLA Arrives
Doc Feldman: What happened?
OP: Just look!
Doc Feldman: (White Light) HOLY FUCK! YOU TORE YOUR DICKHEAD OFF. HOW IN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?
Zach: My leg straps during the "opening shock."
OP Brain: (Light Bulb Moment) Tell Him!!!
OP: (Laughing) Ha! I fucking told you so!
Zach had surgery, and although nobody in the Platoon was a medical professional, we frequently asked to visually observe the healing progress. It was the very first Franken-Cock I seen in the military. Zach was the very definition of Urgent Surgical, and the doctors had to meticulously reattach the mushroom cap to the stem. Unrelated, but Zach had a very strict "No Sex Profile" for months to ensure the cap didn't pop off in the squish mitten. He frequently disobeyed medical orders though, and the healing process took nearly four months.
Rant Complete! Back to Jordan.
With the logically enhancing assistance of alcohol, and Power of Grayskull, we made new stories. Zach was the reason I found the pet store in Amman, which means he is also the reason a goldfish lived in my bidet. At least until the thieving maids stole him. Zach and I were back in business, and our mutually beneficial work relationship continued long after our Jordan deployment. It was truly the first time I had managed maintain persistent contact with an old friend.
All good things must come to an end! I understand that I only have one opportunity at the "Game of Life." I beat the shit out of my body, and go "Full Send" frequently. I was deployed to Lebanon when I received a phone call a former Company Commander who was now working at Special Operations Command (SOCOM). My war-monger life in Lebanon was raining tits, but then I got hit in the face with a dick. Zach had committed suicide the night before. I was devastatingly shocked.
LONG PAUSE
Long Pause? I literally took a break. Why? That's the same question I asked. It was the very first question I asked Ced. Why? November is quickly approaching. It is nearly the five year "anniversary" of his death, and I still cannot answer that question. "WHY?" I simply don't understand, and I don't think I ever will. I struggle with that question as I type. There is an multitude of emotions surging through my body, and anger is one of them.
I am not afraid, anymore, to admit that I had contemplated suicide. I loathed all the cliché sayings like, "Rock Bottom is a great place to build a foundation upwards." It's true though. I built up from what I interpreted to be "Rock Bottom." I reached for the outstretched hands. Here's the deal though; the only thing that stopped me was the devastating toll I know I would inflict on my children. Sure, my "pain" would end, but that pain would not go away. I would simply be passing the pain on to others. My children would ask "Why?" I simply could not do that to them.
"Is this a MilitaryStories Sloppy?" Yes! I hope it stays up too. It's about Airborne Operations. It's about Operation Inherent Resolve. It's about a mostly severed dickhead. Most importantly, it's about a persistent issue that continues to plague the military and our veterans. This is not indicative to the United States either. Our North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) brothers and sisters suffer from the same "Military Story." It's about the time you returned from Afghanistan and found out your close brother in 3RD Special Forces Group (SFG) killed himself because his spouse left, or your brother that struggled with the transition to the "Civilian World." I deployed to Operation New Dawn for five months and lost two brothers, but neither of them died on a pile of warm 5.56 brass while defending their country.
I know the flood of phone calls is about to start in the coming weeks. I will be talking with friends and his family about the "good ole days." I am certain we will laugh, and I am equally certain we will cry. I know we will also ponder the "why" he didn't reach out for help? There were so many of us that would extend our hands, and pull our friend upwards. Zach didn't reach out though. Zach was a paratrooper and he "slipped away." There is nothing we can do to undo Zach's actions. Nothing is going to bring him back. That's does not mean we quit though.
I am fully aware that this is not my typical post. The MilitaryStories Description Box stares at me every single time I visit this wonderful Sub. No, it's certainly not my typical story. It is now, more than ever, one of the most appropriate stories I have posted. I understand that were are nothing more than a collective of internet strangers, but you'd be surprised how powerful this collection of humanoids are. Since joining Reddit in August, I have had three people reach out for help. I don't know if I made a difference, I really don't, but I know they are still here. I (Personal Opinion) think suicide is selfish act, a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I still feel anger when I think about Zach, but I won't quite on anyone.
Dear Reader, I ask that you be cognizant of your fellow humans. Especially now, and certainly on this Sub. Many of us have spent countless years serving our respective country, and evading death. We have seen the deplorable acts, and the depravity of humanity in war-torn lands. We never quit on our country, so please don't quit on your brothers and sisters, and never quit on yourself. Feel free to reach out to Sloppy if no one else. I have plenty of "war stories" to share.
Be Safe, and stay away from the Zombies.
Cheers!

submitted by SloppyEyeScream to FuckeryUniveristy [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 18:49 SloppyEyeScream Mass Attacks, Operations Inherent Resolve, Operation New Dawn, and Fallen Brothers!

The amount of Personal Identification Numbers (PINs) and Passwords I have to remember for work is astonishing. I have to utilize a Common Access Card (CAC) to access the Unclassified network. I have to utilize a Token, and Password to access the Secret network. I have another ridiculous Username and Password combination to Access Top Secret (TS), and Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI). Then there are separate PINs and Passwords for numerous other stuff-and-things. I do a fairly decent job of remembering my Passwords, but I get irritated when I have to reset them. I recently had to change one of my Passwords, and it was vitally important I remember it, because resetting it is a painful process. I very cautiously typed in P-E-N-I-S into the keyboard only for the computer to tell me it was "too short." Imagine my surprise when I realized that, in addition to my wife, my computer thinks my manhood is inadequate.
Many of you are well-aware that I "hunt laughs" every single day. I am selfish in this endeavor though. I feel the need to make myself laugh first. However, I do appreciate it when others enjoy my stories. It really is a symbiotic relationship. Unfortunately, there are days when life gives me lemons. Melons for you dyslexic folks. Today is a good day, for a good day! However, I am fully aware that a bad day is quickly approaching.
Anniversaries are a date in which an event took place a previous year. They are typically enjoyable events. Not all anniversaries are enjoyable events though. I have an anniversary I dread, it's one of many, and it is quickly approaching. I still struggle to find a logical reason why one of my closest friends felt the need drunkenly sit in his car, and then kiss his Glock goodnight. It was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It was also selfish.
I first met Zach in Regiment. We quickly became friends due to a fucking Lego commercial.
Lego Commercial Extract
I know a boy, his name is Zach
He loves to click, yeah he loves to stack
Yeah construction is his knack, he's Zach the Lego maniac
That commercial, and those fucking awful lyrics ruined my Birthday, and Christmas for years to come. Lego's quickly became the default gift for the entirety of my early childhood. I initially thought it was something I would outgrow, but I was wrong.
Dad: What do you think Zach want's for his Sweet Sixteen?
Mom: Probably a car!?!
Dad: Excellent idea. We shall get him a Lego car. It will nicely compliment the six tons of Lego blocks he currently has.
I shit you not, I got a Game Boy, and an "Advanced Build" Lego car. I couldn't fit inside it, but the gas mileage was great. Well, Zach and I immediately bonded because we had the same issue growing up. If we pooled our resources, and built a mountain of Lego's, Mount Everest would quickly become the worlds second highest mountain. It was that ridiculous.
People come and go in the military. Zach and I eventually departed Regiment and walked separate paths. The world is a funny place, and "it's a small war" holds true. I was gallivanting around Amman, Jordan and I found myself at an Irish bar. There were two men a the end of the bar and one caught my eye. He had a beard that could easily scratch his nipples, and he looked an American. He was either a lumberjack, or homeless, but he was definitely an American. We both continued glancing at each other, but couldn't figure it out. "I know you from somewhere?" Then I seen an unmistakable tattoo. It was Zach.
OP: Gents! How about I buy you a beer?
Zach: Do I know you?
OP: (Talk to Bartender) Fine. This guy will take an Amstel, and this guy probably wants some Lego's.
Bartender: (Puzzled) Lego's? Is that a shot?
Zach: HOLY FUCK. OP NICKNAME!?!
OP: Yup!
Zach: What the fuck are you doing here?
OP: It's the only Irish bar in Amman.
Zach: I mean Jordan?
OP: I came for the Dead Sea, Petra, and Harley Davidson shirts. What the fuck are you doing here?
Zach: (Laughing) Same!
Bartender: (Confused) Do you want a shot?
OP: Three beers, and Three shots of your cheapest liquor!
Zach and I became an inseparable force in Jordan, and our work complimented each other. We were both there to support Operation Inherent Resolve (OIR). We are still trying to "Resolve" it, but it was the greatest four-month deployment I have ever had. Zach and I relived the "old times." We discussed Hawk stories. We discussed the first time we experienced the losing end of an Improvised Explosive Device (IED/Roadside Bomb). When even discussed my favorite "Zach Story."
"Mass Attack" Airborne Operation
OP: Your leg straps are ridiculously loose.
Zach: I always jump like this brother.
OP: Really? Uncomfortable is comfortable during the "opening shock." That shit is too loose for me to ride.
Zach: Never had any problems before!
Dropzone Steps
  1. Hit Mother Earth like a sack-of-shit
  2. Question life choices that led you to Step One.
  3. Immediately release six gallons of piss you body managed to produce during "Map of The Earth" flying shenanigans.
  4. Account for Sensitive Items.
  5. Start walk to Alpha-Alpha (Assembly Area)
  6. Question life choices again.
I was briefly interrupted during Step Six of the process. I heard some very loud screaming, and made my way to an injured jumper. Everyone looked like a gun toting green elf under Night Vision. I continued my journey to the injured jumper, and then stumbled upon Zach. He was in obvious pain, and holding his crotch area.
OP: What's up brother?
Zach: I think something went wrong!
OP: What happened?
Zach: I don't know. I am too afraid to look.
OP Brain: You definitely have to see this shit.
OP: Let me take a look.
Zach: (Undoes Pants) Is it bad?
OP Brain: Nope! It's terrible.
OP: (Red Light): Ah!?! That doesn't look good.
Zach: (Scarred Voice) What?
OP: I don't know exactly. It is hard to see under Red Light. Fuck it! I'm going White Light (Big No-No).
OP Brain: HO-LEE FUCK. YOU TORE YOUR DICKHEAD OFF!
OP: You seem to have a small abrasion on your dickhead!
Zach: W-H-A-T???
OP: (Radio) Medic, this is OP Over.
Medic: Go for Medic!
OP: I need you at GRID LOCATION immediately.
Medic: Just me, or do we need the FLA (Field Litter Ambulance)?
OP: FLA. The patient is an Urgent Surgical with an abrasion to his penis!
Medic: (Laughing) Are you fucking with me!
OP: NO. FLA. ASAP (As Soon As Possible)
Zach: Did you just say URGENT SURGICAL? You said SMALL ABRASION SLOPPY NICKNAME.
OP Brain: Lie to him!
OP: Relax man. You're gonna be fine!
OP Brain: Great lie!
Medical FLA Arrives
Doc Feldman: What happened?
OP: Just look!
Doc Feldman: (White Light) HOLY FUCK! YOU TORE YOUR DICKHEAD OFF. HOW IN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?
Zach: My leg straps during the "opening shock."
OP Brain: (Light Bulb Moment) Tell Him!!!
OP: (Laughing) Ha! I fucking told you so!
Zach had surgery, and although nobody in the Platoon was a medical professional, we frequently asked to visually observe the healing progress. It was the very first Franken-Cock I seen in the military. Zach was the very definition of Urgent Surgical, and the doctors had to meticulously reattach the mushroom cap to the stem. Unrelated, but Zach had a very strict "No Sex Profile" for months to ensure the cap didn't pop off in the squish mitten. He frequently disobeyed medical orders though, and the healing process took nearly four months.
Rant Complete! Back to Jordan.
With the logically enhancing assistance of alcohol, and Power of Grayskull, we made new stories. Zach was the reason I found the pet store in Amman, which means he is also the reason a goldfish lived in my bidet. At least until the thieving maids stole him. Zach and I were back in business, and our mutually beneficial work relationship continued long after our Jordan deployment. It was truly the first time I had managed maintain persistent contact with an old friend.
All good things must come to an end! I understand that I only have one opportunity at the "Game of Life." I beat the shit out of my body, and go "Full Send" frequently. I was deployed to Lebanon when I received a phone call a former Company Commander who was now working at Special Operations Command (SOCOM). My war-monger life in Lebanon was raining tits, but then I got hit in the face with a dick. Zach had committed suicide the night before. I was devastatingly shocked.
LONG PAUSE
Long Pause? I literally took a break. Why? That's the same question I asked. It was the very first question I asked Ced. Why? November is quickly approaching. It is nearly the five year "anniversary" of his death, and I still cannot answer that question. "WHY?" I simply don't understand, and I don't think I ever will. I struggle with that question as I type. There is an multitude of emotions surging through my body, and anger is one of them.
I am not afraid, anymore, to admit that I had contemplated suicide. I loathed all the cliché sayings like, "Rock Bottom is a great place to build a foundation upwards." It's true though. I built up from what I interpreted to be "Rock Bottom." I reached for the outstretched hands. Here's the deal though; the only thing that stopped me was the devastating toll I know I would inflict on my children. Sure, my "pain" would end, but that pain would not go away. I would simply be passing the pain on to others. My children would ask "Why?" I simply could not do that to them.
"Is this a MilitaryStories Sloppy?" Yes! I hope it stays up too. It's about Airborne Operations. It's about Operation Inherent Resolve. It's about a mostly severed dickhead. Most importantly, it's about a persistent issue that continues to plague the military and our veterans. This is not indicative to the United States either. Our North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) brothers and sisters suffer from the same "Military Story." It's about the time you returned from Afghanistan and found out your close brother in 3RD Special Forces Group (SFG) killed himself because his spouse left, or your brother that struggled with the transition to the "Civilian World." I deployed to Operation New Dawn for five months and lost two brothers, but neither of them died on a pile of warm 5.56 brass while defending their country.
I know the flood of phone calls is about to start in the coming weeks. I will be talking with friends and his family about the "good ole days." I am certain we will laugh, and I am equally certain we will cry. I know we will also ponder the "why" he didn't reach out for help? There were so many of us that would extend our hands, and pull our friend upwards. Zach didn't reach out though. Zach was a paratrooper and he "slipped away." There is nothing we can do to undo Zach's actions. Nothing is going to bring him back. That's does not mean we quit though.
I am fully aware that this is not my typical post. The MilitaryStories Description Box stares at me every single time I visit this wonderful Sub. No, it's certainly not my typical story. It is now, more than ever, one of the most appropriate stories I have posted. I understand that were are nothing more than a collective of internet strangers, but you'd be surprised how powerful this collection of humanoids are. Since joining Reddit in August, I have had three people reach out for help. I don't know if I made a difference, I really don't, but I know they are still here. I (Personal Opinion) think suicide is selfish act, a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I still feel anger when I think about Zach, but I won't quite on anyone.
Dear Reader, I ask that you be cognizant of your fellow humans. Especially now, and certainly on this Sub. Many of us have spent countless years serving our respective country, and evading death. We have seen the deplorable acts, and the depravity of humanity in war-torn lands. We never quit on our country, so please don't quit on your brothers and sisters, and never quit on yourself. Feel free to reach out to Sloppy if no one else. I have plenty of "war stories" to share.
Be Safe, and stay away from the Zombies.
Cheers!
submitted by SloppyEyeScream to MilitaryStories [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 17:47 AvailableEagle3 How to sell your car - the reality!

Hello I am new here but not new in the car business at all. I spent a lot of time reading stories of customers about buying a car but I did not saw a single story of somebody giving/asking for advice how to sell their car. In the past 1 and a half year I am the buyer manager here at our dealership and I am on top of the buying department. We are doing things different than most dealers. We do not buy cars from auctions but instead we buy cars as a street purchase. We use multiple paths to do that. During that time I learned a lot more about the purchase process and how similliadifferent is from the selling process. However I also learned the right and the wrong things that people are doing when they are selling their cars. So if you are selling your car please read this post. It will be very beneficial for you!
In these difficult and challenging times a lot of people are trying to sell their cars for multiple reasons - they lost a job, they work from home and don`t want to make payments or they don`t need a car anymore. Whatever the reason is they are looking for one thing - to sell it and get the most for it. Now the first question that you have to ask yourself when you are selling your car is -How fast I need the money and how much time I am ready to invest? There are 2 ways to sell your car. The fastest one is to sell it to a dealer or some of the companies that buy used cars as Carvana, CarMax, Vroom etc. The money that you will receive will be less than the retail value but if your car is in good shape the cut will not be that big. The second way is to do it by yourself selling the car on the street. You will probably get more money instead of selling it to a dealer but this process is way more challenging and time consuming. If you choose this way you have to be ready to invest several weeks at least in order to sell the car. Here are the actions that you have to take in order to sell your car privately:
  1. First and most important - DO NOT BE LAZY! That means that you have to invest a lot of time and efforts to sell your car! If you thing that your car will sell by it self while you are just sitting on the couch you are wrong! The very first thing that you have to do is to clean your car. As a person that works in this business and who is appraising a ton of cars on a monthly basis I am shocked to see cars that are coming in dirty and full with all kind of trash or stains on the seats and the leather. I have been seen everything - masks hanging on the rear view mirror, stains from coffee, blood and God knows what else on the door panels, leather seats, dashboard etc. This is totally unacceptable and disgusting! We are in a pandemic! Make sure that your car is clean inside and outside and throw away all the trash. The other people are not obligated to see it/touch it and get infected with any kind of disease just because you are lazy! After you clean your car spend time to take some good pictures. At least 15-20 pictures! This way your potential buyers will have a way better idea how your car looks like and you will save a ton of time meeting people who will come and see something that is not shown on pictures that they will not like and will run a way. Take a picture of the exterior form all the possible angles, interior from the position of front and rear doors so the seats are perfectly visible, the dashboard while the car is running so people can see the real mileage and if the car has any service lights on it. A picture of the middle console where is the screen of the multimedia, picture of the front tires so people can see how good is the tread, picture of ANY damage on the car. Once you are done with the pictures spend some time to thing about a good description of the car. There is nothing worse than an add with only 2 words on it that I see every day on Craigslist/Facebook and that pisses me off! The description should include everything - what has been done on the car, if the car had any accidents in the past, what needs to be done on the car, how many keys do you have, does the vehicle has a payoff etc. As many information you put in the add lesser the questions will be from possible customers. In order for you to provide a good description my advice is to get your car inspected by a licensed mechanic who will be able to determine what needs to be done asap. You need to do that in order to avoid any surprises with buyers.
  2. Forget about the words -"I don`t want to waste my time". You are selling your car! It does not matter if you are doing this privately or for living but you have to understand that if you want to get the best offer for your car you have to work for the sale! That means you have to spend time answering phone calls, text messages and emails. You have to invest time to see as many buyers as possible! Do not turn down people who can`t come to your place! Even more - meet them somewhere away from your house! You don`t know what kind of person will come to look at the car. Do it in a public parking or a police station. Even if its necessary to travel 20,30, 40 miles from your home do it! Because you never know if this buyer will not be the one that will outbid seriously every other buyer that you have and will give you the best offer! One of the things that I am hearing when I am contacting sellers is "I don`t want to drive because you are 30 minutes away from me". Completely wrong! Meet every prospect that calls you for the car! Do not ask people how much are they willing to give you for the car or to give you a certain offer before they can even see the car. It is not professional and not good at all. You will push them away from your car! Remember your car is not the only one on the market and you have to convince the buyer to buy it, not him to convince you to sell it because the buyers have other options!
  3. Said the above - be ready to meet all kind of people. Everybody is trying to avoid tire kickers but this is impossible! Leave your prejudice behind the door of your house and show the car to every possible car buyer. Get ready to get a lot of no shows. Believe or not people are rootless. They are selfish and don`t care that you took time off from work or family to show them the car so they don`t feel obligated to call you when they are not coming in. The other part of the people will show, drive the car and will give you a stupid low offer. Get use to it. It is part of the business. But don`t give an attitude to the next buyer just because the previous one was a complete jerk. The simple statistics shows that only 50% of the appointments that you have will possibly show and 33% of them will be willing to buy your car. So you have 33% chance to close a deal. In order this to happen you will need at least 20 people to contact you, 10 to schedule an appointment, 5 to show so you can sell it to one.
  4. Price your car appropriate! There are multiple tools on internet that can help you to determine the price of your car and what is a good offer. Make sure to check how many cars as yours are for sale within 50 miles radius, how many of them are sold by dealers, are they certified and make sure that your offer is at least couple thousand dollars bellow the dealers offers and is similar to other private offers! One of the mistakes that people do when they are trying to sell their car is to let the emotions determine the price. This is wrong. Also do not price the car based on what your pay off is! Your car value is not your loan! Its either greater than that or lower than that! In very rare cases is close to it.
  5. Always allow customers to test drive your car! Make sure that you bring somebody else with you as well for safety. Make a copy of customer`s DL for your protection as well. If something seems to be fishy back out immediately. If a customer wants to test drive the car by it self do not allow it!
  6. Make sure that the paperwork of the car is up to date and you have the title. If the customer wants to pay with check make sure that you finish the transaction in your bank and ask for cashier`s check. Once the check goes trough you are good. If customer pay with cash again go to the bank together where you can deposit the money. In this case you will know for sure if the bills are real and not fake.
  7. DO NOT FALL on sob stories. People will come to you trying to get the car for cheap and will use all kind of sob stories to do it.
  8. Be honest when you are selling your car! Do not hide any damage during the initial call with every buyer nor mechanical issue! Same for accidents or damages! Get a CarFax/Autocheck report. It costs only 40 dollars but will save you a lot of headache! If there is a damage on the carfax and it says moderate/heavy with multiple sides of the car damaged do not downgrade it to "Oh it was only a scratch on the door I don`t know why CarFax says this". People are not stupid. Also they will bring the car to their mechanic and this guy will find what the real damage was so that customer will run away from you and if you are listing your car on Facebook this customer can even comment there and make sure that you never sell the car. The power of the internet is unlimited. Do not underestimate any repairs that need to be done on the car. People are sick of hearing the " It needs a water pump but its a cheap fix - 100 dollars for the part" or "It has a couple minor dents that will cost you $100 dollars to fix if you want" when actually the reality is that the water pump will cost close to 1000 with parts and labor and same for the "minor" dents that will turn to be a nice big 10" dent on your quarter panel with chipped paint that needs hours of body work and a new paint to prevent it from corrosion. Speaking of corrosion make sure that your car is not rusted! If the car has rust ANYWHERE make sure that you state this in your add or when you talk to your buyers.
Those are the steps that people fail to follow when they are selling their cars from my experience. I hope you find this post for useful. If you have any more questions please let me know! Will be glad to answer!
submitted by AvailableEagle3 to askcarsales [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 11:45 thirdgenapathy Violate my HIPAA privacy in class? Hope you didn't think your relationship was private.

When I was 16 I went to a special behavior class due to temperament issues and PTS problems. This was very private to me and a result of ongoing home abuse as well as past abuse from other family, so not exactly public information I advertized. I had a teacher at the time who I will refer to as Ms.S. Ms.S had a huge ego trip and was very two faced. She would scream at anyone who disagreed with her and isolated students she didn't like having them sit alone or in a closet space with a desk. By disagree I mean anyone who didn't do the work perfectly the way she demanded (she taught math and sciences. If Ms.S couldn't follow your work or it wasn't the way the text book did it, even if it was correct or just a different method she tried to fail you or give 0's.)
You could tell when she got the SBH job she assumed she would only be working with disabled kids, but found out later her job was also to manage kids with emotional issues. See, Mrs.S could not for the life of her handle any children in her class who were independent and didn't attribute their success to her in addition to worshipping the ground she walked on. She was also very religious. My private issues set aside I had perfect grades and was friends with most people in my class. I rarely argued with anyone and kept to myself.
I'm naturally able to absorb massive amounts of information at a glance and remember it for long periods of time, so I blew through most of my work easily enough. Ms.S could not stand that I completed my work immediately and usually read for the remainder of her class, she was the "hand out work after a short lesson" type of teacher, so your work only lasted through the homework and classwork she gave you after her lesson. She had some issue with me reading when I was done. Her excuse was that other kids would read during class if I did, which was BS because she let everyone but me read when they were done. I was only allowed to read when everyone else was done, sometimes not even then. Other kids were allowed to read even if others were done, I was singled out. Some days she just kept my book even after class ended. So I started refusing to give her my book.
It started started an all out war. She on several occasions ripped my book right out my hand as I walked into the class or took it off my desk even when I wasn't reading. Literally snatched it out of my text book stack as I was walking even if I was using it to brace my grip, causing me to drop my books a few times.
In addition to this she would regularly shame me in class even though I was the highest scoring student there, always for simply disagreeing with her on how I did my math work (I always got the correct answer, she just didn't like my method.). Instead of attacking my academics she attacked me personally (mind you this was always in front of other students in my class in an attempt to humiliate me). This included comments about my relationships with others or my family.
She also did everything in her power to sabotage my transition back into mainstream classes. Needless to say I ended up bringing decoy books, backup books, leaving something gross in her desk once (I left a square of soft cheese in her desk before easter break that evolved into it's own ecosystem by the time we returned).
I decided that even if I get kicked from that school or class, she has to come to work to afford to live. Not only that, but I had filed complaints against her with the school board, so we kept having reps sit in on our classes to monitor her (naturally she started hiding her behavior and only acting horrible when they weren't there). So in my mind, she was not only at a disadvantage, she couldn't get away from me without showing weakness and turning the whole class against her (a lot of emotional issue kids with issues with authority). I also wasn't the only student she picked on, she was only ever nice to the developmentally disabled kids. I had seen her reduce classmates to sobbing or egged them on until they physically left the school so she could call the truancy officer. But she always made sure to tout her "I'm a GOOD christian" persona when her bosses or parents came to speak with her.
So I went on the attack. Around this time I was re-entering another group home so I decided I would simply openly defy her on anything I considered unreasonable because there was a camera present and she would have to provide proof and anything on her part that was not on the straight and narrow would definitely become an issue for my group home caseworker and the houseparents who handled my schooling (they were good people and changed my life a lot, including confronting her a few times before events came to a head).
About two months into my second year with her all hell broke loose and she lost. her. mind...literally. I came into class with my books as typical and she removed one from me as I came in. Now this was a day with no work because it was the end of a large assignment, at this point she was being a bitch for the sake of it since there was no real work to be done, just grading and presentation. The presentations were divided because my class of twelve was separated into learning levels. Since my group was last and none of the groups really interacted academically I decided to read while my friends spoke and the other learning level groups did their presentations.
So I sat down and started reading.. my backup book. She asked me to put it down and I said I would if she said anything worth listening to (this was after a year and a half of her humiliating and screaming at me, so I had lost all respect for her). Naturally she took my second book so out came my ACTUAL book. She fing lost it. She stared at me for maybe 5 minutes before she came for it. Only I was always much stronger than her and this book was hardcover, so I held on. She started dragging me and my desk around the room (wont lie, yelled yeehaw once to egg her on).
Eventually when she threw her entire weight into the pull & I let go and watched her fly away. Anyway when she stood up she started screaming about how my mother and grandmother hated me and this was why I was given up for adoption, abandoned in hospitals and group homes, because I was broken and nobody liked me (the end part was an indirect anti-gay comment).
Edit: since people don't seem to absorb this, the abuse that created a rift between my grandmother and I was enmeshed sex abuse that was hidden by her. My mother suffered the same thing and became a full blown drug addict who robbed my sister at gunpoint for crack money.
Now, this was too far for me and I knew entirely illegal. But I decided I didnt want her fired, I wanted to humiliate her the way she had done me for the last year and a half. What she didn't know was that I had a laptop and had snooped on her after reaching my wits end with the constant harassment, I was suicidal at the time and had finally just decided to fight back because the other option was death (this was in the days where teachers had myspace and didnt realize students could access it). She had no idea I could come back at her because this whole time even though I was fighting back, I wanted to not be my absolute worst self and avoided verbal confrontation where I could because I knew I would say awful things.
The whole class was watching and most were just shocked. So I hit her back with "so how does a racist, frankenstein looking b**ch like you date a hot black dude? Oh, you don't, that probably why he's fing your sister now. Understandable, probably hard for him to date someone he's too scared to ride in a car with. Maybe you could win him back with a banjo solo using your mouth bands". Offensive and over the top? Absolutely. But so is a 40 year old woman weaponizing things a suicidal 16-17 yo divulged in therapy in front of a class with emotional issues who will definitely try to bully him. That tidbit of her private life wasn't all. I gave everyone in all her classes her internet information and contact info. (remember I wasn't her only victim)
For the next two days we had a sub while Ms.S hid in the main office (it was attached to our classroom with a window) and setup a lesson plan for the rest of the year and then took a medical leave for mental health, admitting herself for the next 3 months. I found out the medical stuff from snooping her sister's myspace account. She deleted her own. The rest of that year was great. We got a substitute who was nicer than ms.S, didn't harass us and I started mainsteaming and moved into a better teachers class the following year. She came back for the last month of school and entirely avoided the class, leaving everything to the aide.
Edit: since some of the audience couldn't infer from my implied statements I clarified a lot in the post, reformatted it and further explained the situation.
submitted by thirdgenapathy to ProRevenge [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 11:24 Asmo41 Hey there my dear, sweet Mother...I wish so badly that we could communicate...I have no family, no friends... I'm now a single father of two boys, 8 and 3...And I'm failing them miserably. Just like I failed you. I feel so defeated... I can't even feel Heavenly Father anymore, Momma...What do I do?!

Dear Momma..
I'm sorry for writing such a terribly long message...I know it's long, but please please PLEASE read it! I need more help now than I EVER have in my ENTIRE LIFE...
I miss you so so SO terribly...I cry for you almost every single day... My wife makes fun of me constantly about it and says I need to grow up and "cut the cord already".... But I can't.. you were my best friend, the one who took care of me when nobody else would, you were my Mother...
I'm going through such a hard time here.... I'm completely alone.... How can I give your grandsons the lives they deserve? How? I feel so completely defeated. I'm a failure. A complete and utter failure.... And the saddest thing is that I actually miss "her"... My soon to be ex wife... The woman that took every single bit of heat, joy, soul, confidence, light, self-esteem, and motivation that I possibly had, and then ate it all for breakfast on her way out the door...
How do people do this? How do severely disabled people provide with such low income? Can't get approved for anything! Vehicle, washer and dryer, a credit card, NOTHING! I have countless medical bills and debt which I don't even understand because I have medicare and medicaid that cover almost everything...I just don't know what to do anymore mom...I miss you, I need you, I'm so alone.. I'm so sorry for failing you, for failing my wife, and for failing my sweet, Innocent, angelic baby boys...
One of the worst parts, I think, is lying in bed at night. Alone. With nothing but your brain to remind me over and over of just how much I've lost.
Forgive me for how I worded this Mom, I don't know why I did some in first person, some in third, I'm sorry.
Haunting me with memories of such wonderful, magical, special, emotional, and spiritual moments.... Especially one I'll NEVER forget. .We were holding one another's hand during the first appointment of the pregnancy...squeezing each other's fingers, kissing, grinning from ear to ear, trying to stay as quiet as we possibly can as the OBGYN runs the fetal doppler across the beautiful pregnant belly of the breathtakingly glowing woman whose hand your holding....
The woman that decided you were more than enough for her. The woman that knowingly offered up her body as a place for your child to grow... Despite knowing EXACTLY what the ravages of pregnancy does to a woman's body.. But none of that mattered.. Because to that woman, it was a small price to pay for even just the chance of an eternity of conflict and bliss with the ones she loved most in this universe....
In that moment , the seconds dragged on as the OBGYN moved the doppler back and forth over her belly... Back and forth... Back and forth... mixed with the painful prod from the pressure of the doppler and the occasional: "Hmmmm" or "Huh..." said by the OBGYN...I remember the look in her eyes when she asked: "Shouldn't we be hearing the heartbeat by now?" The doctor responded "Sometimes it just takes a little bit. Don't worry. You never know what crazy position they're in!" That gave us a little bit of relief, but not for long, because the dragging of time was back in full force and the seconds went on and on.
My wife looked up at me, and she couldn't hide the pain and fear she was feeling any longer when the tears streamed down her face.
I leaned in closely and told her: "Honey, everything is going to be alright...I promise you."
"And what if it's not though? ....What then? We were so damn childish that we didn't even think of this scenario! We just automatically EXPECTED everything to work out like we're in a Disney movie or something!!"
She started to cry even more. I leaned in, kissed her forehead, and I said: "No matter what happens... If the outcome is bad... We can't punish ourselves for something we couldn't control.... You can't blame yourself sweetheart... You are the strongest, bravest, kindest, most beautiful, most intelligent person I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon... And regardless of the good of bad, we WILL get through this. Together. Like we have when we've faced every other trial thrown our way. Depending on how things go, our hearts may be broken for a long long time, and may never be the same, sure, but you know what? You're not alone. I'll always be there. I wouldn't want to go through this trial with any other being in this entire universe, just you... Because "You...Are...The only exception..."
She was crying a different kind of cry now, and tears of joy mixed with the tears she had cried earlier, and with a big ol' smile from ear to ear she said: "You are so damn cheesy, you know that?" Then she laughed a little, and with a sigh said: "Together forever. No matter what. Eternal companions... You're my only exception." Then she kissed my forehead and giggled at the lipstick lips that were left behind... (She didn't tell me about that until we got home.... Now I know why everyone kept calling me "Lover boy" on our way out!)
It was almost like magic. As soon as she planted that dark purple smooch on my forehead, everyone in the room jumped out of their skin when they heard a loud noise that came out of nowhere!
"Woosh Woosh Woosh Woosh Woosh"
Everybody erupted into cheer and we felt blessed beyond measure, truly happy. It was honestly, blissful.
Flash forward a bit, and here we are 10 years later, and so much has changed...
First, we were blessed with two handsome little boys that have truly given us a run for our money in every. Single. Way. Possible. Lol...
And second,.... That beautiful woman that said I was enough for her, enough for all eternity... Became a completely different person. The stress of life, growing up too fast, childhood trauma, and religious pressures and ideation caused her to silently crack, and I didn't even have a clue.
I became extremely I'll and was practically bed ridden for months and months... And during that time, I watched my sweet sweet wife become a putrid shadow of her former self. If I needed to use the restroom, and would yell for help out of bed?... Ignored.... If i continued, and my yells turned to screams? She would yell "Ooooh just DIE ALREADY!!" As she sent our son to close the bedroom door. He would tell her no, but she would yell and force him to do it. So he would walk to the door with his head down low, and whisper: "I'm sorry Daddy 😔"....
She eventually started being gone a lot. Refused to say where she was going, with who, why, or even if she would be back. She also refused to give me a copy of the apartment key, so I couldn't go anywhere even if I did feel well enough...She would constantly have my SUV, and would leave me without a vehicle, so it's not like I could get anywhere anyways... And even if I wanted to? My measly disability check I received every month was gone to rent, utilities, and internet almost as fast as it was deposited. So I never had a penny to my name. She would pay the phone bill, and was SUPPOSED to buy groceries, but instead she would eat out before coming home and then go straight to bed.
We loved it when she was gone.... But I stupidly would miss her too. We would all get excited to when she would walk through the door... Only to be instantly disappointed by her rudeness, cruelty, and lack of any empathy whatsoever. Things only escalated from there...I eventually was starting to get my strength back, and was able to get up and down myself. If I would venture out of the bedroom to eat, get a drink, basically do anything, I would hear: "Hmph...So you haven't killed yourself yet?!" Without even looking up from her hourly scrolling of Facebook. "You know that nobody would miss you, right?"...
To which my poor son, who sadly was sitting right next to her, would say: "THAT'S NOT TRUE!! I WOULD!!!!"
She'd continue ...."Honestly, you'd be doing us all a favor!"
Then it turned into throwing things, like a butter knife at my face, just completely randomly as she was walking away...I wasn't even saying a word, just sitting and eating my cereal...kicking my legs, elbowing me, punching my stomach or chest, and my absolute least favorite two - punching my throat and punching my groin....I hated that so much... Andevery. single. time. She'd say: "OOOOH GET OVER IIIIIIT!!!!" "Are you sure you even have a set of balls down there for me to hit, anyways?" or "I used to watch my brothers do that to each other Constantly like it was a game or something, and I NEVER saw any of them bitch out like you do, lol!!!"
Honestly, throughout the last 4 years of our marriage, there's just way too much to say... She got admitted to the psychiatric unit on hold, then she ran off in the middle of the night with our oldest because I confronted her about missing money, all of my doctor's and therapists reporting her for àbuse to a vulnerable person and me STUPIDLY lying to them about everything so she wouldn't get in trouble because I didn't want the boys to lose their mom...Her attempting suicide by overdosing on medication and my oldest being the one to find her....
When she recovered, she told me: "Do you even know why I did it?...I wanted the boys to find me. I wanted them to find me so that they would blame you for killing their mother, effectively destroying your relationship, resulting in them HATING you for the rest of their lives!!"... That one blew my mind....I didn't even know how to respond other then by telling her she was a selfish little girl.... That she didn't deserve to be a mother, that she was rotten to her very soul, and to stop destroying the mine and the boys lives and GET SOME HELP!".... Little did I know my oldest was right there standing in the hallway, listening to every single word we said, and I didn't know it... And no matter what I've tried, he's never forgiven her since.
It got to the point where if I would try to bring up my issues, she would reply with: "What are you talking abooooout?...I would never do those things! That's just NOT who I am!!!" I would get so freaking frustrated because I know what I experienced, I know the complete HELL she put my boys and I through for years... She would say:
"Hmmm If you keep saying things like that, I'm going to have to call your doctor and let them know that you're imagining things.... Because that's just not healthy at all and I don't want you being a danger to yourself or to the boys and I."
I would beg and plead with her: "Why are you doing this to us?!? To me?!?! Do you hate me?!? What have i done to you to deserve this?!?" Once she said: "You exist. That's what you've done." And sometimes she would say: "Oh boo hoo...I can't believe I married such a sensitive little woman... Buck up bitch tits!"
She started something knew within the last 2 years. I think it was because she felt threatened. That's why she said "Do I need to tell your doctor?" Too because she was inadvertantly trying to threaten me. She would randomly start these AWFUL awful arguments by randomly doing awful things.... And then she would talk terribly to me, wait for me to retaliate, and then right before I did, secretly turn her phone camera on and record me. I knew something was up because her entire tone and demeanor would become so sweet and scared.... Who does things like that?!?
I eventually broke down and lost my will to live. I believed her that it was all in my head. Why would my sweet wife do something like this to me on purpose? Everyone I tried to tell and beg for help, had flat out told me: "What?... Are you serious right now?... There's just no way. Knock this off, right now. There's two in a marriage, take some of the blame yourself!" or "That's not the woman I know. That's just impossible... I'm going to be honest and let you know that I don't believe you. I believe that you may THINK you were abused, but yeah... Everyone knows she is just not capable of anything even remotely like that....."
These were SERIOUSLY my OWN friends and family... Do you realize how badly it hurts when your own brothers and sisters have stopped talking to you because your abusive wife has convinced them that your crazy and that she is "Working SO hard to take care of him, AND this family and household.... But it's just do difficult and I don't know how much longer I can do it! But I know... That God provides a way....God will give me strength."
When I heard her say that...I wanted to vomit in my own mouth. One day, something happened that was the final straw.
She had failed to yield and completely totalled my SUV....I was grateful that I had full coverage and could use the check from the price of the vehicle to get me another one... Well, weeks go by and I ask if she had heard anything..."No I haven't. Sorry." And that was that. I would try to check her card and she would get mad at me and be really secretive.
One morning, I called the insurance company and then had told me that the check had already been made out and deposited... But for some reason into HER ACCOUNT!!! So, I had to talk to her about it... And I didn't want to. At all. I decided to log into her banking app to check, and sure enough.... Not only had she gotten it and deposited it, but she had blown almost all of it to.... Within two weeks!! Oh! There's our income tax return deposit I've been looking for!!! Thousands and thousands that could of been used to better our lives, better our family... GONE!! All for nothing more than fast food, eating out with friends and treating them, clothes, makeup, and taxi rides because she "didn't feel like walking"....
Well! Now it was time to be a big girl because BILLS WERE DUE!!! And I was planning on using some of that money FOR bills, or else I wouldn't of used my monthly disability check to pay off random debt and payments because I was trying to build our credit score... And of course I hear: "You said I didn't have to worry about anything like that! So it's not my problem, you figure it out!"
Of course I got angry, of course I yelled, and of course I felt bad about it... My oldest came and gave me a hug and then said he was going to give his mommy a hug too and so I followed him into her room and watched him go to give her a hug, and that's when I watched her proceed to punch him in the chest extremely hard, it looked like with all her strength, while yelling; "I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!"
I of course yelled at her, grabbed my son and corded her door. When he had caught his breath and stopped crying....I looked at him and I realized that I was just as much to blame for ALL of this.... Not only that, I was enabling her to put my son's in harm's way.... It was just like I was doing all of this myself... I'm not saying I'm innocent completely... But.... I think I'm finally starting to see that I didn't deserve all of this....a lot of it I did, but not ALL OF IT...I got very sick and wasn't able to give her and the boys the lives they DESERVED....I was no longer bringing in money, and all the stress went onto her shoulders...
When we found out that I more than likely would never be able to work again, all her dreams of a bright future went up in smoke... White picket fence included... And she cracked... By marrying her, I agreed to provide for her and our future children... When I suddenly couldn't, she completely resented me and hated me for the fact that she no longer could be around the boys......
She never had much of a mothering instinct anyways though.... The first week of each of the boys births, they ended up being cared for by me and slept in my arms until they were old enough for their own beds. My youngest doesn't have an attachment to her really at all... When he was born, she would get so angry during breastfeeding because he would detach and make a mess... Well, it was because he was "tongue tied". She would get upset and push him away quickly, do this weird slapping thing on his forehead while saying "No no no no!" And then leave him there to scream, refusing to breastfeed him and would say: "This is MY body!!! NOT HIS!!" she would refuse to pump at work because it was "too much work and too embarrassing!" "I feel like a cow!" So what she would do is feed him all night, but not in the day.. and if I even brought up supplementing with formula, she would turn into a raving banshee and say "I'M NOT A BAD MOTHER!!!" over and over before slamming the door behind her. That night we waited for her to go to sleep to feed the baby, and my oldest and I devised a plan.
The baby was now lethargic, not crying as much, not crying tears, and not filling diapers like he should. Unacceptable. My oldest and I called a cab and snuck away to the store. We purchased multiple bottles, nipples, and different types of formulas that the pediatrician recommended. Once home we found the PERFECT hiding spot, and we waited. The next day when she went to work, I picked my son up, looked at him in the eyes, and I swore to him, on my life, on my very soul, that I would NEVER allow ANYONE to hurt them again.... And guess what? After that day, he was aCOMPLETELY different baby....a happy baby boy. Gained weight, acid reflux went away, tears came back, filled his diapers, and I started just completely taking over with him. I wasn't going to let her hurt him again.
I had decided enough was enough. I decided to go to my Bishop (my local church leader) and tell him everything..... Finally... Someone believed me... He says he was there for me, and not to be scared...I couldn't stop crying... We decided to call her in and talk to her... And when we did, she refused to acknowledge anything... And I mean AAAANYYYTHIIIING! she told the Bishop: "I can understand how he could think he was abused... But honestly he's not only really sensitive... But his medical issues have made his mind just not where it should be"... Instantly my bishops whole demeanor changed and he no longer seemed like he really believed what I was saying... And I felt so freaking defeated...I couldn't believe it... In my next meeting with him, it was like he didn't believe me at all anymore. He is a really nice guy, don't get me wrong, but all of this is nothing more than "he said,she said" there's no way to prove ANY OF IT!!! And his wife happens to be friends with my wife, so of course things weren't going to go well for me...
A few days after that meeting, my oldest son ran into my room and said: " Dad, mom took us somewhere, to some place, and I had to listen to her lie about EVERYTHING Dad... I'm serious! Here's the folder if the paperwork they gave her." .. Well, it turns out, my wonderfuly kind and loving wife got scared after that meeting with our Bishop, and was scared she was going to get caught. So what did she do? She went to the one place she knew she would instantly be believed no matter what..."CAPSA", which stands for "COMMUNITY ABUSE PREVENTION SERVICE AGENCY"
It's a wonderful place that helps people in domestic violence situations find help. Shelter, help with restraining orders, therapy etc. As I was looking through this folder, my son tells me: "Daddy, I'm not even kidding you... Mom told them that everything she has been doing to you, me, and little brother..., that it was YOU doing it to MOM, me, and little brother instead!!!! She cried and told them all of that stuff daddy!! Why would she lie like that?!"
I was wanting to say that I couldn't believe she would do that... But honestly, I could....I called her out on it and why on the paper did the case worker quote my wife as saying: "I don't feel safe. I'm scared for myself!" And my wife couldn't believe I found that...she knew that she was completely willing to toootally screw me over royally with nothing more than a completely evil LIE and watch me burn for her sins.... And her reply?...:"oh! I have no idea why she wrote that! Because what I actually meant was that I didn't feel safe EMOTIONALLY And that I was scared for myself EMOTIONALLY....I don't know why she put that.."
I flat out told her that I knew exactly what she was doing. That she was a liar, and how could she do this after ten years....4 years of the boys and I dealing with her after she sold her soul to the devil....
So I did it. I told her I wanted a divorce and that she needed to leave. It was almost like that was what she was waiting for or something... Because two months later, I went to take a nap with the boys, any when we woke up, she was gone.. And she had completely destroyed our home... Took the washer and dryer, and left me without any way to EVER afford to get one, left me without a vehicle and any way to EVER afford to get one.... You can't get one on disability anyways because they can't garnish disability if you default your car payment.... Anyways, she just destroyed everything.... Spilled moldy rotten water all over the carpets, had all of her friends and family come help her and let them keep their dirty shoes on... Left trash EVERYWHERE old dirty clothes EVERYWHERE... And everything was just tossed from here to there in random places... It was just disgraceful...I was embarrassed...
Then I had to hold my oldest son as he cried himself back to sleep because his mommy didn't even say goodbye....a week later she came back to get the boys for visitation....I tried calling the police, but they said that she has just as much right to them... So she came up with a schedule that made it 60/40 me 60% of the time on her work days, and her 40% of the time on her days off.... Within a month she had changed it multiple multiple times... And that's when my oldest started locking himself in the bedroom when she came to pick them up, and screaming that he didn't want to go... And my youngest would start screaming crying and saying: "NOOOO! THIS IS MINE HOME! I DON'T WANNA GO TO MOM'S HOUSE! MOM HIT ME BAD! REAL HARD LIKE UGH! UGH! UGH! AND SHE SAY "YOU GO TO BED LITTLE BOY!" AND HIT ME UGH! UGH! UGH! " (that's him fake hitting himself everywhere she does)
One night my wife had called to talk to the boys, and she wanted to know why my oldest said he didn't feel safe with her... And he told her why and he said "Mom... We just can't live with you... We just can't. We're not happy... At! All! This is our home, here with Daddy. Just Daddy, me, little brother, and Pupperoni..(My service dog lol) She got upset and kept pushing it and he said he was going to hang up on her. I told him not to do it, but she interrupted me and said "NOOOO NOOO IT'S OK! IT'S FINE! IF HE WANTS TO HANG UP ON ME THAT'S FINE! THAT'S HIS RIGHT! IF THAT'S HOW HE FEELS, THEN HE HAS MY PERMISSION!" "BUT I JUST WANT TO LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH I LOV---click"
He had hung up on her and said: "I just don't want to hear her anymore. I'm done with her. She is a big liar. She lies to everyone!!! It doesn't matter if it's her friends OR family... She doesn't care....All she wants to do is start fights, play on her phone, see her friends, and hang out with her boyfriend (There is this guy she's been "friends" with since the end of 2019. She says that she has just been helping him through a hard time after his divorce, but she started staying out late with him, picking him up from bars, texting Constantly, movie dates, babysitting his daughters at his mother's house, becoming best friends with this guy's mother, and even inviting him to our youngest son's birthday celebration instead of even TELLING ME and keeping it A COMPLETE secret from me... Shady stuff)
The next day, she was supposed to pick the boys up to take them to a Halloween activity. She text me that morning saying: "You go ahead and have fun with the boys. I suggest taking them to that Halloween activity they will like it a lot. I'm going to give our oldest son time to sort out his feelings, and it will give me time to sort out mine too. The last thing I want to do is make him upset."
I knew this was going to break his heart... Because he was going to use that time to let his mom know how he felt in his heart about everything and hopefully start a new chapter with GOOD feelings GOOD energy.... So I tried to contact her aaaaall daaaay... No replies....I even said that I would pay for a cab to pick us up, go to her apartment to pick her up (so she could get a break from driving) and then go buy hot coco and treats, then head to the Halloween activity!... But still no reply...I tried telling her how heartbroken the boys were going to be... No reply...
So finally around 8 at night, 8 tried calling again and she answers...She has a completely monotone voice and is being rude, short, and bitter... So I ask her what the heck is going on and the boys are waiting for her and we SO EXCITED and she was going to break their hearts!... And her response?: "oh really?... Good for them....I don't care! Nobody cares about MY heart breaking!....(I then said let's just all go, or I can stay home, and I'll pay for everything if she will just go with the boys, I don't want their hearts broken any more, they've gone through WAY.TOO.MUCH.!!!) Ummm.... Did you NOT understand my text?.. No thanks!... I'm busy anyways. I'm out having a good time for ME!"
I end up just wanting to hang up, but before I did I said: "You do realize that you are severing the very last threads of attachment that those two boys have for you, right? I've told you A BILLION times before, the court will NOT give you any custody if you do not become a team player, and try to give the boys as much of a normal family life as we possibly can... If you keep this up, keep fighting me every step of the way, keep fighting to make it so when you have the boys I basically don't exist, then the court is going to frown on that!! They will see that you are, and always have been, looking out for yourself only!! You are their mother, yes, but I am their father! The both of us will always be in each other's lives until one of us dies, but until then, we're stuck with each other!"
Then she says: "Oh yeah? No no no, it doesn't work that way... See, I want to be in their lives, but I want YOU OUT of ours COMPLETELY!!! I just haven't quite figured out how to do that yet... Thanks for the heads up... No really...I appreciate that! Can I go now?..."
I started to tell her not to call back until she can be kind to her son's and stop breaking their hearts... But she hung up on me. Of course, my sneaky oldest boy had snuck in and heard everything, and he was crying...I apologized for him not being able to go to the Halloween activity and spend time with his momma.. And he says: "No daddy, it's not that at all... Yes i wanted to take little brother, yes I was wanting to talk to mom... But that's not why I'm crying.... I'm crying because I'm tired of this and I'm tired of her. Every time we start to get happy and finally fell peace around here, she does something like this!... We're never going to feel at peace are we daddy? She's always going to be doing something like this isn't she? She's always going to keep coming after us, threatening us, threatening to take us away from you somehow without a care in the world how she does it! She'll lie about any little thing! And now it sounds like she might do something crazy to you or us! You know how I keep having that nightmare that she's gonna kill all of us and then herself!!"
I just hugged him, kissed his forehead, and told him that no little boy should ever have to see, hear, feel, think about, or experience ANYTHING like this, EVER!... And that from now on, I want him to promise me he won't sneak in to hear... he promised ...and we went and had a big cup of hot coco with baby brother, watched a Halloween movie, then went to bed. She hasn't called or came to get them for the schedule ever since... She has left two little voice clips on Facebook messenger saying that she loves the boys....
I just feel like I'm about to have a heart attack... I'm so so so so SOOOOO stressed out!! I'm scared she is gonna do something dangerous to herself or to us! I'm scared that she's plotting something crazy! I'm scared she's planning something , manipulating something, lying about something in order to get the boys and get custody of them!!
She knows that I don't have their car seats because she has them, so she knows I can't take a cab anywhere.... She knows I can't drive anywhere because she totalled my vehicle and her friend just gave her one...I don't even have a washer or dryer so that my boys can have clean clothes!!!! I have cerebral palsy, and a multitude of other issues and can't walk long distances at all, especially with a 3 year old, also I am immunodeficient/immunocompromised whatever it's called lol, and so I can't really do "much" as far as leaving the house goes...
I spent the last of my money on getting groceries delivered after I paid bills... My phone is through xfinity mobile and is in my wife's name, but it just got shut off today because she didn't pay the bill, and they refuse to let me transfer the phone over to my own account to keep making payments to pay it off and then just have my own phone bill added to my internet account...I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT HALLOWEEN BECAUSE I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER!!!! Ugghhhh and I don't have money to get my sweet boys costumes....I have absolutely ZERO idea on what to do to protect myself and protect these boys, or what to do to make it so she can't take them away, or what to do to make it so she can't lie anymore and get away with it....
How am I ever going to do this? I'm a disabled single father of two boys, 3 and 8 years old...I make $617.00 a month to survive on. I can't afford a safe, reliable, lasting vehicle that can carry a car seat, booster seat, my wheelchair, and I (that's why I had an SUV), and nooooow I have to completely buy a new phone and get new service because since this phone is still on payments, it's going to get blacklisted and can't be transferred and they won't allow me to continue to make payments....I have no way of getting to my medical appointments and getting important procedures done because I no longer have my vehicle, and honestly...I have zero friends, zero family, and I am.. Well .. Just...I am justcompletely and utterly alone....
I miss my best friend... You...I miss you Mom... You would know exactly what to do.... I'm sorry I've let you down... I'm sorry that you can't look down on me and be proud of what I've done, what I've accomplished... Because I haven't done or accomplished anything other than ruining a young woman's life, and bringing two beautiful innocent souls into this world that I can't give the best possible life to.... I'm so sorry, please forgive me 😔
submitted by Asmo41 to MomForAMinute [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 10:04 InternetFreedomIn Watch the Watchmen Series Part 5 : The Personal Data Protection Bill, 2019

Watch the Watchmen Series Part 5 : The Personal Data Protection Bill, 2019

https://preview.redd.it/3setfuntwsv51.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=06c69280097017fd21f4df8af7906c3d4b9dab93

tl;dr

Over the last couple of weeks, we have taken a closer look at the various surveillance technology projects that the Government is slowly putting in place. Now, we talk about why we should all be extremely worried. While this may sound alarmist, the lack of laws which would protect our privacy and from surveillance is one of the biggest causes of alarms in India’s near future.

Why should you care about privacy?

In our previous posts in the “Watch the Watchmen” series, we have highlighted various projects that the government is developing and deploying that would enable it to strengthen the internet security structure of the country. These projects include the NATGRID, the CMS, the CCTNS and the AFRS.
The aim of the Government behind the introduction of these projects is to ensure that a higher level of coordination can be achieved between the intelligence agencies at the Central level and the law enforcement agencies to ensure that terror threats are neutralised swiftly and criminals can be apprehended easily.
While these concerns do come across as valid, the cause for alarm surrounding these projects is much simpler. These projects are problematic simply because India does not have a data protection regime in place to ensure that the privacy of its citizens is not compromised or violated by excessive interference or surveillance by the state.
Here, it is also important to understand that the right to privacy is essential and has been reaffirmed as a fundamental right in the landmark decision of the Hon’ble Supreme Court in K.S. Puttaswamy v. Union of India (2017 10 SCC 1). The right to privacy is not only relevant to those who may want to hide wrongdoing as has been the narrative but is important in various contexts, for example, to ensure that one is not discriminated against on the basis of belonging to a particular religious or social group or due to one’s political ideology.

The Draft Personal Data Protection Bill, 2019

The Personal Data Protection Bill, 2019 was touted as the solution to all the personal data related problems currently existing in India. It calls for obtaining consent before accessing an individual's data, penalties for any violations of the law, setting up a Data Protection Authority (DPA), and that the personal data which is collected be stored in India. However, the Bill fails to safeguard Indian citizens against state sponsored surveillance.
The PDP Bill, 2019 provides broad exemptions to the government by stating that consent is not required to be obtained by the State which can exempt any government department by an order.
Clause 35 of the Bill empowers the Central Government to exempt by an order, ‘any agency’ of the government from all or any provisions of the data protection law if it is in the interest of the sovereignty and integrity of India, the security of the state, friendly relations, public order and to prevent incitement to the commission of an offence. The only safeguard is that the written order from the Central Government must specify the reasons for such exemptions, ignoring the requirements otherwise established in Indian and international law of meeting the test of being “necessary and proportionate”. These exemptions will not just apply to data gathered by such agencies, but also with any data that is shared with such agencies by other data fiduciaries. It puts the power in the hands of the Central Government and specifically makes it the judge and adjudicator of its own cause. Clause 36 of the Bill also creates specific exemptions in certain cases, to which no safeguards will apply. Clause 37 which is supposed to empower the Central Government to exempt the processing of data of foreigners by data processors is also vaguely worded. Most intelligence agencies of India suffer from a lack of institutional oversight and there are no laws clearly defining their powers or limitations to those powers. Further, there is the lack of any serious review of telephone tapping and other communications interception powers in the Bill. This will make personal data of citizens open to mass surveillance and make the protection meaningless.
The Bill was first introduced in the Lok Sabha by the Minister of Electronics and Information Technology, Mr. Ravi Shankar Prasad, on December 11, 2019. The Lok Sabha referred the Bill to the Joint Parliamentary Committee which invited comments/suggestions from stakeholders till February, 2020. (Read IFF’s comments here) While the report of the JPC is due in the upcoming winter session of the Parliament, the Bill is likely to be tabled in the next year's budget session.

The Schrems II Dilemma

On July 16, 2020, the Court of European Union (‘CJEU’) passed a landmark judgement in Data Protection Commission v. Facebook Ireland, Maximillian Schrems (‘Schrems II Decision’). The Schrems II Decision produced shockwaves for the practice of commercial transnational data transfers of personal data originating from the European Union (‘EU’) and being transmitted to a non-EU country, such as India. Under the EU data protection regime, data transfers are conducted pursuant to the European Union General Data Protection Regulation (‘GDPR’), in conjunction with the Charter of Fundamental Rights of the European Union (‘Charter’) and several other directive and regulations. Chapter V of the GDPR allows for transfers of data outside the EU through three different modes, provided that the receiving countries were determined to provide adequate privacy protections for the same. First, an adequacy decision may be passed by the Data Protection Commission as to the existence of adequate privacy protection within the domestic legal framework of the receiving country. Second, an agreement to provide adequate safeguards, accompanied with enforceable data subject rights and effective legal remedies for data subjects. These may take place between two public authorities, such as in the case of the EU-US Safe Harbour or Privacy Shield, or between the sending and receiving data processors, such as in the case of Standard Contract Clauses (‘SCCs’), or between affiliated companies within a single commercial enterprise, such as in the case of Binding Corporate Rules (‘BCRs’). Third, derogations, or exceptions, to the requirement of either one of the above may be availed in specific circumstances.
The CJEU, in the Schrems II Decision, concluded three crucial findings regarding the transnational transfer of personal data from European Union:
A. The CJEU Confirms Extra-Territorial Application of GDPR for EU-Citizens’ Data
First, it held that the GDPR would remain applicable to personal data that has been transferred out of the European Union by one economic operator, or body corporate, to another for any commercial purpose, regardless of whether such data may be processed by the governmental authorities of the latter for the purposes of public security, defence and State security.
B. SCCs to Hold Validity Only if Underlying Framework Provides GDPR-Esque Data Protection
Second, it affirmed the validity of SCCs, provided that the level of data protection must be of a standard which is “essentially equivalent” to that guaranteed under the GDPR, read with the Charter. To this effect, The CJEU mandated the use of “other clauses or additional safeguards” in circumstances where the SCC itself failed to secure adequate levels of protection. These may cover, for example, the issue of law enforcement and access of personal data by government agencies. Additionally, respective Data Protection Authorities were under the obligation to suspend or prohibit data transfer to any third country wherein the aforementioned privacy safeguards, and alternative methods to achieve the same, were absent.
C. EU-US Privacy Shield Invalidated for Lack of Safeguard Against Government-Sanctioned Surveillance
Third, it invalidated the EU-US Privacy Shield on the grounds that:
  1. the United State surveillance regime, based on Section 702 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, 178 and Executive Order 12333 (1981), assumes primacy of national interest and law enforcement over the fundamental right to privacy by allowing the the sanctioning of surveillance with no apparent limitation, violating the principles of proportionality in so far as the same is not restricted by the requirement of necessity,
  2. the United States does not provide foreign data subjects with an actionable right against the Government for privacy breaches, under the Presidential Privacy Directive 28 (2014) and Executive Order 12333 (1981), and
  3. the United States legislative framework is inadequate in ensuring the independence of the judicial ombudsman, an authority established by the EU-US Privacy Shield and an undersecretary of state, and the requisite authority of the body to deliver binging judgments upon US intelligence services.

What this means for India?

According to Article 45 of the GDPR, the relevant inquiry into an adequacy decision involves an assessment of the rules and regulations applicable to data controllers and processors within a country. This also includes an analysis of the accompanying safeguards limiting the governmental access to foreign personal data. Per the Schrems II Decision, a like analysis would now be required for the operation of other modes of data transfer, such as Privacy Shields, SCCs, or BCRs. The recognition of the fundamental right to privacy in K.S. Puttaswamy v. Union of India (‘Puttaswamy Decision’) inducted principles of proportionality from Article 8 of the European Convention of Human Rights. Yet, without an underlying statutory framework, these rights lack remedial mechanisms that may be triggered by their violation. However, while the Personal Data Protection Bill, 2019 (‘PDPB’) remains to be passed, India exists in a state of limbo. Without a current standard of foreign personal data protection for all commercial operations, India does not qualify the criteria for an adequacy decision. Additionally, as has been highlighted throughout our “Watch the Watchmen” series, the citizens of India themselves do not have any strict protections from state surveillance which vitiates the question of protecting foreign data from surveillance as well. In such a situation, India stands to be outcast by being restricted to trade and offer services within the EU.
The Schrems II decision analysis included in this post has been done by former IFF intern Rohit Gupta.

Important documents

  1. Essential Features of a Rights Respecting Data Protection Law dated February 28, 2020 (link)
  2. Public Brief and Analysis of the Personal Data Protection Bill, 2019 (link)
  3. IFF’s “Watch the Watchmen” series on Surveillance Technology Projects in India (link)
Even during these uncertain times, IFF continues in its operations and working towards protecting your privacy and digital rights. Support us through one time donations or becoming a member with us. Donate now! internetfreedom.in/donate
submitted by InternetFreedomIn to india [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 07:31 Toratto There Will Be No Change

I don't typically post on reddit, but I felt I needed to say this in regard to the stuff about halo infinite. Not because I think it's going to change anything, but because it's true.
We are experiencing a rapid shift in the way companies market their products and manipulate their consumers. From the early 2000s to roughly 2016 there was a large 'boom' in new internet users - each of these users is also, obviously, a consumer, and thanks to this new connectivity all of these people were able to make their opinions heard. Companies were now immediately made aware of their audience's reaction when something is unpopular (Horse Armor, Mass Effect 3's ending, Sonic '06, etc.). Since this period of time these companies have felt the backlash. Pretty much none of them have reacted in a positive way (this is the games industry after all) but there was always a feeling in these companies of "Woah, these people are NOT HAPPY".
In recent years however things have changed. The gap in time is much smaller but there has been a major paradigm shift - companies have become aware of how lucrative it can be to engage consumers on their level. Wizards of the Coast does it with Magic: The Gathering. Digital Extremes does it with Warframe. Just today CD Projekt put out a little letter about how they're moving the release date of Cyberpunk 2077 again - go and read it, look at how it's framed. These companies want to be your friend so they can make money off of you. But this is nothing new, and I'm sure you've heard it before.
So I'll get to the part that's really sick. I like Magic: The Gathering, and I like Halo (that's not the sick part). Recently Wizards put out the massively unpopular "Walking Dead" tie-in, then absolutely went dark for days until the storm blew over. Now it's set in stone, and the community has moved on. This tactic, too, is not anything new. But the aforementioned part that should sicken you is that they are ALL going to do this. Every single company. Do you think Disney are going to be perfect angels with their new streaming service? Do you think google is going to be pro-consumer with stadia? THEY WANT TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF YOU. FOREVER. Who do you think is buying the data that google, facebook, apple and others are selling? You can be damn sure Microsoft is, in addition to their own spyware and algorithms. They're too big not to. They want to understand you now so they can respond appropriately. If you see through the corporate BS, there are a hundred people who won't, and they KNEW you didn't buy it - but a hundred other people did, so that's fine!
Your rage will eventually subside, and for each of you, those other hundred people will pick up the slack. Eventually you'll even die, and the children who have grown up in the dystopia of american consumption will take over.
The ultimate cause of this, I think, was Gamergate. I used 4chan back in the day, and later 8chan. I never fell in with them, or the Trump people afterwards, but I was definitely aware of it, everybody was. The connection here is the aftermath. GG petered out after a few months, and ever since it happened anyone who complains or has a problem with something is written off as an entitled manbaby "nerd". The ability to criticize is largely a privilege of the intelligent, so the unintelligent are delighted to hear that it is now unpopular to criticize. This behavior is an essential crutch for any aspiring consumer to belittle you, lest they have to think. Can you imagine anyone in real life giving a shit about microtransactions in halo? I mentioned the Walking Dead MTG tie-in earlier, do you think anyone cares about that? The latter two are obviously still BAD, but if no one cares why should anyone change? The end result is the same - you will never be listened to. Microsoft probably hasn't even had to adjust the release date, in fact they made sure to account for the character customization outrage when they picked it. The only reason we're hearing about it now is so it doesn't taint release day.
I wonder which company will be the first to connect their consumer data to machine learning? That way you could have an AI that would know its customers so well it would basically read their minds. Then the AI could be your PR figure, you could even get it a twitter account with a picture so it looks like a real person. And then all the companies would do that, as soon as it worked.
Yeah, that wouldn't be dystopian AT ALL.
submitted by Toratto to halo [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 07:04 RubyWoomy the entire wikipedia article for rick rolling

Rickrolling

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaJump to navigationJump to search"Rick Roll" redirects here. It is not to be confused with Richard Roll.📷A still frame from the music video of the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley on YouTube, taken in 2008.
Rickrolling, alternatively rick-rolling, is a prank and an Internet meme involving an unexpected appearance of the music video for the 1987 Rick Astley song "Never Gonna Give You Up". The meme is a type of bait and switch using a disguised hyperlink that leads to the music video. When victims click on a seemingly unrelated link, the site with the music video loads instead of what was expected, and in doing so they are said to have been "rickrolled". The meme has also extended to using the song's lyrics in unexpected places.
The meme grew out from a similar bait-and-switch trick called "duckrolling" that was popular on the 4chan website in 2006. The video bait-and-switch trick grew popular on 4chan by the 2007 April Fools' Day, and spread to other Internet sites later that year. The meme gained mainstream attention in 2008 through several publicized events, particularly when YouTube used it on its 2008 April Fools' Day event.
Initially, Astley, who had only recently returned to performing after a ten-year hiatus, was hesitant about using his newfound popularity from the meme to further his career, but accepted the fame when he rickrolled the 2008 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with a surprise performance of the song. Since then, Astley has seen his performance career revitalized by the meme's popularity.

Contents

History

Origin

"Never Gonna Give You Up" appeared on Astley's 1987 debut album Whenever You Need Somebody.[1] The song, his solo debut single, was a number-one hit on several international charts, including the Billboard Hot 100, Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks, and the UK Singles Chart. The accompanying music video, Astley's first, features him performing the song while dancing.[2] It since had become a popular song on the Internet, particularly after it was featured in the 2005 "Charlie Has Cancer" episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The use of the song for rickrolling dates to 2006, originating from the 4chan imageboard from an early meme known as "duckrolling". Sometime in 2006, the site moderator, Christopher "m00t" Poole implemented a word filter replacing the word "egg" with "duck" as a gag. On one thread, where "eggroll" had become "duckroll", an anonymous user posted an edited image of a duck with wheels, calling it a "duckroll". The image caught on across 4chan; the image would be the target of a hyperlink with an otherwise interesting title, with a user clicking through having been said to be "duckrolled".[3]
In March 2007, the first trailer for the highly-anticipated Grand Theft Auto IV was released onto Rockstar Games website. Viewership was so high that it crashed Rockstar's site. Several users helped to post mirrors of the video on different sites, but one user on 4chan had linked to the "Never Gonna Give You Up" video claiming to be the trailer, tricking numerous readers into the bait-and-switch. This practice quickly replaced duckrolling for other alluring links, all generally pointing to Astley's video, and thus creating the practice of "rickrolling".[3] The bait-and-switch to the "Never Gonna Give You Up" greatly expanded on 4chan on April Fools' Day in 2007, and led to the trick expanding to other sites like Fark and Digg later that year, quickly gaining the name "rickrolling" based on the prior "duckrolling".[3]
An initial use of "rickrolling" was confirmed by the editors of Know Your Meme, where rural Michigan resident Erik Helwig had called into a local radio sports-talk show in 2006 and instead of conversing with the DJs, simply played "Never Gonna Give You Up", leaving the DJs speechless. While this occurred before the 4chan use, Know Your Meme editor-in-chief Don Caldwell said there was no direct confirmation if it had inspired the 4chan use of the video.[4]

Growth in 2008

📷A Rick Astley impersonator during one of the March 2008 rickrolls at a collegiate basketball game
Rickrolling started to appear in more mainstream sources during 2008, with a SurveyUSA April 2008 poll estimating that at least 18 million American adults had been rickrolled.[5]
One of the first public events involved the Church of Scientology which had been aggressively trying to censor videos critical of the church. The Internet group Anonymous) as part of their Project Chanology to challenge this censoring, protested at the Church's various headquarters across the globe by chanting the song, among other activities.[6] A number of collegiate basketball games in March 2008 had people dressing up as Astley from the video and lip-syncing to the music as a prank before the start of the game.[7] YouTube's 2008 April Fools joke made featured video hyperlinks on the site's home page end up on the music video.[8][9] In April 2008, the New York Mets baseball team asked fans on the internet what song they should use for their eighth-inning rally song. "Never Gonna Give You Up" received a massive number of votes, driven by websites like 4chan.[10][9] At the 2008 MTV Europe Music Awards, an online campaign led to Astley being named the "Best Act Ever" despite not being on the original shortlist of nominees, effectively rickrolling the awards.[11]
📷Astley performing the song during the 2008 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
By November 2008, the "Never Gonna Give You Up" video on YouTube had more than 20 million views and was considered a viral video, however Astley initially appeared indifferent to the newfound fame.[11] When Astley was asked about the trend of rickrolling during an interview in March 2008, he stated, "it's weird," since he had not performed much lately, but he found the interest funny.[12] However, at the 2008 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Astley made a surprise appearance on a float) for Cartoon Network to lip-sync the song to the crowd and television audiences, making that performance the largest rickroll to date.[13] According to Astley, Cartoon Network had urged him to perform for the parade along with a large performance payment, and although he had been wary of trying to promote himself using the popularity of the meme, decided to go for it.[14]

Ongoing usage

In September 2009, Wired) magazine published a guide to modern hoaxes which listed rickrolling as one of the better known beginner-level hoaxes, alongside the fake e-mail chain letter.[15] The term has been extended to simple hidden use of the song's lyrics.[16] Cover versions of "Never Gonna Give You Up" have also been used as part of rickrolling; in April 2018, the creators of TV's Westworld) released a video that purported to be a spoiler guide for the entire second season in advance, but instead featured lead actress Evan Rachel Wood singing the song while accompanied by another main actress, Angela Sarafyan, playing the piano.[17]
The most popular upload of the music video[18] on YouTube from 2007 used for rickrolling, titled "RickRoll'D", was removed for terms-of-use violations in February 2010[19] but the takedown was revoked within a day.[20] It was taken down again on 18 July 2014.[21] It has since been unblocked again and has gained over 81 million views as of February 2020.[18] The Official Rick Astley channel uploaded another version[22] on 24 October 2009, which has over 760 million views as of September 2020.[23]
Its meme status led to the song's usage in the post-credits scene for Walt Disney Animation Studios's 2018 film Ralph Breaks the Internet, the sequel to 2012's Wreck-It Ralph. The song also appears in the film Bumblebee), and was featured at the end of its initial teaser trailer.[24]
On 5 January 2018, Paul Fenwick announced that he had started several Rick Astley hotlines, which when called, would play "Never Gonna Give You Up" along with several other artist's adaptations of it. Paul Fenwick advertised it as "You are encouraged to use them for paperwork, loyalty schemes, and general joy."[25]
By 2019, the popularity of rickrolling had diminished, however on 25 August, a notable large-scale occurrence happened at Petco Park in San Diego during a Major League Baseball game between the Boston Red Sox and the San Diego Padres—the first game that the Red Sox played at Petco Park in six years. During a mid-inning break, the Padres' scoreboard began to play "Sweet Caroline"—a tradition at Red Sox home games in Fenway Park—but the Red Sox were the opposition in San Diego. As the Neil Diamond song was about to reach the chorus, however, the video-board suddenly switched to "Never Gonna Give You Up", much to the amusement of the crowd.[26]
On 13 October 2019, the Sunday night NFL game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Los Angeles Chargers at Dignity Health Sports Park featured a case of rickrolling when the PA announcers, after a Chargers touchdown brought the score to 24-10 Pittsburgh, decided to troll the partisan crowd by playing the beginning of the Styx) song "Renegade)" (which had been played at the Steelers home Heinz Field since 2001) only to transition into "Never Gonna Give You Up". The stunt caught fans and players from both teams by surprise (even being acknowledged by the Steelers official social media accounts), and some Chargers players were not happy about the Steelers anthem being played in their own home stadium. The Steelers won the game 24–17.[27][28]

Reaction

📷Astley performing in 2017
In an interview in March 2008, Astley said that he found the rickrolling of Scientology to be "hilarious"; he also said that he will not try to capitalise on the rickroll phenomenon with a new recording or remix of his own, but that he would be happy to have other artists remix it. Overall, Astley is not troubled by the phenomenon, stating that he finds it "bizarre and funny" and that his only concern is that his "daughter doesn't get embarrassed about it."[29] A spokesperson for Astley's record label released a comment which showed that Astley's interest with the phenomenon had faded, as they stated, "I'm sorry, but he's done talking about Rickrolling".[3]
In November 2008, Astley was nominated for "Best Act Ever" at the MTV Europe Music Awards after the online nomination form was flooded with votes.[30] The push to make Astley the winner of the award, as well as efforts to encourage MTV to personally invite Astley to the awards ceremony, continued after the announcement.[31] On 10 October, Astley's website confirmed that an invitation to the awards had been received. On 6 November 2008, just hours before the ceremony was due to air, it was reported that MTV Europe did not want to give Astley the award at the ceremony, instead wanting to present it at a later date. Many fans who voted for Astley felt the awards ceremony failed to acknowledge him as a legitimate artist. Astley stated in an interview that he felt the award was "daft", but noted that he thought that "MTV were thoroughly rickrolled", and went on to thank everyone who voted for him.[32]
In 2009, Astley wrote about 4chan founder moot for Time) magazine's annual Time 100 issue, and thanked moot for the rickrolling phenomenon.[33]
According to The Register, as of 2010, Astley had only directly received $12 in performance royalties from YouTube. Although by that time the song had been played 39 million times, Astley did not compose the song and received only a performer's share of the sound recording copyright.[34] However, Astley denied those reports in 2016.[35]
dont ask why i need this
submitted by RubyWoomy to uwutranslator [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 06:55 myousername Men with an impossibly long list of "preferences" don't actually require a potential girlfriend to meet every single one, they just want the opportunity to devalue any woman who might date them, and an excuse to always keep one foot out the door looking for someone better

We've all seen them floating around the internet. Posts like this one where the guy has a ridiculously long list of (mostly self contradictory) "preferences"
In reality these guys are always desperate as fuck and would probably date any woman who showed even the slightest interest.
Now, I've personally never dated someone so stupid and socially inept enough to actually post something so pathetic on social media, but I have dated guys who expressed "preferences" and guess what! Those preferences were almost never aligned with how I actually looked.
When I was chubby, they wanted to date someone thin.
When I am fit, they want to date someone more "curvy"
When I was blonde, they said they preferred women with dark hair.
When I dyed my hair black, they say they prefer blondes.
I have light eyes, and they say they like brown eyes.
When I was 18-19 they admonished me for being childish and immature.
Now that I'm over 25 they say I'm over the hill.
And yet, even though I supposedly didn't meet their "standards" they continued dating me.
Hmmm... I wonder why.
The reality is that men are almost never actually that picky. Most will settle for literally any warm body if they are desperate and horny enough. The reason why they are so outspoken about their pREfeREncES is so that they can devalue any woman who doesn't meet every single "preference". So, basically every woman no matter how wonderful she is.
They'll tell you that you aren't their preference but that they love you anyways. Sounds cute, right? Lol nope. It's just a manipulation tactic meant to make you feel like shit about yourself, and worry that he might leave you for someone "better"
These guys have the mindset of an emotional abuser.
submitted by myousername to FemaleDatingStrategy [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 06:15 AlexWithItalics Avoiding dead-ends in conversation; a few advice pieces [PART 1: TINDER]:

I’d like to think I’m pretty extroverted. I don’t particularly find it difficult to make friends, though funnily enough most of my friends are introverts who do find it pretty difficult.
I’m no expert and I’m not claiming to be one, but I just thought I could share similar advice I share with my friends who struggle with deepening conversations (specifically, conversations that are pretty dry). This post is going to be based around introductions only and will probably need a part 2, because I’m not sure if these types of tips would actually help anyone, but let’s give it a shot!
  1. Introductions
Now, I can’t give an example for every single possibility, so I’m just going to give rough outlines on two examples. The first example, online. Let’s say you just matched with a girl/guy you really wanna talk to on Tinder. In fact, you wanna talk to them so much, you’re willing to make the first move.
The easiest thing to do here is to comment on something outlined in their bio. Maybe they’ve listed a hobby or movie you also like. “I love horror movies too! Which ones are your favourites?” Is an acceptable first message. Despite what a lot of people seem to think, you don’t always have to start a conversation off with a ‘hello’.
If they have a blank bio, it can be trickier. You can go one of two routes:
Hey, how are you doing?Hey, you’ve probably heard this a lot but your eyes are amazing. How are you doing? :)
The difference seems small, but another ‘how are you’ message alone just won’t spark most people’s attention. Throwing in a compliment or even an [ironic] pickup line can really boost those chances, gives the other person more to respond to, etc.
Now, let’s say they respond pretty dryly.
“Thanks lol I’m okay how are u”
Oh Lord, this is gonna be a tough one. Except it’s not that tough. If the person is interested, they will open up eventually; so long as you keep them interested.
Ask open-ended questions.
“You like movies? Which ones?”
When they answer your question, don’t respond with “oh that’s awesome :)”. Remember, you’re not interrogating them. It’s okay to talk about yourself too!
“I’ve never seen any of those, I’m gonna have to check them out! What’s ____ about?”
You know how you have those interests you could talk about all day? That’s what’ll keep a conversation with another person going. Dry conversations end with “oh, that’s cool :)” and longer conversations require actual interest.
T/N: “____ is about [insert vague plot here]”
Y/N: “Damn, it sounds like you have good taste in films. My favourites are _____”
When the conversation about films (or whatever else) is coming to an end, recognise it before it goes dry. By this time, you should both be at least slightly more comfortable/relaxed with each other already .
Y/N: “I’m gonna stop bombarding you with movie talk and change the subject since I do actually want to get to know you — do you believe in [astrology? Aliens? Conspiracy theories? God? Any open ended question can go here.]
Don’t be scared to let out a little flirtatiousness. Everyone has fun flirting! So long as you’re not being creepy or too forward about it, that’s what we’re all there for. Keep any flirtatious remarks extremely subtle at first and see how things go.
Feel free to PM me or comment on this post if you have any more specific questions.
If this wasn’t helpful, I’m sorry, I tried! This is just the same advice I give friends who I know struggle with similar issues.
Relaxation is the most important part of smooth conversation.
Good luck, guys! If this helped anyone, an upvote would be appreciated and I’ll write up a part 2 for in-person introductions. :)
Edit: guys, guys, guys. If you think this advice sucks, just don’t use it. I’m not a relationship guru, I’m a random guy on the Internet sharing tips on how I personally managed dates. You don’t need to write a long essay correcting me. If this isn’t how you’d go about conversing, that’s all good and it’s your business! These are just pointers that worked for me.
To everyone being kind, thank you and I’m glad it was useful to some of you.
submitted by AlexWithItalics to socialskills [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 20:58 MPOCH Asset Acquisition in the New Republic: Battling the Bots & Scalpers in Exclusive Preorders

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of comments and drama about preorders and instant sell outs. Increasingly, the hot, I mean HOT, items are exclusive to one merchant (Target, Walmart, Gamestop or Pulse). It’s really changed the game. I am not a scalper nor do I use bots to acquire assets. I have won and lost the online preorder game. Seen product evaporate in my cart sometimes, other times I’ve felt the thrill of seeing an actual order number appear accompanied by the celebratory words ‘You have completed your purchase’.
Here are some thoughts as what strategies I see for success and speculations on the capabilities of bots based on my experience with website testing for work, which uses some measure of automation. If anyone has experience with the reality of how bots work, I’d love to hear those thoughts. But most of all I want to make sure that every real collector knows what is necessary to succeed in this game. I’m convinced that there is a lot you can do as one person with a phone or computer to succeed and that the bot's/scalper's success is more a measure of preparation than technology.
As long as you are logged in (and have an account), have your credit cards info up to date, coupon codes stocked and your addresses correct...the bots barely have nothing on you. Bots are can automate pressing buttons..but they are subject to the same random latency issues in Internet connectivity as us. The real advantage is that all these scalpers have their accounts ready and active and are used to doing it. Any hesitation can lead to failure. However as a single collector, if you have your protocols tight, you're likely to win, excepting those random Internet latency issues.
If you read the stories here, usually there is something missing that slows down the process. If you need to open an account, type in an address or card info, or coupon code after the presale begins, that amounts to stopping to tie your shoe in the middle of a foot race. You are going to lose any race in which you stop to tie your shoes.
To beat the bots, prepare, prepare, prepare. You want to familiarize yourself with the screens in the checkout process so that you instinctively know what buttons to press. Do a dry purchase run with a product you don't actually want to buy, stopping right before the actual purchase. You will then see what obstacles are in the way. Get rid of any unnecessary steps, like make sure your address and payment is already there. Make it instinctual. This preparation will reduce your response time significantly and victory will be yours.
What tips do you have?
submitted by MPOCH to starwarsblackseries [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 20:07 NemoWatches Oblivious player is oblivious.

 This story takes place a long time ago, like, pre-“cellphone in every pocket” era. This may be a bit long. I was in my teens and I was hooked on playing D&D. Playing roleplaying games kept me out of trouble and also kept me from indulging in certain….habits. My regular group wanted to branch out with other games like World of Darkness and Shadowrun, but I truly loved playing D&D (2nd Edition at the time). I realized I could get my fix by joining another group at the local gaming shop. The owner told me there were two groups playing D&D and one was actually looking for people to join up. After making a phone call and some arrangements, I returned to the store to meet up with the group. 
The group was seven people:
The DM, a college student in his early 20’s. His group had split up, as they do, so he and his friend, Fox, wanted to create a new one. He was a very good DM who was an aspiring writer. He understood the concept of collaborative story telling way before most. He really wanted his players to help drive the story. He was a fast thinker and was able to adapt to change. He wasn’t the most original story teller, copying many ideas from movies and books, but his stories were fun.
“Fox”, another college student, early 20’s and the DM’s roommate. He played a Human ranger. Dual wielder build , think Madmartigan from “Willow”. Fox and the DM seemed to be old friends. Fox was very funny and quick witted. Tall guy with kind of a frat guy vibe to him, I felt like he was going to be an a$$h*!e, but he was more of a “laugh with you” versus a “laugh at you” kind of guy.
“Blue”, a young lady in her early 20’s, playing a Drow cleric. Drow were rare back then, but Drizzt was big and everyone was finding a way to play them. She had a solid backstory so I guess the DM allowed it. She was very bouncy and bubbly IRL, an absolute sweetheart of a woman but she role-played her character completely differently. A dark, pained exile from the Underdark who had critical knowledge about the BBEG of the campaign.
“Scratch”, the youngest in the group. A 14-15 year old kid who was very into D&D. His mom would drop him off. He was playing the mischievous rogue trope, a half elf thief. Not the most mature kid, prone to acting a little childish and bratty, but he would pick on when we were being annoyed and he was a talented player. Apparently he was a theater kid, so his parents thought this was great practice for him. Despite being closer in age to the older players, I tended to talk to Scratch more out of game.
“Bull”, a guy in his mid to late 20’s. Who claimed he worked as a bartender and acted like that was the pinnacle of “cool”. Would always have some story about a “girl he picked up last night”. Carried himself like he was a body builder, even though he wasn’t big or muscular at all. He was a massive rules lawyer. He would find any esoteric rule or optional rule to give bonuses to his character. Bull was a power gamer, playing an elven fighte “archer”. Had a very bad habit of interrupting people when they were talking. But he was funny and a good player. As much as he would annoy you, he could still make you laugh.
“Sapper” our oldest player in his 40’s playing a half-elf druid. I was initially a little weirded out that there was this older guy in the group, but DM and Fox apparently knew him for a long time. DM even referred to him as “Pops” every once and a while. He was an old school gamer who was the ultimate support player. He was the antithesis of “Bull” in that while he knew all the rules, he would be more helpful and remind the other players or the DM if they missed something. He rarely spoke about his personal life. He was a stocky, barrel chested guy.
And finally me. I was around 18 years old and I was playing an Elven mage. I had just started college and still living at home. I was a little oblivious to the world around me and I frequently missed cues and hints. I was the guy who would ask what’s going on while watching the same movie as you. (I’ve gotten much better.) When I played roleplaying games, I was able to focus on the game for some reason, so I really enjoyed playing. I felt I was my “best self” in game.
 Initially we were playing at the store, once a week in the evenings. It was loud, a little crowded, and…..smelly sometimes. There were multiple tables with Magic the Gathering players and a large Warhammer type game table with a bunch of older guys. The first game was supposed to last only two hours, but we were having so much fun and we stuck around until the owner kicked us out. The DM had us meet more organically in story rather than the whole “Stranger in a bar” trope. Everyone’s character had a personal stake in the outcome so every character could be engaged. Our game was going very well. The DM was talented and gave us some incredible action beats. We were progressing nicely and having a lot of fun. Well, most of the time. We had our problem player, Bull. Like I mentioned, Bull had no issue interrupting people and would sometimes step on other player’s turns or even the DM’s. He was the guy that would scream out an action just as the DM was explaining something. You know what I’m talking about? Like this: 
DM: “The Lord raises his scepter and….” Bull: “I shoot it out of his hand!!!!” Rolls “I got a 19” DM: “um, the scepter flies out of his hand. The guards train their crossbows on you. The Lord holds his hand and screams “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? I WAS GOING TO SIGNAL THE CHEF TO START DINNER!”
The DM would call out Bull when he would try to add all these weird bonuses to his attack rolls. DM and Fox caught on very quick to all these and the three would argue at length about where he found these and Bull would argue and wave around a legal pad full of notes about why he gets those bonuses. This is before the age of smartphones and the internet as we know it. Bull could never back up his claims and would only say things like “I found this in (insert module)” or in “a Dragon Magazine”. Many of his bonuses were redundant and didn’t make sense. It was annoying and Scratch pointed out to me that when Bull got too animated, the store owner would walk by and he would calm down. After the game, the owner would always pull Bull aside and talk to him if he had an outburst.
 One day, the group started talking about moving the game elsewhere. Apparently, there were a few reasons. First of which was Blue. Now, like I said, this was awhile back and female gamers were extremely rare. When the store was packed, there were only two ladies in the place regularly. Blue and an older lady who played Magic. Blue was a very amiable girl who was kind to everyone she met. Her personality was such that the guys at the store instantly thought she was interested in them. Hell, I thought the same thing for a bit, but I realized that her kindness was not flirting. The game was constantly interrupted by guys trying to talk to her. Well, after a while, one of the much older guys in the store started to pester Blue a little too often and the older guys had to step in. Secondly, Magic the Gathering was blowing up and the store owner wanted to limit our table top time to make way for more Magic gamers. Apparently, Magic made the owner more money. It also drew in younger folks, which made things more uncomfortable. They were louder and less respectful of other people’s space and property. One day, a kid just threw a soft drink across the room, missing his target, and landing on our map, wiping clean most of a battle. No apologies, no action from the owner. DM suggested we move the game to his house. We went around the table and we all, one by one, agreed to move the game to DM’s house. Sapper didn’t immediately agree, but after he and DM went outside to chat for a bit, he agreed. We left the store that night for the last time gaming there. I walked home while everyone else went to their respective cars. I saw DM and Sapper talking to Scratch’s mother, Scratch told me they were discussing the change of venue. 
DM and Fox lived in a fairly large guest house attached to a bigger house. Apparently, a cop lived in the big house because there was a police car parked in front of it. This made me slightly nervous, for…..reasons. When we walked in, their dining room had a large table and a large bookcase full of D&D books. This was a much more comfortable venue. We got right to the game and things were so much better. The privacy made us more comfortable and the role-play greatly improved. The players all started to affect voices and accents. Even Bull relaxed a bit and wasn’t quite so annoying. We had a lot of fun for a while. Our campaign saw our party teaming up to fight a Drow wizard who was trying to find an artifact of immense power. Blue’s character was the BBEG’s daughter and vowed to stop him from killing any more innocents. After a while, a love triangle formed between Fox, Blue, and Bull in game. Well…more like a love wedge, with Fox and Blue flirting and having moments and Bull trying very hard to win Blue over. I thought it was very entertaining and Scratch and I started to try to mess with Bull’s character via the old “notes to the DM” trick. Scratch would create fake love notes from Blue to Bull and hide them in his pack. I would cast an illusion to make it look like she was looking at him and checking him out. Bull would react or confront Blue and she would let him down, which would leave him slightly embarrassed and upset. One day, Sapper pulled the two of us aside one day and asked us to stop messing with Bull that way. I wasn’t sure why he said that, but I stopped. Can’t say the same for Scratch, though.
Then things started to get a little uncomfortable. Initially, Blue would ride in with Bull, because she didn’t have a car. I had asked if he could give me a ride too, but he said it would be too out of his way. (He lived two blocks away from me.) I was saving up for a car, so I had to bum rides or take the bus. After a while, Bull offered to give me a ride because “he” realized how close we lived together. When he picked me up, I saw that Blue wasn’t there. During our car rides, he would talk about how Blue was so into him and how they went out earlier in the week or she stayed over his house. When I finally asked why she wasn’t catching a ride with us anymore, he said he wanted to keep their relationship low key. I wondered why he would tell me then, but I didn’t give it too much thought. Blue would always be there before us. When the game was over, I would catch a ride home with Scratch’s mother because Bull would hang out afterwards at the house with the older guys and Blue. I couldn’t hang out because I had school or work early. I guess Sapper hung out with them too, because I never saw him leave. Scratch and I would talk about the game on the car ride home. While I would bring up what happened in game, Scratch would talk about what happened at the game. He pointed out that at the table, Bull would always try to sit next to Blue. Early on, there was a musical chair game every night with all the players shifting chairs. Eventually, Blue nestled between the DM and Fox and Bull would sit across from her.
Fox and Bull would get into arguments often. Fox would try to do something and Bull would spout rules, real world physics, or any other reasons why he couldn’t do that. They started to go at it until Sapper or DM would get them to calm down and move ahead. Bull would do his bonus thing where he would be in a tree, shooting an arrow at an enemy, and he would roll and call out a ridiculous number. DM would ask where he came up with the number, and Bull would start listing:
Weapon Specialist: +1 Dex Bonus: +4 Elf: +1 Master work bow: +1 Master work arrows: +1 Higher ground: +2 Sun behind you: +1 Taking time for the shot: +3 Elevated Position: +2 Hated Enemy: +2
 DM cut him off and said “Higher Ground and Elevated Position are the same thing, you aren’t a ranger, and I still want to see where the hell you are finding these BS bonuses. And I don’t even want to hear you say “Dragon Magazine”. Then we would have to wait 20 minutes for Bull to rifle through books and try to find (or pretend to find) where he found the bonuses. One time Scratch said, “You take the time to write down the bonuses, why don’t you write down where you found them so we don’t have to wait for you to find them. “ Bull, snapped at him and barked “F$&* you”! Sapper told him to calm down, that he was a kid. To which, Bull replied “You aren’t my father!” DM told both Bull and Scratch to relax or the game would stop. Bull calmed down and sulked when he couldn’t produce all of the extra bonuses. Blue tried to console him and point out he still hit his target, but he still acted upset. Things came to a head one day when in an earlier game, Blue was captured in game after she fell in battle and in the subsequent mission, the rest of the party went to save her. Despite Bull’s best efforts, Fox got to her first and had his swashbuckling, two sword flipping, and dashing rescue moment. He even got to scoop her up and swing on a rope to get her out of harm’s way with me sending a fireball at the enemies chasing them so they had an explosion to swing away from! They landed and had an in game kiss, which…they….also…did IRL. Fox, swept her up and laid one on her. Blue was definitely surprised, but she clearly reciprocated the kiss. My jaw dropped. Scratch immediately turned to Bull and blurted out, “OOO, that has to sting!” I saw Bull start shaking. He stood up and started screaming at the DM. “There’s no way he could do that. He killed like 8 guys single handed!” Scratch pointed out that He, Sapper, and I all helped or buffed him with spells or arrows. Even Bull shot and killed one of Fox’s attackers. Bull, knocked over his large soda as he was complaining, and Sapper immediately got up to get paper towels from the kitchen. Bull started in on Fox, claiming he lied on his initiative rolls and exaggerated his movement to get to her. DM said, “Fox rolls on the table in front of us, and we are tracking movement on the grid. There’s no way he could have cheated”. “BullSh*t! You are covering for him! You both are trying to make me look bad, you’ve been doing it all campaign!” Scratch interjected “You don’t need their help to look bad.” Bull screamed again “F&*% you, you little sh*t!” Fox admonished Scratch with a glance, but glared at Bull. Blue stepped in, “Bull, calm down, please.” Bull turned on her, “And you let him kiss you! Come on, let’s get out of here!!!” She said, “What? No, I’m …” DM spoke up, “Dude, you need to leave, now. “Scratch, who was smiling at the action, chimed in “Yeah, get lost, a$$h*!e!!” 
With that, I saw Bull’s hand reach into pocket, I pulled Scratch behind me in an act that, at the time, I didn’t understand why I doing it. Fox stepped back with Blue as DM moved around the table. Bull produced a pocket knife and turned toward DM as he flicked it open. DM pulled a chair in front of him and yelled something like, “DAAA!” Before I knew it, Sapper was rushing into the room. He grabbed Bull’s hand and twisted it hard inward toward Bull’s chest. I heard the knife fall and I saw Bull swing and hit Sapper on his ear. Sapper yanked Bull’s arm behind him and grabbed the back of his neck. He them slammed Bull on the table, (crushing some miniatures) and then slid him onto the floor. There was some wrestling on the floor and Fox and DM rushed over. I couldn’t see what was happening because I backed away and found myself in the corner of the room standing next to Blue. Scratch had slipped out to the other corner to watch the fight. I saw Fox pick up the knife and Sapper barked at him to put it on the table. Sapper then said to DM, “Go get my handcuffs, they are on my belt.” DM ran off through the back door and Sapper directed Fox on how to pin down Bull’s legs. He then told Blue to call the police. After hearing that, Bull stopped cursing and started saying “Ok, Ok, I’m good, I’ll just go. “ Sapper said “Oh, you’re going alright….” Bull pleaded with him, but Sapper kept him down until DM came back with a pair of handcuffs. Like real police handcuffs. Sapper puts them on him and stood him up. He searched him like a cop would and then commanded Bull to sit down in a chair. Sapper then looks at DM and asks, “You ok, son?” to which DM responds.” Yeah, Dad. “
My jaw dropped. It was like that scene at the end of “Usual Suspects”. As Sapper was asking everyone if they were ok, memories started flashing before me. I never realized just how oblivious I was. Here’s a list of revelations that hit me while I was standing there waiting for the police. 
First, Sapper was DM’s father. He lived in the big house. That’s why I never saw him leave. That’s why DM would sometimes call him “pops”, he wasn’t being insulting, he was just talking to his dad!
Second, the reason Sapper told Scratch and I not to mess with Bull, was that he was aware there was something wrong with Bull. I didn’t really pay too much attention to Bull when he would drive me to the game, but he talked a lot about how he and Blue had a relationship, I assumed he was telling the truth. I thought Bull was angry because Fox kissed his girl. Obvious to everyone but me, that wasn’t the case. Sapper was aware of Bull’s delusions and he asked Scratch and I to stop messing with him because he just didn’t want us aggravating the situation. Which brings me to the third thing.
Fox and Blue were actually and item! Scratch later filled me in that he figured out they started dating around the same time we moved the game to the house. Their relationship progressed to the point where they were spending the day together and he was taking her home. Or maybe she was staying there. Either way, that’s why Bull wasn’t driving her to game or home. It seemed that she was so nice that she didn’t want to overtly show off their relationship because she didn’t want to upset Bull.
Fourth thing…..Bull was bat crap crazy!!! He apparently was delusional. He truly believed he and Blue were in a relationship, despite all evidence to the contrary. After all this was done, we all sat down and they discussed everything that happened. Apparently, he been asking Blue out since they met and she had been letting him down, but she still was happy to be his friend. Recently, Fox had a conversation with Bull where he broke it to him that he and Blue were an item. Bull apparently told him he was still going to chase after her saying “Let the best man win.” Sometime after that conversation, Bull got it in his head that he and Blue had some kind of relationship. When he saw Fox kiss Blue, he truly thought Fox was kissing “his” girl. Which is why he snapped.
 Which brings me to the fifth and final thing. Sapper was a cop. He lived in the big house like I mentioned, and that’s why he was leery about moving the game to the house. He lived there with DM’s Step-mother and another son and daughter who was several years younger than DM. He told DM that they had to hold the games in the in the guest house where he was living with Fox. He also wasn’t too happy about having a minor come over but he and DM talked to Scratch’s mom and later to his father at length. I was always nervous around cops back then…..for…reasons…. but I realized that he was just a regular guy, a guy who was into the same things I was into. Well, ……..not everything I was into. 
So this whole internal revelation montage ended, when I heard the sirens of police cars. I was worried about where my backpack was…for ….reasons. They came in and started asking what was going on. Bull started screaming about how his father was a high ranking police officer from the next county over and how they had to let him go immediately. The police got statements from everyone, including me. They arrested Bull and took him away. We all were standing around when Fox apologized to everyone thinking that his actions caused all the problems. Blue apologized because she didn’t realize just how much Bull was into her. Scratch apologized because he thought his teasing pushed him over the edge. I apologized because I just didn’t realize how bat crap crazy Bull was and I never told anyone about his conversations with me. Sapper apologized because he knew we shouldn’t have let Bull play with us. He had a conversation with the store owner who told him that Bull was prone to fits of anger. The owner told him he had calmed down over the years after he suspended him from the store a few times. But the owner still saw that anger bubble out sometimes. DM finally spoke up and said it was his fault. He convinced his dad to bring the game here and allow Bull to play. He said he should have listened to his dad’s intuition. When all was said and done, we all agreed to take a couple weeks off so DM could retool the campaign since Bull’s character was not going to be there anymore.
Sapper, DM, Fox, and Blue went out to tell Scratch’s parents what had happened. She was shocked and according to Scratch, she needed those two weeks to be convinced to let him play at DM’s house again. I saw how upset she was so I didn’t ask for a ride. Sapper offered to take me home, but I politely declined…….for…..reasons and I took the bus. We started up again and DM stated Bull’s character fell during Blue’s rescue.
 Bull apparently showed up a day later to get his car. Sapper stood outside and watched him as he got dropped off and he jumped in without a word. Bull got charged and his family got him a great lawyer that got the charges reduced. I’m not sure if he served time, but I heard he got a ton of community service. We added and subtracted people to our group over the next couple of years we played together. Eventually, my original group started playing D&D again and I decided I would play with the two groups. Years later, I lost touch with Scratch, but through the magic of Facebook, I still talk to the old group. Blue and Fox dated for several years, but eventually parted ways and got married to other people. DM is living with his husband, (another thing I didn’t notice.) I’m actually still very close to Sapper. He was kind of a mentor to me and got me to drop certain…habits, and go into his line of work after I finished school. Now with the advent of online table top gaming, DM is putting together a reunion game using Fantasy Grounds. I’m really looking forward to getting to play with my old friends again. 
submitted by NemoWatches to CritCrab [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 20:06 NemoWatches Oblivious player is oblivious.

 This story takes place a long time ago, like, pre-“cellphone in every pocket” era. This may be a bit long. I was in my teens and I was hooked on playing D&D. Playing roleplaying games kept me out of trouble and also kept me from indulging in certain….habits. My regular group wanted to branch out with other games like World of Darkness and Shadowrun, but I truly loved playing D&D (2nd Edition at the time). I realized I could get my fix by joining another group at the local gaming shop. The owner told me there were two groups playing D&D and one was actually looking for people to join up. After making a phone call and some arrangements, I returned to the store to meet up with the group. 
The group was seven people:
The DM, a college student in his early 20’s. His group had split up, as they do, so he and his friend, Fox, wanted to create a new one. He was a very good DM who was an aspiring writer. He understood the concept of collaborative story telling way before most. He really wanted his players to help drive the story. He was a fast thinker and was able to adapt to change. He wasn’t the most original story teller, copying many ideas from movies and books, but his stories were fun.
“Fox”, another college student, early 20’s and the DM’s roommate. He played a Human ranger. Dual wielder build , think Madmartigan from “Willow”. Fox and the DM seemed to be old friends. Fox was very funny and quick witted. Tall guy with kind of a frat guy vibe to him, I felt like he was going to be an a$$h*!e, but he was more of a “laugh with you” versus a “laugh at you” kind of guy.
“Blue”, a young lady in her early 20’s, playing a Drow cleric. Drow were rare back then, but Drizzt was big and everyone was finding a way to play them. She had a solid backstory so I guess the DM allowed it. She was very bouncy and bubbly IRL, an absolute sweetheart of a woman but she role-played her character completely differently. A dark, pained exile from the Underdark who had critical knowledge about the BBEG of the campaign.
“Scratch”, the youngest in the group. A 14-15 year old kid who was very into D&D. His mom would drop him off. He was playing the mischievous rogue trope, a half elf thief. Not the most mature kid, prone to acting a little childish and bratty, but he would pick on when we were being annoyed and he was a talented player. Apparently he was a theater kid, so his parents thought this was great practice for him. Despite being closer in age to the older players, I tended to talk to Scratch more out of game.
“Bull”, a guy in his mid to late 20’s. Who claimed he worked as a bartender and acted like that was the pinnacle of “cool”. Would always have some story about a “girl he picked up last night”. Carried himself like he was a body builder, even though he wasn’t big or muscular at all. He was a massive rules lawyer. He would find any esoteric rule or optional rule to give bonuses to his character. Bull was a power gamer, playing an elven fighte “archer”. Had a very bad habit of interrupting people when they were talking. But he was funny and a good player. As much as he would annoy you, he could still make you laugh.
“Sapper” our oldest player in his 40’s playing a half-elf druid. I was initially a little weirded out that there was this older guy in the group, but DM and Fox apparently knew him for a long time. DM even referred to him as “Pops” every once and a while. He was an old school gamer who was the ultimate support player. He was the antithesis of “Bull” in that while he knew all the rules, he would be more helpful and remind the other players or the DM if they missed something. He rarely spoke about his personal life. He was a stocky, barrel chested guy.
And finally me. I was around 18 years old and I was playing an Elven mage. I had just started college and still living at home. I was a little oblivious to the world around me and I frequently missed cues and hints. I was the guy who would ask what’s going on while watching the same movie as you. (I’ve gotten much better.) When I played roleplaying games, I was able to focus on the game for some reason, so I really enjoyed playing. I felt I was my “best self” in game.
 Initially we were playing at the store, once a week in the evenings. It was loud, a little crowded, and…..smelly sometimes. There were multiple tables with Magic the Gathering players and a large Warhammer type game table with a bunch of older guys. The first game was supposed to last only two hours, but we were having so much fun and we stuck around until the owner kicked us out. The DM had us meet more organically in story rather than the whole “Stranger in a bar” trope. Everyone’s character had a personal stake in the outcome so every character could be engaged. Our game was going very well. The DM was talented and gave us some incredible action beats. We were progressing nicely and having a lot of fun. Well, most of the time. We had our problem player, Bull. Like I mentioned, Bull had no issue interrupting people and would sometimes step on other player’s turns or even the DM’s. He was the guy that would scream out an action just as the DM was explaining something. You know what I’m talking about? Like this: 
DM: “The Lord raises his scepter and….” Bull: “I shoot it out of his hand!!!!” Rolls “I got a 19” DM: “um, the scepter flies out of his hand. The guards train their crossbows on you. The Lord holds his hand and screams “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? I WAS GOING TO SIGNAL THE CHEF TO START DINNER!”
The DM would call out Bull when he would try to add all these weird bonuses to his attack rolls. DM and Fox caught on very quick to all these and the three would argue at length about where he found these and Bull would argue and wave around a legal pad full of notes about why he gets those bonuses. This is before the age of smartphones and the internet as we know it. Bull could never back up his claims and would only say things like “I found this in (insert module)” or in “a Dragon Magazine”. Many of his bonuses were redundant and didn’t make sense. It was annoying and Scratch pointed out to me that when Bull got too animated, the store owner would walk by and he would calm down. After the game, the owner would always pull Bull aside and talk to him if he had an outburst.
 One day, the group started talking about moving the game elsewhere. Apparently, there were a few reasons. First of which was Blue. Now, like I said, this was awhile back and female gamers were extremely rare. When the store was packed, there were only two ladies in the place regularly. Blue and an older lady who played Magic. Blue was a very amiable girl who was kind to everyone she met. Her personality was such that the guys at the store instantly thought she was interested in them. Hell, I thought the same thing for a bit, but I realized that her kindness was not flirting. The game was constantly interrupted by guys trying to talk to her. Well, after a while, one of the much older guys in the store started to pester Blue a little too often and the older guys had to step in. Secondly, Magic the Gathering was blowing up and the store owner wanted to limit our table top time to make way for more Magic gamers. Apparently, Magic made the owner more money. It also drew in younger folks, which made things more uncomfortable. They were louder and less respectful of other people’s space and property. One day, a kid just threw a soft drink across the room, missing his target, and landing on our map, wiping clean most of a battle. No apologies, no action from the owner. DM suggested we move the game to his house. We went around the table and we all, one by one, agreed to move the game to DM’s house. Sapper didn’t immediately agree, but after he and DM went outside to chat for a bit, he agreed. We left the store that night for the last time gaming there. I walked home while everyone else went to their respective cars. I saw DM and Sapper talking to Scratch’s mother, Scratch told me they were discussing the change of venue. 
DM and Fox lived in a fairly large guest house attached to a bigger house. Apparently, a cop lived in the big house because there was a police car parked in front of it. This made me slightly nervous, for…..reasons. When we walked in, their dining room had a large table and a large bookcase full of D&D books. This was a much more comfortable venue. We got right to the game and things were so much better. The privacy made us more comfortable and the role-play greatly improved. The players all started to affect voices and accents. Even Bull relaxed a bit and wasn’t quite so annoying. We had a lot of fun for a while. Our campaign saw our party teaming up to fight a Drow wizard who was trying to find an artifact of immense power. Blue’s character was the BBEG’s daughter and vowed to stop him from killing any more innocents. After a while, a love triangle formed between Fox, Blue, and Bull in game. Well…more like a love wedge, with Fox and Blue flirting and having moments and Bull trying very hard to win Blue over. I thought it was very entertaining and Scratch and I started to try to mess with Bull’s character via the old “notes to the DM” trick. Scratch would create fake love notes from Blue to Bull and hide them in his pack. I would cast an illusion to make it look like she was looking at him and checking him out. Bull would react or confront Blue and she would let him down, which would leave him slightly embarrassed and upset. One day, Sapper pulled the two of us aside one day and asked us to stop messing with Bull that way. I wasn’t sure why he said that, but I stopped. Can’t say the same for Scratch, though.
Then things started to get a little uncomfortable. Initially, Blue would ride in with Bull, because she didn’t have a car. I had asked if he could give me a ride too, but he said it would be too out of his way. (He lived two blocks away from me.) I was saving up for a car, so I had to bum rides or take the bus. After a while, Bull offered to give me a ride because “he” realized how close we lived together. When he picked me up, I saw that Blue wasn’t there. During our car rides, he would talk about how Blue was so into him and how they went out earlier in the week or she stayed over his house. When I finally asked why she wasn’t catching a ride with us anymore, he said he wanted to keep their relationship low key. I wondered why he would tell me then, but I didn’t give it too much thought. Blue would always be there before us. When the game was over, I would catch a ride home with Scratch’s mother because Bull would hang out afterwards at the house with the older guys and Blue. I couldn’t hang out because I had school or work early. I guess Sapper hung out with them too, because I never saw him leave. Scratch and I would talk about the game on the car ride home. While I would bring up what happened in game, Scratch would talk about what happened at the game. He pointed out that at the table, Bull would always try to sit next to Blue. Early on, there was a musical chair game every night with all the players shifting chairs. Eventually, Blue nestled between the DM and Fox and Bull would sit across from her.
Fox and Bull would get into arguments often. Fox would try to do something and Bull would spout rules, real world physics, or any other reasons why he couldn’t do that. They started to go at it until Sapper or DM would get them to calm down and move ahead. Bull would do his bonus thing where he would be in a tree, shooting an arrow at an enemy, and he would roll and call out a ridiculous number. DM would ask where he came up with the number, and Bull would start listing:
Weapon Specialist: +1 Dex Bonus: +4 Elf: +1 Master work bow: +1 Master work arrows: +1 Higher ground: +2 Sun behind you: +1 Taking time for the shot: +3 Elevated Position: +2 Hated Enemy: +2
 DM cut him off and said “Higher Ground and Elevated Position are the same thing, you aren’t a ranger, and I still want to see where the hell you are finding these BS bonuses. And I don’t even want to hear you say “Dragon Magazine”. Then we would have to wait 20 minutes for Bull to rifle through books and try to find (or pretend to find) where he found the bonuses. One time Scratch said, “You take the time to write down the bonuses, why don’t you write down where you found them so we don’t have to wait for you to find them. “ Bull, snapped at him and barked “F$&* you”! Sapper told him to calm down, that he was a kid. To which, Bull replied “You aren’t my father!” DM told both Bull and Scratch to relax or the game would stop. Bull calmed down and sulked when he couldn’t produce all of the extra bonuses. Blue tried to console him and point out he still hit his target, but he still acted upset. Things came to a head one day when in an earlier game, Blue was captured in game after she fell in battle and in the subsequent mission, the rest of the party went to save her. Despite Bull’s best efforts, Fox got to her first and had his swashbuckling, two sword flipping, and dashing rescue moment. He even got to scoop her up and swing on a rope to get her out of harm’s way with me sending a fireball at the enemies chasing them so they had an explosion to swing away from! They landed and had an in game kiss, which…they….also…did IRL. Fox, swept her up and laid one on her. Blue was definitely surprised, but she clearly reciprocated the kiss. My jaw dropped. Scratch immediately turned to Bull and blurted out, “OOO, that has to sting!” I saw Bull start shaking. He stood up and started screaming at the DM. “There’s no way he could do that. He killed like 8 guys single handed!” Scratch pointed out that He, Sapper, and I all helped or buffed him with spells or arrows. Even Bull shot and killed one of Fox’s attackers. Bull, knocked over his large soda as he was complaining, and Sapper immediately got up to get paper towels from the kitchen. Bull started in on Fox, claiming he lied on his initiative rolls and exaggerated his movement to get to her. DM said, “Fox rolls on the table in front of us, and we are tracking movement on the grid. There’s no way he could have cheated”. “BullSh*t! You are covering for him! You both are trying to make me look bad, you’ve been doing it all campaign!” Scratch interjected “You don’t need their help to look bad.” Bull screamed again “F&*% you, you little sh*t!” Fox admonished Scratch with a glance, but glared at Bull. Blue stepped in, “Bull, calm down, please.” Bull turned on her, “And you let him kiss you! Come on, let’s get out of here!!!” She said, “What? No, I’m …” DM spoke up, “Dude, you need to leave, now. “Scratch, who was smiling at the action, chimed in “Yeah, get lost, a$$h*!e!!” 
With that, I saw Bull’s hand reach into pocket, I pulled Scratch behind me in an act that, at the time, I didn’t understand why I doing it. Fox stepped back with Blue as DM moved around the table. Bull produced a pocket knife and turned toward DM as he flicked it open. DM pulled a chair in front of him and yelled something like, “DAAA!” Before I knew it, Sapper was rushing into the room. He grabbed Bull’s hand and twisted it hard inward toward Bull’s chest. I heard the knife fall and I saw Bull swing and hit Sapper on his ear. Sapper yanked Bull’s arm behind him and grabbed the back of his neck. He them slammed Bull on the table, (crushing some miniatures) and then slid him onto the floor. There was some wrestling on the floor and Fox and DM rushed over. I couldn’t see what was happening because I backed away and found myself in the corner of the room standing next to Blue. Scratch had slipped out to the other corner to watch the fight. I saw Fox pick up the knife and Sapper barked at him to put it on the table. Sapper then said to DM, “Go get my handcuffs, they are on my belt.” DM ran off through the back door and Sapper directed Fox on how to pin down Bull’s legs. He then told Blue to call the police. After hearing that, Bull stopped cursing and started saying “Ok, Ok, I’m good, I’ll just go. “ Sapper said “Oh, you’re going alright….” Bull pleaded with him, but Sapper kept him down until DM came back with a pair of handcuffs. Like real police handcuffs. Sapper puts them on him and stood him up. He searched him like a cop would and then commanded Bull to sit down in a chair. Sapper then looks at DM and asks, “You ok, son?” to which DM responds.” Yeah, Dad. “
My jaw dropped. It was like that scene at the end of “Usual Suspects”. As Sapper was asking everyone if they were ok, memories started flashing before me. I never realized just how oblivious I was. Here’s a list of revelations that hit me while I was standing there waiting for the police. 
First, Sapper was DM’s father. He lived in the big house. That’s why I never saw him leave. That’s why DM would sometimes call him “pops”, he wasn’t being insulting, he was just talking to his dad!
Second, the reason Sapper told Scratch and I not to mess with Bull, was that he was aware there was something wrong with Bull. I didn’t really pay too much attention to Bull when he would drive me to the game, but he talked a lot about how he and Blue had a relationship, I assumed he was telling the truth. I thought Bull was angry because Fox kissed his girl. Obvious to everyone but me, that wasn’t the case. Sapper was aware of Bull’s delusions and he asked Scratch and I to stop messing with him because he just didn’t want us aggravating the situation. Which brings me to the third thing.
Fox and Blue were actually and item! Scratch later filled me in that he figured out they started dating around the same time we moved the game to the house. Their relationship progressed to the point where they were spending the day together and he was taking her home. Or maybe she was staying there. Either way, that’s why Bull wasn’t driving her to game or home. It seemed that she was so nice that she didn’t want to overtly show off their relationship because she didn’t want to upset Bull.
Fourth thing…..Bull was bat crap crazy!!! He apparently was delusional. He truly believed he and Blue were in a relationship, despite all evidence to the contrary. After all this was done, we all sat down and they discussed everything that happened. Apparently, he been asking Blue out since they met and she had been letting him down, but she still was happy to be his friend. Recently, Fox had a conversation with Bull where he broke it to him that he and Blue were an item. Bull apparently told him he was still going to chase after her saying “Let the best man win.” Sometime after that conversation, Bull got it in his head that he and Blue had some kind of relationship. When he saw Fox kiss Blue, he truly thought Fox was kissing “his” girl. Which is why he snapped.
 Which brings me to the fifth and final thing. Sapper was a cop. He lived in the big house like I mentioned, and that’s why he was leery about moving the game to the house. He lived there with DM’s Step-mother and another son and daughter who was several years younger than DM. He told DM that they had to hold the games in the in the guest house where he was living with Fox. He also wasn’t too happy about having a minor come over but he and DM talked to Scratch’s mom and later to his father at length. I was always nervous around cops back then…..for…reasons…. but I realized that he was just a regular guy, a guy who was into the same things I was into. Well, ……..not everything I was into. 
So this whole internal revelation montage ended, when I heard the sirens of police cars. I was worried about where my backpack was…for ….reasons. They came in and started asking what was going on. Bull started screaming about how his father was a high ranking police officer from the next county over and how they had to let him go immediately. The police got statements from everyone, including me. They arrested Bull and took him away. We all were standing around when Fox apologized to everyone thinking that his actions caused all the problems. Blue apologized because she didn’t realize just how much Bull was into her. Scratch apologized because he thought his teasing pushed him over the edge. I apologized because I just didn’t realize how bat crap crazy Bull was and I never told anyone about his conversations with me. Sapper apologized because he knew we shouldn’t have let Bull play with us. He had a conversation with the store owner who told him that Bull was prone to fits of anger. The owner told him he had calmed down over the years after he suspended him from the store a few times. But the owner still saw that anger bubble out sometimes. DM finally spoke up and said it was his fault. He convinced his dad to bring the game here and allow Bull to play. He said he should have listened to his dad’s intuition. When all was said and done, we all agreed to take a couple weeks off so DM could retool the campaign since Bull’s character was not going to be there anymore.
Sapper, DM, Fox, and Blue went out to tell Scratch’s parents what had happened. She was shocked and according to Scratch, she needed those two weeks to be convinced to let him play at DM’s house again. I saw how upset she was so I didn’t ask for a ride. Sapper offered to take me home, but I politely declined…….for…..reasons and I took the bus. We started up again and DM stated Bull’s character fell during Blue’s rescue.
 Bull apparently showed up a day later to get his car. Sapper stood outside and watched him as he got dropped off and he jumped in without a word. Bull got charged and his family got him a great lawyer that got the charges reduced. I’m not sure if he served time, but I heard he got a ton of community service. We added and subtracted people to our group over the next couple of years we played together. Eventually, my original group started playing D&D again and I decided I would play with the two groups. Years later, I lost touch with Scratch, but through the magic of Facebook, I still talk to the old group. Blue and Fox dated for several years, but eventually parted ways and got married to other people. DM is living with his husband, (another thing I didn’t notice.) I’m actually still very close to Sapper. He was kind of a mentor to me and got me to drop certain…habits, and go into his line of work after I finished school. Now with the advent of online table top gaming, DM is putting together a reunion game using Fantasy Grounds. I’m really looking forward to getting to play with my old friends again. 
submitted by NemoWatches to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 18:32 carmelfscott I (21M) want to break up with my girlfriend (21F) but I still truly love her

My first ever reddit post because it’s a big one and sorry for the long read.
My girlfriend and I been together for over a year now and I don't know what to do. I really do love her but am increasingly feeling like we are too different as people to make it work and there are no signs of those incompatibilities fading away anytime soon. I don't want to invest another year only to then look back with regret.
The main issue in short is that we seem to value the relationship as against other priorities in our lives differently. She works incredibly hard with her academics and job applications (we are in uni), and dislikes it when I “distract” her. She seems to prefer having me around only in the evenings before going to sleep, which is when I mainly see her even though we live 5 doors away from each other. I feel like I want to spend (far) more time together but she wants clear and strict boundaries. She's also really invested in maintaining her expansive social circle of friends which eats up a lot of time too, whereas I prefer a small, tight-knit group. Sometimes I get stood up too (ie "lets hang out at 8!" then at 8 "oh sorry I'm with the girls.")
We practically live together but we’ve been on a single proper date in the past month. We have sex infrequently. She would rather we sleep on our own in our separate rooms even though we both have double beds. She rarely initiates anything. Not dates, not sex, no trips to the library, walks in the park, a drink at the local coffee shop, nothing. I can’t help but feel like an afterthought sometimes, and pathetic when I'm always the one making suggestions. We’ve tried talking about it too, but to be honest I feel like I’m talking to a wall sometimes. She says she will take my concerns seriously but that I also should respect her boundaries. Sounds so diplomatic I wouldn’t think twice if it came from an ambassador to the UN. Days go by and nothing changes.
Obviously there are relationships out there that work well with two very independently-minded people but that just isn’t me. I’ve tried. I’ve tried taking on more responsibilities, making plans with friends I don’t normally do, telling myself repeatedly that she just expresses her love in different ways but I just can’t do it anymore. That’s not me. I love going on romantic dates. I love being physically intimate with her. I love being always available, whether that’s for on the spot plans or something stupid like shopping or laundry. I love spending quality time together. Those are the things I’m looking for in a relationship and I’m tired of trying to change myself because there’s nothing wrong with me. Not that there’s anything wrong with her either. We’re both (I think) great people, just not great together.
So why am I hesitating? Firstly, I love her. I remember how different it was in the early days of our relationship, when she used to come over to my room uninvited (even though we lived further apart then) to surprise me. She would make food then suddenly show up, going “hungry?”. She would send me flowers and sweets. We went on dates, often impromptu. There were nights when out of the blue we would decide to stay up until sunrise chatting and having sex. Things were unpredictable and exciting. We went to Paris together and that was the happiest time of my life. I flick through our photos from that trip almost every other day.
So part of me still holds on to the hope that things could be the way they used to: the thrilling, intense, intimate relationship we once had. But that hope is fading with the day. That part of me wants to go on, clinging on to that hope, telling myself maybe if we communicate more it will work out, or once we are done with exams it will be fine, and a thousand this and thats because I know I love her. Ending this relationship, if that’s what I decide, will break my heart. I’m sure of it. Even nowadays when I find myself frequently speculating how my life would be different without her, whenever we’re walking home hand in hand, or cuddled up in bed against each other, all those speculations go away and I can’t picture anything other than me and my college sweetheart against the great big world out there.
Secondly, I’m terrified. Before I came to uni, I grew up in a small rural town: extremely conservative, extremely religious, extremely small. I barely had any friends. And that was still the case in uni, until I met her, and my world was turned inside out. She became my best friend, and once I had a rock behind me I felt secure enough to come out of my comfort zone. Both physically and emotionally I became a different person. I don’t think any of my friends now have any idea how shy, insecure, and lonely I once was. I am terrified of going back to being that person.
This isn’t made any easier by Covid too. Our friend group in uni will side with her I think, and in any case it would tear the group apart and there’s a (substantial) risk I’ll lose my friends. Outside that, I can’t really meet new people and there aren’t events going on, so no opportunities to properly socialize and make friends or potentially a girlfriend. Also, we graduate this year. Is it really so bad to hold out for another 8 months, in hopes that things will change and if not break it off cleanly then?
Nothing quite like advice from internet strangers – thanks for that reddit.
Tldr: I’m thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend of 1.5 years because we have different priorities and values in our relationship, but am hesitant because I love her more than anyone else in the world and still do
submitted by carmelfscott to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 17:35 ChunkyRainbow0 34 [M4F] Online - It's my 34th birthday today. Would love a kind soul to talk to.

(Warning: This is one downer of a post. Ignore it if you aren't in the mood)
So I hit 34 today.
I usually wouldn't post something like this. But after what I've been through, I've reluctantly realized how much I need a kind, sympathetic soul to talk to.
To say this year hasn't been easy on me would be an understatement. I could probably write 2+ pages on everything, but I no one wants to read that. I'll try to summarize instead just to give you some idea.
Losing my job
  • I've been unemployed since last October. I was well respected and very good at what I do with the track record to prove it. But for 1.5 years my boss made my life a living hell. She did everything she could to make me look incompetent, publicly humiliated me, and straight up made up lies. In the end she got what she wanted and I was terminated.
  • I'm single, but I financially support my parents. 60% of my income goes to their living costs, debts, and medical bills.
  • To make matters worst I took out a huge loan to help my brother immigrate to another country a few weeks before I got fired . The plan was he would start paying me back as soon as he landed a job.
  • 12 months later I only got 3 interviews and no job.
Losing my brother
  • COVID hit and he lost his job a month after landing it. His behavior turned really strange after that.
  • Eventually he went into a full on blood rage, insulted me with the most hurtful shit one can say to another person, let along big brother.
  • He then disowned me and blocked me. His last words to me were that I am a disappointment of a brother and man, that he hopes I land in jail when I default on the his loan.
  • I did absolutely nothing wrong to him to deserve any of this. On the contrary, Whatever little money I had I used to send him half so he can pay bills and stuff.
  • I suspect all this might be severe bipolar disorder that just surfaced. All his change of behavior points to that. I can't think of anything else.
Love Life
  • Oddly enough I managed to start dating someone. She seemed perfect and sparks were flying hard from the get go. That didn't last long as she turned out to be a manipulative, abusive, and narcistic bitch.
  • I've had one date since. She said she was really interested in seeing me again, only to completely ghost for no reason. Never heard from her again.
Financially in the gutter
  • A few short freelance projects managed to keep me barely afloat for some months, but those dried up.
  • The bank won't stop calling me demanding to be paid. My balance is currently in the negative thousands.
  • I went from a good career and decent paying corporate job where I provided for my family and took care of everything, to not being able to afford groceries or even a job interview.
  • Oh, and my rent is due in Jan plus I need to take my cat to the vet for his health issues but I can't.
Broken drive and ambition
  • I've always been driven and ambitious. Its how I got to where I was in my career.
  • I have so many innovative and creative ideas that I can work on. Friends and ex-colleagues have urged me to, telling me they have a lot of potential to grow into profitable businesses.
  • But these days I struggle to do even the simplest of shit.
  • Every time I try to work on anything, I can't help but procrastinate.
  • All the self-doubt, over analysis, and negative outlook just cloud my head and I end up thinking "Why even bother?"
Emotionally and mentally broken
  • I've been struggling with depression for a long time before this, but I still managed to function.
  • This year and all that happened made it so, so much worse. Nowadays even fantasizing about things getting better is an uphill battle. I don't even remember the last time I felt…okay. I don't recall whats it like not being stressed or cursed with such a negative outlook.
  • I need therapy, but that isn't financially possible.
More than anything I yearn for genuine intimacy, for someone to care. Someone to touch me, hold me, and tell me things will be okay. I really need someone to acknowledge what shitty things I've been going through for some reason. Don't know why.
Sometimes I feel that all I need is someone to really believe in me in that way, and that'll push me to do the impossible. But then again that sort of thinking might be wrong and unhealthy. I have to find that push from within in the first place.
I don't why I wrote this. I'm usually too proud to vent and bitch. I withstand whatever is going on and work on solving them rationally. But today…I just really need to talk to somebody.
So yeah. Fancy listening to an internet stranger vent?
submitted by ChunkyRainbow0 to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 17:33 Aggressive_Formal_50 I went from 10+ years of being a total outsider and bullying victim, to probably the most confident guy in my entire social circle. Here's my advice. (long post, most likely very worth it❤️) I love all of you, don't give up ;)

The Flair is "success", but "MEGA SUCCESS" or "HEAVEN" might be more appropriate at this point. Seriously. I can't believe it was all in my head for over 10 years. I think deep down I always knew I would be rewarded for those 10+ years of bullshit one day, but a little over three years ago I would have never believed that most of the next 36 months would be spent on an ever ascending ladder to less and less social anxiety and more and more fun and freedom :)
EDIT: Seriously. I have come so far in the past three years. THIS IS AMAZING😭 Nothing could ever make me happier than reading success stories from y'all, a couple months from now. KEEP AT IT❤️
I'll try to summarize it, if there's anything more you'd like to know just tell me.
1. Commitment The first thing I did (some time in 9th grade) was make the commitment to not care what people think of me under any circumstances, and to trust my own judgment of what is appropriate (in terms of things like behavior, clothing, posture, etc.) and to go with the flow of what I decide to do for myself.
Of course all the thought and behavior patterns that we refer to as social anxiety were still present the next day to the same degree, it's just that my decisions to approach things differently slowly started to snowball over the years, til the point where I am just as confident as I could have always wished to be.
2. Fear Another important thing to note is, that the reason people don't seem to like you (if they don't, but I guess this is a common problem with people like the past me), is because they sense that you fear them.
If you interact with people while thinking about how scared you are that they might judge you, they'll pick up on that, and feel insulted. As in "why the hell would I judge you dude, we don't even know each other, and you never did anything bad to me?!?!".
Consciously nudge your perspective into more of a direction of "I trust this person to be open towards me and not judge me, and if they do, they're most likely not intentionally trying to hurt me, but if they were, that'd be their problem, not mine"
An affirmation like this is going to take some while to really take hold, but you'll quickly notice that the way you think about/interact with people shifts towards a more positive mode.
3. Inertia Trying to become more confident at the job/uni/school/social circle you're currently in is much harder than getting to know a new group of people and establishing yourself as an open and friendly person from the start. It still works, but if you have the option to just find a different group of people, go for it.
For example, I went from kind of a bullying victim, to just a regular but mostly confident outsider after doing homeschooling during 10th grade. There was a noticeable step up in my "sOciAl sTatUS" (social status is stupid and irrelevant, don't even waste your time thinking or worrying about something like that, just allow yourself to keep your mind busy with more positive thoughts, okay?) after 10th grade, since the time I spent not seeing my classmates kind of "broke the pattern", and got rid of some inertia.
4. Appearance/Exercise/Diet (skip this part if that isn't a big issue for you) FUCK. your. appearance. Don't spent a single second worrying about or trying to fix your appearance, unless you genuinely care about it as a hobby. If it's just a way to escape who you currently are, it'll to jack shit for your happiness.
BUT, You can always do things like jogging, strength training, eating less, eating better, skincare, etc. FOR FUN, you just have to know how to avoid certain pitfalls.
First of all, don't see them as tasks. If you wanna exercise, do it to prove just how much physical exertion/exhaustion/healthy pain you can not only handle, but actually learn to enjoy.
It starts off feeling like a task because so many people tell you how hArD getting fit supposedly is, but since the human body was made to push it's legs/heart/lungs/muscles to the limit every now and then, you might quite literally find yourself addicted to exercising at some point in the future. It becomes a source of pleasure.
Doing as many push Ups as I can until my arms just get stuck mid air and don't want to move up any further for another rep brings me more pleasure than a good meal. Seriously, If you haven't, just give working out a try, it's an amazing hobby and one of the best things you could do for your mental and physical health.
You could start out with ~20 minutes every other day. But make sure not to make some sort of strict plan that you then try to adhere to and get disappointed when you don't manage to, causing you to give up. That's silly. Just do it spontaneously. If you randomly feel like it's time for a good workout, go for it.
Food is a similar issue. Don't make some sort of unrealistic plan where you'll never overeat or eat unhealthy food again. Just make a list of all the foods you enjoy (think it through thoroughly, every time you find another food that you haven't thought of before, add it to the list), and once your list is nice and long, pick the helathiest/least unhealthy dozens or so foods/meals, and turn those into your staples.
That way you'll be eating decently healthy, while still enjoying yourself, and adding in some real junk food like Pizza or cheap supermarket ice cream once a week or so won't hurt much (aside from giving you a tiny pimple here and there, maybe).
5. Hobbies This one is very simple. Do you feel bored with your life right now? Is there anything you have ever wanted to try doing? Find some fun activity you haven't done yet, and do that. Things like gaming, listening to music, etc. definitely count, although you'll quickly notice that more creative or active pursuits are actually much more enjoyable.
Just randomly try new things for shits and giggles. Painting, filming short sketches, etc. WHO CARES if the end product is shitty, the process of creating it is going to be enjoyable, especially if you give up trying to make it good. A five year old child doesn't care if it's doodles suck ass, it just picks up the pen and draws, cuz why the fuck not???
Now, for social anxiety specifically, one of the best hoobies you could pick up would be singing or dancing. This might not be possible right now during lockdown, but if/once it is, joining a singing club or a dance school and pushing through the intense "cringe" and awkwardness that will ensue during your first few meetings will do wonders for your confidence!
You're supposed to go through super "cRiNgY" situations every now and then in life. Obviously not with the sole intention of embarrassing yourself, but as a side product of growing as a person. At some point you'll become confident enough to brush off and laugh about even the worst embarrassments you can currently imagine.
Another thing, the more fun activities you find (that have nothing to do with aimlessly scrolling around on the internet or browsing socialanxiety ;), the better you will start to feel about yourself and the more you will have to talk about with people. When you stop feeling/being boring to others, that'll be a huge improvement in terms of how confident and/or popular you are.
6. Girls (since I'm a guy I can't give dating advice to girls, so unless you also have a dick, reading this section won't be of much use to you)
If there is somebody you have a crush on, you have absolutely 0 legitimate excuses to not get to know them. Seriously, think of all the reasons you haven't talked to her and/or asked her or somebody else for her number. What could happen? The worst thing that could happen would be embarrassment and/or humiliation. And since that isn't going to kill you, why expect it to do anything other than make you stronger?
When talking to or texting a girl, don't make it obvious you're interested in her at all. Just start a random casual chat (I know it's fucking hard to think of ANYTHING to say if you have social anxiety, but if you want you can always use the other points from this list to build yourself up to this point).
The best thing you can do is make her think that you're just bored and decided to chat her up for that reason. Talk about whatever hobbies or interests you have (DON'T. EVER. BE. APOLOGETIC. ABOUT. YOUR. HOBBIES OR INTERESTS., if you're interested in history, taking about history. If it's anime, talk anime. Chess? Chess. etc. etc.), and also just ask her to/let her freely talk about her interests.
Don't respond right away to her when texting. Just write something, go on about your day, and come back to her reply a day or two later. That way she will feel unsure if you're interested in her or not, which will make you more attractive to her. Don't overdo it though, waiting a whole week or something would be silly.
Also, do not feel like you have to ask for her permission to: - get to know her - start a relationship (unless you reach the point where you want to start a serious one of course, but a casual "getting to know each other" type "relationship" does not require any type of permission)
7. Eye Contact This is a huge one for people with social anxiety, especially if you're on the autistic spectrum (which does very often come with not enjoying social situations). THERE IS NO APPROPRIATE OR INAPPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF EYE CONTACT. You don't need to do that thing where you go back and forth between looking a person in the eyes and looking away, helplessly struggling to find the appropriate balance. If you like a person and/or the way their eyes look, you can look at them, if you don't, you can look away. You are free to fully decide for yourself when and how much eye contact you use.
In case you don't know, casual conversations are usually done without eye contact, except maybe for short moments once in a while. Serious conversations with your teacheboss/etc. can be done with as much eye contact as you want. Generally, looking them in the eye a lot will make them think of you as
(unless of course the look in your eyes is one of fear and uncertainty, but that is only the case if you keep being unsure and thinking about if your eye contact is appropriate, which you, well, just don't need to...)
*Coming back to my advice on girls, when you first start meeting her and are still pretending to just spend time with her 'cuz why not', having just a bit of eye contact will be just right, but once she starts picking up on the fact that you want her, you can look into her eye just as much as you please. You like the way they look, after all, so why not look at them as much as you want?
Unapologetically holding eye contact with her whenever you feel like it, will make a girl think of you as: - confident - masculine - very trustworthy, and also trusting towards her - willing to face life, just how you're willing to "face" her eyes - a person of authority (and other similar positive associations)
If you don't want to be seen as an "authority", since men being an authority over women has fueled, and still fuels, a lot of the disadvantages that women face in society, then just don't behave like an authority, but if you feel like it would be appropriate to set some sort of rules in a specific situation, where it's genuinely for her benefit, don't be afraid to be assertive.
Controlling boyfriends are always shit, but pretty much every woman wants to be together with an assertive guy, as long as he's empathetic enough to use his assertiveness in a non-egotistical manner!
*I don't have much more to say, except the following:
PLEASE PLEASE read and ponder all the advice I have written down for you here. Mark a day/set a memo 3 months from now, and, starting tomorrow, try to begin putting my advice into practice.
3 months from now, come back to reddit, send me a PM, and tell me what has changed in your life. Remember, there is no rush, you don't have to force anything, just dare to move towards living life to the fullest, starting tomorrow, and see where you have ended up 3 months from now.*
And make sure I notice your PM! :) ❤️👍
submitted by Aggressive_Formal_50 to socialanxiety [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 14:24 Einmariya 💀👻🎃 Samhain & the Blue Full Moon - October 31 🌒🌕🌘

Welcome to the latest sabbat informational post! Throughout the year, we will be posting up these threads to share general information about the next upcoming sabbat so WvP's witches, new and old, can prepare for the holiday. These posts will contain basic information about the holiday and open up for the floor for further questions or discussion.

Special Note About Halloween & Samhain:

For the sake of this post, I'm going to assume that WvP's witches are familiar with the basic principles of the modern Halloween and that it is derived from a conglomeration of older, pagan rituals from around Samhain. After all, Halloween is a pretty basic cultural concept at this point (pop or otherwise), having spread itself globally via media and the internet to places where it was barely heard of even a decade ago.
As such, I'm not going to be talking about Halloween and its connections with Samhain at all in this post. Samhain itself is, after all, a very important witch's holiday in its own right and deserves its proper consideration by itself aside for its current popular holiday connections.
If there's interest, I could put together another post (later, after Samhain) that goes a bit more in depth about particular aspects of Samhain and how they're related to modern Halloween celebrations. But this post as it is will certainly be long enough on its own, I assure you!

💀👻🎃 Samhain & the Blue Full Moon - October 31 🌒🌕🌘

What and When is Samhain?

Samhain (pronounced SAH-win or SOW-in) is one of the eight sabbats of the modern pagan Wheel of the Year. It is one of the "greater sabbats", falling approximately halfway between an equinox and a solstice. The others are Imbolc (mid-Winter), Beltane (mid-Spring), and Lughnasadh (mid-Summer). Samhain also has extra importance due to being the beginning of the Celtic New Year.
In the northern hemisphere, Samhain falls on November 1st, but it is an almost universal practice to celebrate it beginning at sunset of October 31st. According to the original Celtic calendar, days begin at sunset, and because Samhain is such an important holiday, this sunset starting time stuck around longer than it has for other holidays.
For our Southern Hemisphere witches, the next holiday is Beltane, the beginning of the Light half of the year, and its celebrations traditionally fall on November 1st. For more information, check out our earlier Beltane post!

What's all this now about a Blue Moon?

The next Full Moon also falls on October 31st this year, and since it is the second Full Moon within the calendar month of October, it counts as a Blue Moon! It's also the Hunter's Moon and a "micromoon" (meaning that the moon is at its further point from Earth, the opposite of a "supermoon").
Due to the conjunction of a Blue Full Moon and Samhain/Beltane falling on the same date (and of course given the current state of, well, everything), many witches around the world have been using this as an opportunity to add more potency to their spells and rituals, or are otherwise doing more than they might otherwise.

Samhain: History, Connections, and Modern Practice

In historic Gaelic tradition, the year was split into two halves, the dark half and the light half. The dark half of the year began on Samhain, and following the tradition of dates starting with darkness, Samhain also marks the beginning of the New Year as well. It was celebrated throughout Ireland, Scotland, and the Isle of Man, and similar celebrations can also be seen in Wales and parts of England. Based on historical records, we can tell that the original festival likely lasted for more than a single day, with estimates going as high as a full seven days (three days before and after Samhain, plus the day itself).
Samhain is a liminal time, when the veil to the Otherworld is thin, and such it is a perfect time to venerate ancestors and the dead. The fair folk are also more active at this time, as are other spirits and entities. Much was done to both honour the dead and the spirits and other entities, and also to protect one's self from them. Some of these practices included leaving out a dumb supper for the dead, mumming and disguising to hide from spirits (or collect food on their behalf), sacrificing livestock that would not have survived the winter, or otherwise leaving food or other offerings and sacrifices.
Another benefit of the thinning veil is that Samhain is the perfect time for divination of all sorts. Traditionally, this was primarily done in and around the Samhain bonfire. One Scottish ritual involved placing stones in ash around the fire and seeing if any were misplaced by morning. Apples and hazelnuts were also often used in divination rituals, with apples in particular having a strong connection to the dead and being at the height of ripeness.
As you might expect from such an important holiday, Samhain also crops up frequently in Celtic myths and legends. In some cases, such as with the Nemedians in the Lebor Gabála Érenn, Samhain was a time of great sacrifice and may have been used symbolically to represent the harshness of the winter months. Later on, Samhain marks the start of the Second Battle of Mag Tuired when the Tuatha Dé Danann finally defeat the Fomorians, and finally, Finn McCool defeats Áillen on Samhain, ending his 23-year cyclic fiery destruction of Tara.
Samhain is connected to a few different locations in Ireland, such as Oweynagat ("cave of cats") in Rathcroghan, or Tlachtga ("hill of ward") in the Boyne Valley. The Hill of Tara has an especially notable connection at the Mound of Hostages, as the entrance passage is aligned with the sunrise during astrological time period around Samhain.
Many deities also have connections to the holiday, or various aspects of it. In Celtic Mythology, we have The Morrígan and The Dagda (via their encounter before the Second Battle of Mag Tuired), and Tlachtga (a deity or druidess who gave her name to the hill mentioned above). In Scotland, the Cailleach begins her rule. In Wiccan tradition, Samhain marks the death of the Horned God (don't worry, he'll be reborn during Yule) and the Goddess is strongest in her Crone phase. Other deities from traditions around the world are also connected to this time, such as Persephone whose primary myth also involves a split between the dark and light halves of the year, or any other deity associated with Death or Darkness.
As Samhain traditions have managed to survive into the current times so well, modern witches have a wealth of information to pull from for Samhain rituals and celebrations. Although the livestock- and harvest-related aspects of the holiday are less important to us, we can all appreciate and make use of the thinning of the veil, and taking time out of our lives to honour our ancestors, other dead, and all the fairies and spirits and other denizens of the Otherworld that are at their strongest during this time of year.
Honouring our ancestors and other dead spirits is one the most important aspects of Samhain and something almost every witch will try to take time to do in some shape or form during this time. One of the simplest and most common ways to do this is to make an extra meal during Samhain and leave it at an empty space at your dining table, to offer the food for any ancestors who wish to visit during this time. Many witches may also visit graveyards, both of known ancestors or to otherwise honour the forgotten dead who may not have anyone else to visit.
Additionally, just like our ancestors did, now is the perfect time for witches of all ages, knowledge, and skill to brush up on their divination. It's a perfect time to start learning a new divination technique or hone an existing one. Pick up a deck of tarot cards or a pendulum. If you have no talent or inclination towards divination on your own, you may wish to hire a small business witch to do a reading for you.
Aside from traditional Celtic celebrations, many other cultures around the world have their own ways to honour the dead and the coming winter. One of the most well-known examples of this is the Mexican Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead), which was itself based on earlier Aztec festivals honouring Mictēcacihuātl, "Lady of the Dead". Check out the Festival of the Dead page on Wikipedia for a more comprehensive listing of other autumnal, death- and ancestry-related festivals. Especially when honouring ancestors, you may wish to include aspects of some customs they might have known during their lives.
One other pagan aspect of this time of year that I'd like to touch on quick is the Wild Hunt. Chasing the pre-Christian history of the Wild Hunt is far beyond the scope of this post, but it has roots through much of western Europe and is connected to many of the same deities and themes that are so prevalent with Samhain as well, as autumn gets deeper, the dark gets darker, and the spirits become more restless and powerful. Some practitioners of different types of European paganism like to encorprate aspects of the Wild Hunt into their devotions and rituals for this time of year.
Check out our section below for some more specific ideas and examples of ways to celebrate Samhain with yourself, or maybe even a few (properly distanced) family or friends.
As a part of the Wheel of the Year, Samhain follows Mabon, and the beginning of the Dark Half of the year is starting. By now, everything should be harvested and the cattle should be brought to their winter pastures. It is a time to reflect on and honour the dead, and prepare ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually for the long, cold, dark winter coming up ahead.
If you look at the sabbats as a reflection of the self, Samhain is the beginning and the end. It is a time to reflect on the accomplishments of the past year, and to begin looking ahead to what is coming. Mother nature will come alive again in spring, and in the meantime, we need to get right with ourselves, each other, and the world, to set us up for the best chance of success when we begin to sprout again in a few months. Think about what long-term goals and intentions you'd like to work on and take the initial steps towards planning them out.
Symbols: Skulls/Skeletons, Ghosts, Jack-o-Lanterns, Brooms, Cauldrons, Acorns/Nuts Colours: Black, White, Purple, Orange, Red Plants/Herbs: Oak, Rowan, Hazel, Rosemary, Mint, Calendula, Sage, Wormwood Foods: Apples, Pumpkins/Gourds, Nuts, Turnips, Breads, Soul Cakes

Simple rituals and ways to celebrate Samhain include:

  • Honour your ancestors and any other dead you personally wish to honour. This may include visiting graves, hosting a dumb supper, or perhaps following some specific cultural traditions as part of a Festival of the Dead or other Ancestor Veneration. This is a personal thing, so do what works best for you.
  • Honour the Forgotten Dead, those who have no one else to remember them. You may wish to follow a ritual, by yourself or with others, or perhaps something more low-key would suit you, like visiting an old graveyard and speaking to any spirits who may be near.
  • Build a ritual bonfire, a great way to celebrate and stay warm while social-distantly visiting with family and friends. One popular Samhain bonfire ritual is to write something you wish to discard on a bay leaf or piece of paper and symbolically burn it in the fire while thinking of a positive thing with which you'd like to replace it.
  • Perform a divination technique to make the most of the thinning veil. Seances, ouija boards, and other "direct" spiritual communication is popular during this time, or you may prefer something more concrete such as tarot or casting runes. If you've been drawn to divination but not started, now is a great time to give it a whirl! Or you might like to support a small business witch to do a reading for you.
  • Setup, clean, and/or refresh your altar for Samhain. Check here or over at tumblr if you'd like ideas or inspiration.
  • If you want something a bit more old school than the traditional jack-o-lantern, try making your very own turnip head!
  • Make an ancestral altar or shrine with physical mementos of loved ones. This doubles as a great space to make any further ancestral offerings during the season. Remember, you don't only have to only your blood kin, but any others who have passed on can be honoured.
  • If you're not sure what to offer the dead, bake a batch of Soul Cakes.
  • Cook some other Samhain-inspired goodies to unleash your inner Kitchen Witch; here are some suggestions. Freshest is bestest!
  • Perform a Samhain seasonal rite/ritual. Here is a good example of a solitary Samhain ritual, for practicing witches without a coven. This is an example of a simple group ritual that can be customized to fit your needs. This post also contains some nice seasonal spells, rituals, crafts, and rites.
  • Perform an ancestor-related ritual or ceremony. This page contains a number of simple examples to build off of.
  • If you're celebrating Samhain with children, find some ways ways to include them in the holiday, such as by making some child-friendly Samhain crafts.
  • You can also try your hand at another traditional Irish craft, the Parshell Cross, which is very similar to a rowan cross.
  • Celebrate by eating and cooking with seasonal produce.

Tips for New and/or Broom Closet Witches

Samhain can be an intimidating holiday for a new witch, especially one with a religious family and/or one still in the broom closet in any respect. On one hand, the massive pop culture explosion of Halloween has brought death and spookiness into the mainstream for October, and it's easy to blend in. On the other hand, that same popularity can make it difficult to separate out and enjoy the more spiritual aspects of the holiday. Further, there are a great many misconception in the general public about witches and Samhain that can make things particularly uncomfortable.
That said, one of the most important things about Samhain is also the simplest and easiest to do in your own personal way, whatever that is: honouring the dead. Visit a cemetery, look at pictures, leave out an offering of food, think, remember. There are so many ways to honour and connect with those who have gone before, and everyone can do this in their own way. It's also a good way to help come to terms with our own mortality.
In more fun news, this is the perfect time for witches of all types to have fun buying "seasonal" products for year round use. Halloween is perfect for finding lots of witchy, gothy, spooky stuff for altars or deity veneration, jewellery, or even just going full a e s t h e t i c and decorating your space however you like.
Witchy seasonal baking is also in full swing this time of year, and everything pumpkin is super in season, so dig right in! Apples, nuts, dense breads, corn, these are all great foodstuffs that are seasonably appropriate and can be used in a variety of dishes, pastries, drinks, or anything you'd like. Closeted witches may find themselves extra clumsy this time of year, "dropping" food on the floor can't be eaten any longer and must be disposed of (a decent way to disguise offerings, if done in moderation).
Much of the importance of the Wheel of the Year is to really incorporate yourself with nature and the earth's yearly cycles. For most of the temperate, northern part of the world, autumn is definitely in full swing, and some places are already seeing snow flurries. Enjoy the changing colours of the leaves and the brisk freshness of the air during a forest walk, if you can. Now is a great time to spot mushrooms, gather acorns and rowan berries, and to enjoy the stillness of mother nature going to sleep. How are the animals and plants in your neighbourhood preparing for the coming winter? What do you still need to prepare yourself for the coming cold and dark?
Feel free to ask any questions you might have below or otherwise use this post for discussion about Samhain (northern witches), the upcoming Blue Full Moon, or Beltane (southern witches)!
submitted by Einmariya to WitchesVsPatriarchy [link] [comments]


2020.10.27 13:53 Nathan13Darr I have a Document on my Phone with the COMPLETE timeline for the ENTIRE Trilogy, and here it is. If I missed anything lmk

EDIT: I HAVE THIS IN A BETTER FORMAT ON GOOGLE DOCS! IF YOU WANT THIS DM Me and I WILL SHARE IT WITH YOU 1885 • Thursday, January 1: Dr. Emmett Brown (of 1985) accidentally arrives from 1955 and appears at an altitude of about fifty feet over the future location of Lyon Estates (about two miles south of Hill Valley). Despite damage to the vehicle's flying circuits, Doc and the DeLorean are not seriously damaged by the landing. Doc then goes into town and sets up as a blacksmith in Hill Valley. (In so doing, Doc may interfere with the normal timeline by replacing another blacksmith or stealing business from other blacksmiths in town or other towns — however, it is possible there would have been no blacksmith at all if Doc were not there.) • Date unknown between January 1 and September 3: Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen (the great-grandfather of Biff Tannen) asks Doc to shoe his horse but does not pay for them. A shoe would later fall off, leading Buford to break a whiskey bottle and subsequently shoot the horse in frustration. • April: William Sean McFly born, first son to Seamus and Maggie McFly and the first of the McFly family to be born in America. • Saturday, July 4: Doc passes out after drinking one shot of whiskey at the 4th of July celebrations. • Saturday, August 29: There is a meeting of the townspeople over who will pick up the new schoolteacher on September 4. Originally, no-one volunteers. In the altered timeline with Doc, he volunteers; and in the timeline without Marty, he picks her up. • Tuesday, September 1: Doc buries the broken DeLorean time machine in the Delgado mine and writes a letter to Marty McFly, who is stranded in 1955. • Wednesday, September 2: Marty McFly arrives in 1885 to rescue Doc and accidentally rips the fuel line in the time machine. While running from a bear, he hits the fence of the McFly farm, leading him to meet his ancestors Seamus and Maggie McFly. • Thursday, September 3: Marty runs into Buford Tannen and upsets him, causing Tannen to nearly hang Marty (going under the name "Clint Eastwood"). Doc saves Marty in the nick of time. • Friday, September 4: Doc tries repairing the DeLorean, and accidentally saves the life of Clara Clayton, who was supposed to originally fall into Shonash Ravine (which would have resulted in the ravine being renamed Clayton Ravine). It is love at first sight. • Saturday, September 5: The Hill Valley festival, and the inauguration of the newly built courthouse and its clock. Doc and Clara dance. Originally, Buford Tannen shot Doc here, causing Doc to die two days later, but thanks to "Clint," this is avoided. • Sunday, September 6: Doc and Marty prepare to go back to the future. Doc says goodbye to Clara and tells her the truth, but she doesn't believe him, and he brokenheartedly goes to the Palace Saloon. • Monday, September 7: • Marty goes into town to find Doc in the saloon. Doc passes out after drinking a single shot of whiskey; and Marty, Chester, and Joey attempt to revive him. • Tannen shows up in front of the saloon right as Doc awakens; he demands that "Eastwood" come outside and face him. Marty and Doc are ready to escape through the back door when Tannen calls Marty "yellow"; Marty decides not to face Tannen, showing an incredible amount of growth from a mere day earlier. Tannen's gang gets ahold of Doc and threatens to shoot him after Doc and Marty attempt an escape. • Marty then decides to face Tannen, and survives thanks to a trick learned from the Clint Eastwood movie A Fistful of Dollars. He and Doc then flee to catch the train. • Meanwhile, Clara, on a train to San Francisco, hears someone talking about a man talking about her, and she stops the train and jumps off to find Doc. She discovers clues at the blacksmith shop and runs to the spur line Doc and Marty are using; • Doc and Marty use a stolen train's locomotive to push the DeLorean up to 88 mph toward Shonash Ravine to go back to 1985. Marty goes back to the future; but Doc, who went to Clara's rescue, is forced to stay behind. • Tuesday, September 8: • Clara Clayton's funeral was to occur on this day had she fallen into the Ravine. • Tuesday, September 15: • Emmett Brown and Clara Clayton get married. • Tuesday, December 1[1]: Had Clara fallen into the ravine, it would have been renamed for her on this day. Since "Clint" is presumed to have crashed along with the locomotive, he enters the town's folklore as the man who beat "Mad Dog" Tannen and stopped bandits from stealing a locomotive, and Shonash Ravine is instead renamed Eastwood Ravine.
1955 • Saturday, November 5th: • Marty McFly used the DeLorean time machine to escape Libyan terrorists and accidentally traveled back in time to the very day Dr. Emmett L. Brown conceived of the possibility of time travel: November 5, 1955. Where the Twin Pines Mall would someday stand, Marty arrived at the Twin Pines Ranch and crashed into Otis Peabody's barn. • Marty escaped gunshots and ran over one of the two pines at the entrance of the farm. Apparently, this caused the Mr. Peabody to rename his ranch as the "Lone Pine Ranch", and the mall to be renamed "Lone Pine Mall"). • Marty drove onto a highway that passed by the future Lyon Estates. • Marty hid the DeLorean behind a sign and walked two miles to town. • Marty attempted to call Doc at Klondike 5-4385 and got no answer (and, fortunately, did not inadvertently disrupt Doc's revelation concerning the flux capacitor) • Marty ordered a coffee at Lou's Cafe and encountered his father George McFly. • Marty tracked George down and saved him from being hit by Sam Baines's car. • Marty was hit by the car instead of George, changing history. • While hanging a clock in his home bathroom, Dr. Emmett Brown slipped and hit his head on the porcelain sink and had an epiphany: a vision of the flux capacitor, which he theorized could make time travel possible. He was only able to realize his dream after 30 years of toil and, in 1985, he built a time machine out of a DeLorean. • Marty woke up later that day in Lorraine Baines's bedroom and became known as "Calvin Klein". • Marty had dinner with the Baines family while they watched the premiere of The Honeymooners episode "The Man From Space", and found the location of Doc's mansion. • Marty convinced Doc that he was from the future and they recovered the car • Marty arrives in 1955 from the original 1985, on Otis Peabody's farm (a.k.a. Twin Pines Ranch) on the future site of the Twin Pines Mall/Lone Pine Mall. Peabody's son, Sherman, thinks Marty is an alien and Otis chases him out. Marty knocks down one of Old Man Peabody's two pine trees. Peabody later reported that he saw an "alien", but was declared insane and was sent to the County Asylum. • Marty accidentally prevents the first meeting of his future parents, George McFly and Lorraine Baines. • Sunday, November 6th: Doc realizes that Marty has interfered with his parents' first meeting and that he and his siblings will be erased from existence unless Marty can get them together. • Otis Peabody was sent to the County Asylum after claiming to officials that a "space zombie" crashed into his barn. • Marty McFly hooked up the JVC camcorder to Doc Brown's television set, after they had brought the DeLorean Time Machine back to Doc's garage, at about 12:30 in the morning (according to the clock in the garage). After initial despair that a source could ever be found to generate 1.21 gigawatts to send Marty back to 1985, Doc and Marty learned that a bolt of lightning would strike the Clock Tower on November 12. Soon after, they realized that there was another problem to solve; Marty's interference with his parents' first meeting was jeopardizing his existence. • Doc went to a local Sears & Roebuck store, where he purchased clothing more appropriate for Marty to wear in 1955. • Monday, November 7th: Marty, as "Calvin Klein", goes to Hill Valley High School to try and get George and Lorraine together, but she has a crush on Marty instead of George. • On the first day of school after Marty McFly was hit by a car, Marty went to Hill Valley High School to tried to introduce George and Lorraine to each other, but she has developed a crush on Marty instead of George. Marty notices the poster for the Enchantment Under the Sea dance that his parent have to attend. • Marty discovered that George wrote science fiction stories in the school cafeteria, and defended Lorraine against Biff's unwelcome advances. • After failing to change George's mind about asking Lorraine out as he followed George home, Marty made plans to scare George while dressed as a space alien later that night. • Tuesday, November 8th: • Marty, wearing a radiation suit and describing himself as "Darth Vader, an extra-terrestrial from the planet Vulcan", visits George in the middle of the night, to try and convince him to take Lorraine to the dance that Saturday. • Marty defeats Biff Tannen in a skateboard chase around Courthouse Square, causing Biff and his gang to crash into a parked manure truck. • Lorraine tells Marty, "I was wondering if Marty you would ask me to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance". • George tried to ask Lorraine out at the cafe, but when Biff interrupted, Marty defeated him in a skateboard chase • Doc used a demonstration model to explain to Marty his plan to use lightning to power the flux capacitor, and Lorraine asked Marty to ask her to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance • Wednesday, November 9th: Marty and George come up with a plan for Saturday night that will see George become a "fighter" for Lorraine. • Saturday, November 12th: • Original timeline • Accompanied by her friend Babs, Lorraine Baines goes to Ruth's Frock Shop to pick up a dress she had made. • Lorraine kisses George McFly for the first time at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. One week earlier, George had been struck by a car driven by Lorraine's father, Sam Baines, and Lorraine looked after him during his recovery. Lorraine accepted George's invitation to go the dance. Marvin Berry & the Starlighters play popular music during the entire dance, such as "Night Train" and "Earth Angel". • During the famous Hill Valley Thunderstorm, a bolt of lightning strikes the Clock Tower at precisely 10:04 p.m., and it hasn't worked since. • Altered timeline • Biff Tannen goes to Western Auto to pick up his newly-repaired car (which had hit a manure truck days earlier). Shocked and bothered about the $302.57 bill, Biff and Terry, the mechanic, have a heated argument. • Biff approaches Lorraine and Babs as they emerge from Ruth's Frock Shop nearby. As Biff tries to coerce Lorraine into going with him (instead of with "that bug George McFly" or with "Calvin Klein" [Marty]) to the dance later that night, she rebuffs his advances. A persistent Biff then boasts to her about someday marrying her. • Doc Brown sets up electrical wiring at Courthouse Square as part of a "weather experiment" • Marty writes a letter to Doc to warn him about his untimely death in 1985. • Marty drives Lorraine to the high school dance as part of a scheme to get her and George McFly back together. • Biff, still very angry over his car's $300 repair bill, comes to the school dance in search of Marty. • George McFly punches out Biff and wins Lorraine's romantic interest back, sparking a change in their future relationship. • Marty plays "Earth Angel" and "Johnny B. Goode" at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. • Marty McFly travels back to 1985 after speeding the DeLorean time machine up to 88 miles per hour (and harnessing the lightning bolt that strikes the Clock Tower), leaving behind a pair of fire trails. • Second altered timeline • Biff of the 2015 timeline arrives in the time machine. He then ventures into town, witnessing his younger self picking up his newly-repaired car from Western Auto. Assuring his younger self: "Today's your lucky day!", Old Biff gives him the Grays Sports Almanac, thus creating the 1985A timeline. • The football game UCLA vs. Washington took place ending 19-17, thereby verifying the reliability of the Grays Sports Almanac • Third altered timeline • Doc and Marty return to 1985 and see it altered. They then travel to 1955 to prevent Old Biff from giving the Sports Almanac to his younger self. • While at Western Auto, Marty (having followed young Biff into town) climbs into Biff's newly-repaired car (without bering seen by 1955 or 2015 Biff). Young Biff, in the middle of the argument with Terry, throws cans at Marty, who is hiding in the back seat. • Doc Brown encounters his 1955 counterpart while on the way to free Marty from Biff's garage, but is able to prevent his younger self from recognizing him. • Marty recovers and destroys the Gray's Sports Almanac, restoring the space-time continuum to the original 1985 timeline. • Time circuits on the DeLorean scramble and the DeLorean is struck by lightning, sending Doc to 12:00 a.m. on January 1, 1885. • Western Union delivers a letter from Doc Brown to Marty instructing him on where to find the time machine and giving him explicit instructions to return to 1985 and destroy the DeLorean. • Immediately after the first Marty had been sent back to October 26, 1985, the second Marty returns to the Courthouse Square and scares the 1955 Doc into fainting. • Complete final timeline • DeLorean D = From 1885. November 12th, 1955: • 6:00 AM - Marty 2 and '85 Doc arrive from 1985A in DeLorean C and land the DeLorean behind the advert 2 miles away from Hill Valley. • 1:40 PM - Old Biff arrives from 2015 in DeLorean B. • 2:00 PM - Marty 2 follows '55 Biff to the town centre. • 2:06 PM - Old Biff gives '55 Biff the Almanac. • 6:38 PM - Old Biff goes back to 2015 in DeLorean B • 8:30 PM - '55 Doc is setting the cabling up in the Town Square. • 8:50 PM - '85 Doc arrives on a Bicycle at town square. He gives '55 Doc a 3/4 wrench and leaves. • 8:54 PM - '55 Biff arrives at the Enchantment under the Sea dance. Marty 2 is hiding in the back of his car. • 8:56 PM - Marty 1 arrives at the dance (with Lorraine) in '55 Doc's car. • 8:57 PM - '55 Biff, still upset over the $300 damage to his car, grabs Marty 1 and hands him over to Match, 3-D, and Skinhead, who trap him in Reginald's car. • 8:58 PM - Biff tries his way with Lorraine. • 8:59 PM - Marvin Berry injures his hand while forcing the trunk of Reginald's car open to free Marty. • 9:00 PM - George goes to save Lorraine from '55 Biff, and knocks him out • 9:01 PM - '85 Doc begins to fly DeLorean C to the dance. • 9:10 PM - Marvin Berry and the Starlighters (with Marty 1 playing guitar due to Marvin's hand injury) sing 'Earth Angel'. Marty begins to fade out of existence as Mark Dixon steals Lorraine by pushing George away. • 9:28 PM - '85 Doc leaves to pick Marty 2 up at Hill Valley High School • 9:30 PM - George pushes Mark Dixon over, resumes dancing with Lorraine, then kisses her for the first time. Marty and his siblings reappear as they are now born again. • 9:30 PM - Marty 2 enters the dance. '55 Biff's goons are following him. Upon not being able to find him, they plan to jump Marty 1 (who is playing Johnny B. Goode on the stage). • 9:34 PM - Marty 2 drops some sandbags on the goons. Marty 1 finishes his guitar solo and everyone looks at him like he's an idiot. • 9:36 PM - '55 Biff finds Marty outside the dance and calls him 'Chicken' • 9:38 PM - Marty 1 runs out of the door, hitting Marty 2 in the face and runs away without noticing. Biff picks up the Almanac from Marty 2 and drives away in his car. • 9:39 PM - '85 Doc arrives at the dance in DeLorean C and picks up Marty 2. • 9:48 PM - '55 Biff crashes into a manure truck. • 9:51 PM - Marty 2 burns the sports almanac. History is changed back to normal. • 9:53 PM - DeLorean C (with '85 Doc in it) is struck by lightning and sent to 1885. • 9:54 PM - The western union man arrives and gives Marty 2 '85 Doc's letter (that '85 Doc wrote in 1885 after being sent there) • 9:55 PM - Marty 2 begins running two miles back to the Clock Tower • 9:55 PM - Marty 1 arrives at the Clock Tower. • 9:56 PM - '55 Doc inputs the destination time 'OCT 26 1985 01:35 AM' into the time circuits of DeLoreanA. • 9:57 PM - A gust of wind blows down a tree branch, breaking the cable's link. • 9:58 PM - '55 Doc climbs up to the top of the Clock Tower. • 10:00 PM - The clock tower bell rings and scares '55 Doc. Marty 1 makes his way to the starting line in DeLorean A. • 10:01 PM - Marty 1 inputs the new destination time into DeLorean A's time circuits: 'OCT 26 1985 01:24 AM' (Note the time circuits display for 'Present Time' in this scene are incorrect, as they display '09:56 PM' when the clock tower has obviously just rung 10 O'clock) • 10:01 PM - DeLorean A (with Marty 1 in it) stalls. • 10:02 PM - DeLorean A starts, and Marty 1 drives towards the clock tower. • 10:02 PM - '55 Doc accidentally disconnects the cable from the OTHER END as well. Part of the ledge below the clock's face breaks under Doc's feet, forcing him to hang on to the cable. • 10:03 PM - '55 Doc loops the cable around the minute hand. • 10:03 PM - Doc slides down the cable and fiddles with the connection. • 10:04 PM - Lightning strikes the clock tower, and it stops at exactly 10:04 PM • 10:04 PM - '55 Doc reconnects the cable • 10:04 PM - The connecting hook on DeLorean A hits the cable, and the electricity goes into the flux capacitor, sending DeLorean A and Marty 1 to 1985. • 10:04 PM - Marty 2 arrives and tells '55 Doc he's back from the future. '55 Doc faints. • 10:05 PM - Marty 2 puts '55 Doc into Doc's car and begins driving him home. • Estimated 10:15 PM - Marty 2 arrives at 1640 Riverside Drive and takes Doc inside. • Sunday, November 13th: 1955 Doc reads the letter his older self in 1885 has written. • Monday, November 14th: Marty and Doc uncover the DeLorean from the Delgado mine at the Boot Hill Cemetery, where the 1985 Doc was buried in 1885. • Tuesday, November 15th: Doc repairs the DeLorean. • Wednesday, November 16th: Marty leaves 1955 and heads back to 1885 to rescue Doc.
1985 Timeline 1 • Friday, October 25 , 8:15 a.m.: Marty arrives at Doc's house, with the clocks saying 7:50. He plugs in his guitar. • Doc calls Marty and tells him that he and Einstein are away. • Jennifer and Marty are given slips for tardiness. • Marty fails the Battle of the Bands. • Marty witnesses Biff bully his father and is told the car is damaged. He is told by his sister that Jennifer tried to call him three times, with Lorraine, his mother, explaining that she never did what he was doing with George. • Marty accidentally falls asleep. • Saturday, October 26, 1:00 a.m.: • Doc calls Marty. • Marty arrives at the Twin Pines Mall with his camera. • Saturday, October 26, 1:15 a.m.: • Marty arrives at the Twin Pines mall. • Saturday, October 26, 1:16 a.m. • Einstein arrives in the DeLorean. • Saturday, October 26, 1:20 a.m. • Marty and Doc put plutonium in the time machine. • Saturday, October 26, 1:30 a.m. • Doc is shot by Libyan terrorists. • Saturday, October 26, 1:35 a.m. • Marty arrives at November 5th, 1955 after accidentally going to 88 mph. • Timeline 2 • Saturday, October 26, 1:36 a.m.: Marty McFly arrives from November 12th, 1955, 10:04 p.m., and witnesses Doc being shot again, and himself going back in time. He arrives and learns that Doc faked his death with a bulletproof vest after reading Marty's letter after November 12th, 1955. • Marty wakes up from his previous day, and sees Jennifer who he hasn't seen for 9 days. • Doc arrives and brings them back to the future. • Timeline 3 • Saturday, October 26, 6:00 p.m.: Marty, Jennifer, Doc, and Einstein arrive from October 21, 2015 after saving Marty Jr. • Marty arrives at Lyon Estates, with him realizing that he was in the wrong house. • Marty discovers that his father, George, was killed in 1973. • Timeline 4 • The DeLorean's time circuits as they appeared one minute after the first demonstration.​​ • Saturday, October 12: Libyan terrorists steal plutonium from the local power plant, but it is dismissed by the FBI as a "simple clerical error". • Friday, October 25: • About 8:23 AM - Marty McFly enters Doc's garage and turns on the CRM-114 amplifier. • Due to a slight overload, he destroys the amplifier. • Doc Brown calls and tells him to meet him at Twin Pines Mall at 1 AM, Saturday. • Doc's clocks all chime at 8:25 a.m. • Marty rushes to Hill Valley High School and is late, receiving a tardy slip from principal Stanford S. Strickland. • Marty and his band The Pinheads audition for the Battle of the Bands. • Marty gets Jennifer Parker's grandma's number and plans to go up to the lake. • Marty arrives home and sees the car which has been wrecked by Biff Tannen while drinking and driving (at the same time!). • George McFly watches The Honeymooners episode "The Man From Space". • Lorraine announces that "Jailbird" Joey Baines failed to make parole again. • Dr. Emmett Brown asks Marty to meet him at Twin Pines Mall at 1:15 a.m. the next morning. • Marty fails his Battle of the Bands audition with his band, The Pinheads. • Lorraine McFly's brother, Joey Baines, fails to make parole again. • Saturday, October 26: • Originally planned as the date on which Marty and Jennifer were going camping at the lake; their time traveling adventures would ultimately cancel these plans. • Original timeline • Doctor Emmett Brown calls Marty McFly after midnight to come down to Twin Pines Mall • Marty picks up Doc's JVC recorder and arrives at the mall after 1 am. • Doc unveils his DeLorean time machine. • Doc creates the world's first temporal displacement test at 1:20:00 am, sending his dog Einstein one minute into the future. • At 1:21:00 am, the car reappears and the test is a success. • Doc places another pellet of plutonium in the car. • Libyan terrorists arrive and kill Doc. • Marty escapes in the DeLorean, activating the time circuits, and accidentally travels back to 1955. • The Libyans crash into a photo booth. • Revised timeline • Marty arrives back in 1985 early to save Doc, but the car dies and Marty runs down to the Lone Pine Mall. • Marty watches Doc get shot again and his other self travel back in time. • Marty finds that Doc was wearing a bulletproof vest, as a result of reading Marty's letter to him warning of his death. • Doc drives Marty back to his house. • Doc travels roughly 30 years into the future. • Marty wakes up to find a completely different family and life. • Jennifer Parker arrives. • Doc returns in an improved DeLorean from 2015 and takes them with him. • Biff Tannen watches the DeLorean take off and reach temporal displacement. • From about 1:18 a.m. to 1:35 a.m., in the parking lot of the Twin Pines Mall, Doc demonstrates his new DeLorean time machine. His dog Einstein becomes the world's first time traveler at 1:20 a.m. The Libyans find, shoot and (seemingly) kill Doc. Marty flees in the DeLorean and accidentally departs for 1955 at 1:35 a.m. • At 1:24 a.m, Marty returns from his first trip to 1955, runs from Courthouse Square over to what is now the Lone Pine Mall, and discovers that Doc lived because he'd been warned by Marty in 1955 via a letter (which he had torn up, but later stuck back together) about the Libyans. • Marty wakes up in the morning and finds that the interior of his house has changed, and the lives of his family members have also improved, due to his altering the events of his mother and father's first meeting each other in 1955. • Doc travels to the future, then comes back at about 10 a.m. and takes Marty and Jennifer to 2015. • Sunday, October 27: • Marty arrives back in 1985 at 11 a.m. from 1885 and the DeLorean is destroyed after being hit by a locomotive. The ravine that the railroad bridge travels over is now called Eastwood Ravine instead of Clayton Ravine due to time-changing events that took place in 1885. • Marty originally races Douglas J. Needles and crashes into a Rolls-Royce, negatively affecting his future; but through his time-traveling adventures Marty has learned much and ultimately avoids the race, thus changing the future. • Doc, Clara and their sons arrive in the Jules Verne Train to visit Marty and Jennifer, before departing for times unknown. • OctobeNovember: George McFly's first novel, A Match Made in Space, is published. The cover alludes to young George, young Lorraine, and "Darth Vader" (Marty's anti-radiation suit, utilized as a costume in 1955).
2015 • Timeline 1: • Saturday, August 8: • Doc and Einstein arrive from 1985. • Note: The following section is considered non-canon or is disputed in canonicity • The Hill Valley 1980s Car Expo is held. Doc enters his DeLorean and wins first prize, 10% off a hover conversion at Goldie Wilson Hover Conversion Systems. To get the money he needs for this and the Mr. Fusion, he searches the internet for the best investment to make, then travels back to April 18, 1938 to pick up several new copies of the first issue of Action Comics. • Non-canon or disputable information ends here. • Wednesday, October 21: Marty McFly Jr. is arrested after being set up for a robbery by Griff Tannen. • Thursday, October 22: Marty Jr. is tried, sentenced and convicted to 15 years in the state penetentary for the robbery. • Wednesday, October 28: Marty's daughter Marlene attempts to break her brother out of prison. She is sentenced to 20 years in jail. • Dates unknown • Note: The following section is considered non-canon or is disputed in canonicity. • After picking up several new copies of the first issue of Action Comics in 1938, Doc returns to an unknown time in 2015 where he sells one of the comics. He then uses the discount he won to get a hover conversion by Goldie Wilson III, has his DeLorean outfitted with a Mr Fusion, and establishes a fake identity under the name Leroy Brown. Then he travels to another point in 2015 to sell another of his Action Comics at Southby's Auction House for $2.5 million dollars. • Non-canon or disputable information ends here • Doc undergoes personal rejuvenation surgery and learns as much as he can about Marty Jr.'s meeting with Griff on October 21. Doc also places Einstein in a suspended animation kennel. He places the remaining money in a bank. Eventually, Doc leaves for 1985 to pick up Marty and Jennifer. • Timeline 2: • Friday, October 9: Holomax Jaws 19 debuts at the theater: "This time, it's really really personal." • Wednesday, October 21: • The Chicago Cubs win the World Series. • Doc Brown, Marty McFly and Jennifer Parker arrive in 2015 to save Martin McFly, Jr. from being set up for a crime by Griff Tannen. • Marty poses as Marty Jr. and manages to change future history for the better by causing Griff and his gang to crash into the Hill County Courthouse, resulting in their being arrested. • 2015 Biff Tannen steals the DeLorean time machine and heads back to 1955 with the sports almanac, then returns the DeLorean without either Doc or Marty noticing. • The 47-year-old Marty, dared by Needles, illegally lets Needles scan his card, and subsequently gets fired by Mr. Fujitsu. • Thursday, October 22: Griff and his gang are sent to jail for wrecking the Courthouse Mall.
EDIT: ARGH It didn't do it in the bullet point formula I wanted. I have it on a google doc if you want it in bullet point form just let me know and I'll share it with ya. If i missed anything or want me to add anything let me know!
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2020.10.27 12:05 tessa-grey The Disappearance of Andrew Gosden

Disappearance of Andrew Gosden
In 2007, 14 year old Andrew Gosden appeared to be a happy, quiet, studious boy destined for great academic success. He was described as absent-minded, shy, happy with his own company but with a small group of friends. Then, on the 14th of September, just a week after school began, he disappeared.
On the 14th of September, Andrew left home as usual at 8:05 after having trouble waking up and being slightly irritable. His mother described this as unusual as he was usually good at getting up on time for school. he walked his usual route from home to the bus stop through a local park, called Westfield Park, where he was seen by family friend Rev. Alan Murray. I assume a man of the cloth to be a reliable witness- and as a family friend, he would have easily been able to recognise Andrew. However, instead of getting on the school bus, Andrew went to a cash machine at a local garage where he withdrew £200- the maximum amount of money he could withdraw, as he had £214 in his account and the machine would only allow withdrawals of £20 notes. After this, he was seen on a neighbours camera system returning to his house. At home, Andrew changed into a black Slipknot t-shirt and black jeans, placing his school blazer on the back of his chair and the rest of his uniform in the washing machine. He took a bag decorated with band patches containing his wallet, keys and his Playstation Portable console. Andrew did not appear to take a jacket, according to his father, and did not take his psp charger or £100 in cash that was in his room. To me, not taking his jacket or charger, but taking his keys, means that Andrew did in fact intend to return home. However, he could have taken his keys with him on autopilot and simply forgotten his charger, or not taken it because he didn't intend to return alive.
At 8:30 am, Andrew left his home and was seen heading down Littlemoor Lane towards Westfield Park, again on a neighbours camera. He walked to Doncaster Station, where he purchased a one way ticket to Kings Cross Station, despite the ticket seller telling him that a return was only 50p or £1 more. The one way ticked could mean he never intended to return home, at least that day, or it could be a red herring. Andrew was described as shy and was deaf in one ear; he could have easily misheard the ticket seller and been too shy to ask her to repeat herself, or even too shy or too socially awkward to change his mind.
At 9:35, Andrew was seen boarding the train alone. A woman who sat next to him described him as quiet and engrossed in his psp game.
At 11:20, Andrews train arrived at Kings Cross.
At 11:25, he was seen on CCTV leaving the station. This is the last confirmed sightng of Andrew Gosden.
Andrew's disapearance wasn't noticed until around 7pm. his parents had assumed he was at school. The school had attempted to ring home to report his absence, but had accidentally dialled the number of a student either above or below Andrew in the register and left a message for the wrong person. At home, Andrews parents assumed he was playing video games in the converted cellar or in his room doing homework. When his parents discovered he was missing, the police were called and his family and friends searched the area.
Three days after he went missing, police confirmed he had travelled to London after speaking to the ticket seller. His father stated that Andrew knew people in London he could have stayed with, so the single ticket may not be important at all. Initial police searches focused on areas within London where the family had relatives, such as Chislehurst and Sidcup. The family also handed out flyers at places in London they felt Andrew would have liked to visit, such as museums and exhibitions.
Sightings
At the time of the first anniversary of his disappearance, there had been 122 possible sightings of Andrew all over Britain, with 45 in London.
The family believe the most plausible sighting is one of Andrew in Pizza Hut on Oxford Street, an hours walk from Kings Cross Station, on the day he went missing. However, his father claimed that the police never followed up on this sighting.
Other unconfirmed sightings place Andrew in Covent Garden on the 17th of September, sleeping in a park on Southwark on the 18th of September and getting off a train at Mortlake Station and walking up Sheen Lane and along Upper Richmond Road on the 19th of September.
Later there were other unconfirmed sightings, from London to South Wales to Plymouth. However, Andrew's father also alleges none of these sightings were followed up by police.
In November of 2008, a man visited Leominster police station in Herefordshire, West Midlands and used the intercom system to talk to a police officer, stating that he had information about Gosden. By the time an officer arrived to take the details, the man had left. The police station is located in a business park and is in a location that would have required a special effort to visit.[63] Subsequently, an individual claiming to be the man at the police station wrote anonymously to the BBC after it featured the case on The One Show. He gave details of a possible sighting of Andrew in Shrewsbury in November 2008. This has never been confirmed, nor has it been confirmed if it was the same man, however, the similarity in dates suggests to me that is is.
Theories
One popular theory is that Andrew went to London to meet someone who had been grooming him online. He was shy and quiet, and looked younger than his age. To me, this seems like someone a predator would target. He had chosen to walk to school twice in the days leading up to his disappearance; a walk that would have taken an hour and 20 minutes. It's possible that he was using this time to talk to someone; possibly an older man or boy, someone that he felt he couldn't bring home. Its also been posited that Andrew met someone online. However, although he had owned a mobile phone, he had lost it a few moths before his disappearance and was not interested in replacing it. Computers in the school and local library were checked but there was no evidence that Andrew was communicating with anyone. There was no record of an account or communication on his PSP. The only computer in the home was his sister's laptop; she stated that he did not seem interested in social media connecting with people through the internet. His father also stated that Andrew did not have an email address. Andrew attended a gifted and talented summer school, which he was 'uncharacteristically enthused' about afterwards, and its entirely possible that he met someone there, but its unlikely they would have been able to communicate afterwards.
Another theory is that Andrew bunked off school and went to London to attend a concert and met with foul play. The night of his disappearance, Thirty Seconds To Mars and SikTh were both playing, and HIM, a band Andrew was known to like, was doing a promotional signing on the 17th of September. There is no evidence that Andrew ever attended these events. A canal close to the SikTh event was apparently never checked.
Another theory is that Andrew Gosden simply left to start a new life. Although his family seem lovely, we never really know what goes on behind closed doors, although I argue that if there had been abuse, the investigation would have revealed this. Its unlikely that a 14 year old with only £200 could survive in London. He looked younger than his age; it would have been difficult for him to get legitimate work. Its possible he could have squatted someone, fallen in with a crowd of homeless people or drug users until he was old enough to make his own way, but his disappearance was highly publicised. How could he have gone unnoticed for that long? Also, if he had been hiding out or living with a gang of some kind, one involved in illegal dealings, they could have killed him to avoid attention. I don't know a lot about gangs in London in 2007, but this theory does not seem very likely.
The idea that he is still alive after going to London for reasons unknown is supported by police appeals. They launched a fresh appeal in September of 2017, almost exactly 10 years after Andrew's disappearance, which included circulating Andrew's DNA, fingerprints and medical records. There are still missing person posters of Andrew in London. This could be because its a well known case with a lot of publicity, so it is still used to spread awareness, or it could be that the police have reason to believe Andrew is still alive. A quick google search showed six news articles about Andrew Gosden this year such as https://medium.com/crimebeat/the-unsolved-disappearance-of-14-year-old-andrew-gosden-57a7c4d796ad . Could this be because there's been more activity in his case?
In June of 2018, his family revealed that someone had reported an online conversation with someone with the user name 'Andy Roo,' a family nickname for Andrew, who claimed that their boyfriend had left them and they needed £200 to cover rent. When someone offered to send them money, the user claimed they did not have a bank account as they had "left home when they were 14." This link was investigated by police but the person was not identified. This could be tentative proof that Andrew is still alive, or it could a red herring. If you had run away from home and are presumably trying to avoid detection, why would you use a user name of an old family nickname? Why would you put personal information that could be traced back to a missing persons case online?
I personally believe that Andrew died shortly after he went missing. Although I would love for him to be alive and well, and the police and the posters give a certain degree of hope, I think it is highly unlikely that a 14 year old boy could have survived for 13 years. I think it's possible he felt bored or suffocated at home, as many teenagers do and went to London for a day or a few days for an adventure. If the sightings in Oxford Street and Covent Garden are true, then its possible he was alive in London for a while before either dying accidentally, or being murdered. To his body not being found, London is a big place and there are lots of places, unfortunately, to dispose of a body. If he was murdered, it's possible he was abducted and killed somewhere far away from Kings Cross or any sightings, somewhere the police wouldn't think to look.
http://helpustofindandrew.weebly.com/
Apologies for spelling mistakes, format etc, this is my first post on this subreddit. I know this has been posted many times before, it is a pet case of mine.
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